Turning Tables

Julia decides her lion wants some pastine.

She was quite pleased with herself. Me? Not quite so much, the lion was a very messy eater, it turned out.

Thank you to all of you for the kind emails and cards and words about Mom Mom Jule. Her funeral was yesterday and it was a beautiful opportunity to honor and remember her. I came home craving a food that I will forever associate with Mom Mom, pastine. Nothing more "comfort foodish" than pastine. Simple chicken broth and acine de pepe pasta, with some grated locatelli on top. Delish. Julia, my little mother hen, decided to feed the masses ~ her entire menagerie of big cats dug in along with us.

We are settling back in and trying to get our feet back under us in the wake of this week. The entire time I was away on vacation I was missing my babies so much, I thought about how I could not wait to get home, how refreshed I would be, how much more patient and creative and nurturing I would be. You know, like....... supermomish? However.....upon landing, being at the hospice and up until 2.30, Mom Mom's death, and Luke waking me up at 6.30 am, I am ashamed to admit that all of my "refreshed" ideals went out the window ~ within about 15 minutes. The kids were a bit out of sort early in the week ~ I have to tell you that thus far I am not a huge fan of 3. In fact, right now I would go so far as to say that 3 kind of sucks. I am hoping that this is just a phase, or is really just about me being tired/emotional and more short tempered, but Luke has simply exhausted me this week. Little Ms. Julia, who is more frequently the one who brings the drama, has simply been oozing charm and hilarity lately, which is helping offset captain crankypants the drama boy that 3 has unleashed upon our house. I think that the weather is playing a part ~ I have to tell you that last Friday morning when I opened up the doors of the resort and stepped outside onto the golf course I actually had tears come to my eyes ~ the smell of fresh cut grass and the warm breeze literally were like a blessing. This has been a cold, snowy, icy, and cruel winter. I catch myself fantasizing about open windows, eating on the deck, watching our garden grow, and running outside in just a shirt and shorts. I keep catching my mind wandering to corn on the cob, fresh tomatoes, tan little legs, sundresses, riding bikes, long family walks, picnics at the park, and long afternoons on the beach. This glove/hat/coat/sweater/boots regime is physically exhausting. This weekend is supposed to be 50 ~ I never, EVER thought that 50 could make me giddy with excitement.

I think that Jules is ready to make the leap to underwear, she is now asking me to use the potty even when she is wearing a diaper, I just want the weather to warm up some so that I can leave her in less clothes without it feeling like a form of abuse. We will see. To have her in underwear before this baby arrives would be a blessing, indeed. She is also going to switch to her "big girl bed" sometime soon. Wish us luck. I keep picturing Luke and her having late night giggling escapades all over the house while I sleep soundly unaware of their hijinks. Another shift in the family dynamic is that Luke and Julia suddenly seem like twins, rather than being a year apart. After two years of Jules watching and doing every single thing that her brother does, suddenly I see him watching and mimicking her about equally. She is the ringleader as often as she is his willing tagalong. Its funny to hear them converse ~ their vocabulary is probably about the same at this point, and their lilting little singsong voices twittering back and forth as their little blond heads are right together as they work on something ~ A book, a puzzle, their blocks etc is like music to my ears. Deep breaths as the hope of spring starts to whisper in my ear........