Luke, at 5

You had your 5 year well visit yesterday, buddy. You continue to stay on the same growth curve, at 43 lb and 43 inches. Last year you were 40 and 40 ~ I picture you looking like a little circle of boy :). You are strong, and healthy, and thankfully free of any health or emotional problems at the moment.

At 5 you are kind hearted and extremely active bodied. You are the most innately generous kid I have ever seen ~ I don't know if this is related to having a sibling a mere 13 months younger, or just how you are wired ~ but you share everything. Everything. You can drive me a little crazy at times with the energy and the noise..........and I know that a huge part of that is just being in the house more than I would like due to the weather. Even if it has been unseasonably warm, we are in the house a lot more due to darkness and school. Summer is going to be great for us buddy, just great. You just finished your first basketball program and got your first trophy tonight, pics to follow. You are so proud of it ~ it is sleeping right next to your bed. You are good at sports, and I'm not just saying that as a braggy Mom, but your athleticism is obvious. You love to draw, and I am loving seeing your pictures get more elaborate as you include the entire family, trees, houses etc. Its like you are growing up right before my eyes. You still nap, which I love and appreciate and will forever be grateful to you for. 1-3 every day. Some days I think that you don't sleep and just play or read, but other days I'm up there waking you up at 3:30 or 4. You go to bed at 8, you come crawling into my bed at 6:40 where you snuggle down all warm and cozy with me until 7, when we get up. Sometimes I think of the darling and innocent toddler you were and my heart just aches, I want it to be that simple again, I want you to need me that much again......yet at the same time I savor the independent things that you can and do do. You love to help me around the house, every day you know that you are responsible for taking your dirty clothes to the laundry room, setting the table, and clearing your plate. You clean your room every few days. You love to help clean windows. You are an amazing eater ~ you down things like kale and salmon and spicy salsa with relish. I love watching you eat. You are so, so kind to your siblings. You set the tone in our home Luke, and I 100% credit you for creating a feeling of "team" amongst the Mangan kids. Jake and Julia adore you, and deservedly so.

I'm oh, oh so tired, but I wanted to get this written. It doesn't do you justice, buddy. You are a great kid, and easy kid, but most importantly, a kind kid. I love you.

Luke's kindergarden registration paperwork got filled out at his 5 year visit. I register him next week. Emotional.

5. Five. Cinco. Big.

Courtesy of Becca :)

A BIKE!

Remember this little guy? I do. I remember him like it was a hot second ago.

Luke's party at school.

Celebrating birthday eve as Nate had to travel that night and miss the actual birthday day.
Lukes birthday morning.......where some much needed pajamas produce extreme excitement.

Celebrating with a few friends on the actual birthday. Thank God for girlfriends, and their ability to keep me from (mostly) being a weepy mess.

I've been avoiding this post. I''ve been avoiding it because I want to make it special, and I don't seem to have the time to make anything special these days.

I guess I should first start off by saying that birthdays are hugely emotional things to me. They are NOT, however, hugely expensive and commercial and gifty things to me. I feel like one of the biggest challenges that parents of my generation face is keeping things in perspective........birthdays come every year. Kids are special every day. Every birthday, however, does not have to be some giant extravagant over the top spoil fest. This year is a biggie, 5 seems really big to me. It started with school ~ I love Luke's non fancy non super expensive but really kind pre school. I was invited to bring a special snack, and party bags for his classmates, and to celebrate his big day with him and his friends at school. Like I do with most things......I built this up into feeling like a giant pain, and in fact it was a giant joy. We had to make an "all about me" thing for Luke to present to his class. We made a poster board, with pictures, answering the questions. Here were Luke's responses.....

We had a photo of his family.

We had a photo of his home.

We had a photo of his favorite food (Hawaiian Pizza)

A photo of his favorite past time (Boardgames)

A photo of his favorite show (Scooby Doo)

A photo of what he wanted to be when he grew up (A Dentist?)

Things actually worked out exceptionally well with Nate being off on the Friday of Luke's party at school.....Nate was able to come. It was so much fun to see my boy be the honored kid, to see his friends learn more about him, and to see the awesome processes that their preschool embraces (community, kindness, and respect......not algebra or chinese like some preschools around here. Not that there is anything wrong with that, I just embrace things that work with my mental state.....I can't speak chinese and I don't want to pay 700/month for my kid to learn 5 words of it ). I have a wonderful amazing sister who made his "treats" that we were to bring in (homemade brownies, if you want to check out her awesome blog it is to be found here .)

Friday night Nate and I celebrated our anniversary feast style, and on Saturday we went and picked out Luke's birthday present, a bike.

Saturday night we snuck out for a date and met friends for dinner.......and Sunday had a great day at the gym and had a special birthday dinner with Nate as he was about to get on a plane to Cali for the beginning of his new job!

This morning was a little weird for me. I admit that Nate texted me at 2 or 3 in the morning to let me know that he had gotten to CA safely, and I couldn't get back to sleep. I picked up my computer and took a walk down memory lane.......thinking about being in labor.... about Luke in my belly, about our anxiety and unfathomable excitement as we waited (for a LONG) time to meet this first little bugger of ours. I was so emotionally weepy that I walked down to Luke's room, threw my arms around him, fell soundly asleep, and got to see his eyes open as a 5 year old for the first time. 5 is still lovely. 5 has a touch of morning breath, but a plethora of morning hugs and loves. 5 is still innocent and sweet. 5 is fabulous. He didn't remember it was his birthday, when he first woke. I had about 5 minutes where I simply got to love on my baby without any other expectations than just the fun and joy of loving one another on a sunny cold morning in a warm bed.

I had all of these visions of the morning (FU pinterest), involving balloons all over the stairs and special breakfast food.........and then reality and Nate being away set in. I wrote his card while he played with Jules, I threw some pajamas in a bag with tissue.....and he was THRILLED. I'm telling you, low expectations are the way to go. Sometimes I think that our culture pressures us to special things to death, to set this level of expectation that pretty much sucks for our kids.

Anyway.

Once Nate accepted this contract, and I realized that he was going to be out of town, I invited three girlfriends and their kids over for dinner. I didn't want to be crying into my cupcakes, missing my buddy, my other half, my husband. The plan worked out smashingly well, the kids had a great time, and I feel even more blessed than Luke might, tonight. I love my girlfriends.

Luke Dawg.. I love you. I love your kind heart. I love how much you love sports. I love your generosity. I love your adorable little muscular body that I just can't get enough of . I love your smiley eyes, and your dark lashes, and your funny double cowlick. I love the way you are the first to wake up, and at 7 come creeping into my room, where I life the duvet, and you put your warm little body up against mine for another 30 minutes. I love the way you can't lie, even when you try. I love your kind heart. I love the way you forgive me when I am an impatient jerk.

Thank you for being EXACTLY who you are. I have no idea how I got you (okay, I do, you are your Daddies sweet boy), but I could not love you more. Happy 5, hot guy. Thanks for making me a Mama :)