Girlz.

I've got nothin on the picture front, so I am dipping into the archives.

This was my Jules and I on her first birthday, and is one of my favorite pictures of my sweet girl. What a fun day that was.

I was away from the kids this weekend ~ enjoying time with some of my girlfriends down in Cape May.

It was the first time that I have been away from the kids (without Nate) since giving birth to Luke some 31+ months ago (but who's counting? :)) I can joyously say that Nate did a fantastic job with the kids and allowed me to enjoy my time with my friends with nary a panicked call. I was both proud and grateful. It is so nice to have a husband who is such a great father, and who takes his job of Dad very seriously. The grapevine tells it that he put the kids in some rather strange outfits (Jules was rumored to be a pink on pink pepto~ish wonder on Saturday), but that goes with the territory. Thank you, Nate, for treating the kids to a great weekend with their Dad while Mom got a chance to relax and recharge.

I know that I have talked about it before in my blog, but the value of my girlfriends is unable to be quantified. I honestly don't know what I would do without the input and support and advice and kindness and empathy of my friends. I feel quite certain that I would not be as confident or as happy of a Mama as I am without them. Being able to share our struggles, share our joys, and share our experiences is just such a blessing to me. I feel so lucky to know and to love their children, and to see them know and love my kids. I love the fact that we all have our slight differences in how we parent, yet have total respect for one another and recognize that we are each doing our very best to raise these young people who we love so much. My friends teach me so much.

Motherhood is HARD, folks. Yes it is natural, and yes it is the source of the greatest joy I have ever known, and no I would not trade it for the world ~ But it is HARD work. It is heart wrenching, it is scary, it is exhausting, it is humbling. And to have a league of people just one short phone call away ~ people who are going through the very same thing, is invaluable. To be able to confess that some nights I cry when I am saying Luke's prayers as I pray to be a better Mama tomorrow, and to hear that every.single.one of my friends does the same thing is so infinitely liberating. To get the "true Mama confessional" phone calls every other day or so makes me know that I am so not alone in always wondering if I am failing in some way. (FYI the true mama confessional calls begin something like this~

"My husband just walked in the door and I handed off the kids and I am going shopping for underwear and I am going to take three hours just to make sure that they are asleep before I get home so that I don't lose my mind"

Or~

"Today I don't like one of my children. I did like them this morning. But then they put a stuffed animal down the toilet, resulting in a several hundred dollar plumber visit, and then they colored on the dog and I feel like a failure because I feel as though I have yelled at them all day long".

And.... we laugh. We talk about it, and we laugh. We commiserate. I make the same calls too. We need the support, the mutual understanding, the forgiveness that only another Mother facing the same challenges can offer. Thank you to the friends who shared this past weekend with me, and to all who didn't. Thank you to my far away friends, my friends with older kids, and younger kids, and those whose blogs I laugh and cry at. Thank you all for helping guide me along this crazy ride called Motherhood. Thank you for allowing me to share your joys and sorrows, and for bearing mine as well. I am proud to call all of you my friends. My life is so much the better for each of you and your place in it.

(It was so very great to get away............and so very great to come home. My children never smelled as good as they did after 2 days away from them. Positively edible. I think that I took off a layer of skin with my homecoming kisses)

For Nate, Day 10

Today is day 10 of Nate being away from the kids. I believe that that is twice as long as he has ever been apart from them. They miss him. Every time Jules sees a pic of him she says "Hi Dada!" and starts doing her little hyperventilating laugh, and every morning when Luke talks to him on the phone he signs off with "Bye bye Dada, Love you Dada". The pics are from this morning. We were outside and playing (i.e not inside driving one another crazy) by 8 am. Jules now knows where her ears, eyes, nose and mouth are. Her vocabulary is ridiculous. I don't know if its a boy vs. girl thing, or just a Luke vs. Jules thing, but I honestly don't believe that Luke was speaking like her even at 18 months, and she is only 13 months. She will entertain herself "reading" a book, leafing through the pages (oftentimes upside down) and babbling incoherently away. Luke is TOTALLY ADVANCED, like, GIFTED at using the word NO lately :/ . I don't know where this came from (or how the heck to make it stop, NOW) but I really really hate the NO thing. It seems to be the first thing he says, to most anything I say. We always get through it, but the extra time/conversation around every.single.thing is honestly simply exhausting. I can't wait for Nate to get home, simply to deflect some of the "NO's" away from me.

Playgroup was at our house today. The above is a few of the kids playing "Ring around the Rosie". Hilarity ensued.

I feel so lucky to have my playgroup. We have been together since our kids were 8 weeks old or so, though many of us met when our babies were but a few days old at the nursing Moms support group that we went to. Who would have known two years ago what a huge part of my life these ladies, and their sweet babies would become. From the days where we sat around talking about our birth stories while our babies nursed or lay prone and unmoving on blankets on the floor, until now, these girls have become a great resource to me ~ both in knowledge and in simple encouragement. Its HARD being a Mom. Sleepless nights are HARD. The worry and fear are HARD. Toddlers are REALLY hard. Just being able to confess my frustrations, or fears, or how a sweet little cuddly two year old can honestly inspire feelings of rage, is so freeing. Its amazing how though we all have different kids, with different strengths or weaknesses or challenges, we all experience the same feelings as Mothers. We have moved from birth stories and immobile newborns, through solids, through immunizations, through weaning, through nap transitions, through crib/bed transitions, through discipline, through vacations, through lots of laughs, and lots of tears, through many second children and here we are today, with kids who sing songs, play together, and know one another as true FRIENDS. I am grateful to share this journey through Motherhood with such fantastic women, and phenominal Mothers.

Nate, come home soon. I'm tired :)

PS ~ Nate ~ See the grass in the background? ITS GREEN! IT'S REALLY GREEN!

The world upright

So Nate is home from his trip to Europe. I survived a week alone with sick kids while sick myself, and Nate seems to have survived a grueling week of work.

All sarcasm aside:

Luke is officially 21 months old and Jules will be 8 months old tomorrow! Now that Nate is home life seems relatively easy (relatively). 21 months of age is like a cyclone ~ always moving, always touching, always climbing, always testing. When we have man to man on the two of them, life is good. When its me and the two of them I can say with confidence that this is the hardest stage for me yet in the whole "mother of two" gig.

Jules has gone through an identity shift. She is no longer "she who crawls on all fours", but "She who stands on two legs". It's a huge change. People make such a big deal out of crawling.....worrying about when their baby is going to crawl and comparing them to others, but I can say that for me, the biggest shift is the whole standing and cruising thing. It's not so much that MY life changes, her mobility/crawling changed MY life. But this whole standing and cruising thing changes HER life a lot. It's amazing to watch a child who three weeks ago had no concept of "the life upright" suddenly scorn the life of all fours. Anywhere she goes, she looks up. Anything she encounters, she tries to climb. Seeing her standing at the kitchen chairs/table/coffee table/couch/toys/steps/my leg etc with this look of utter joy and pride upon her face makes me happy. I can say that she entered this stage much differently than Luke did. For Luke, he crashed into this phase crazy early, and crazy hard. It was like his body was mandating that he do things that his brain was not yet capable of comprehending. It was bruise-a-poluzza 2007 last fall for Luke. Not so with Jules. She is careful, she has foresight, she has yet to go face first into anything. I am grateful for that. I try not to gender stereotype my kids. However.....if I was to dip my toes into the world of gender stereotyping, I would tell you without doubt that Luke did things bravely at this age, and Jules does them wisely. Interpret that as you will.

Luke is hilarious right now (except for the few moments every day where he is flat out gouge-my-eyeballs-with-a-fork-annoying, that is). Language has suddenly come alive to him in a new way. He is stringing words together in ever growing combinations and variety. I'm loving that, and shamelessly say that I enjoy the parroting thing for two reasons,

1. It reminds me to mind my language, which does not always come naturally to me.

2. It enables me to shamelessly enjoy teaching him new phrases. Right now the ones at the

top of the list are "Ma Ma's COOOOOOL", (yes, I taught him that!) "Heeeeeeeeeeey

Jules!" "Mom Mom and Pop Pop" "Ma Ma Da Da Jules" and Cock-a-doodle-doo just

makes me laugh every single time he says it.

He has also learned to cover his mouth when he coughs (and he is so proud of this new found skill that he often fake coughs just to show it off), and to blow his nose. Boy genius he is not, but only a mother can appreciate the singular joy of a child who actually stands still for and actively participates in the act of snot-clearing-out. I can also say without a moment of hesitation that Luke is exceedingly kind to his little sister. He kisses her all day long. He shares with her (Frequently to the point of annoyance ~ Jules and the dog flank the highchair these days with equal fervor ~ staring up at King Luke begging and pleading for him to bestow his sweet scraps upon them). He will go over to her and make her laugh many, many times a day. When he is tired he puts his thumb in his mouth and cuddles up next to her. Those moments melt me.

Tomorrow is playgroup at our house again, and luckily all of the sick seems to have cleared out of our home over the weekend. Winter is also upon us, it seems, as it actually snowed today in PA for all of 10 minutes. Dork that I am I made the kids go outside and I got excited enough for all three of us. Jules just drooled and Luke just was focused on pushing his Kettrike down the hill and belly laughing as it crashed topsy turvy into the blackberry bushes.

Rock on, Luke

Luke at playgroup yesterday.

Thank God for my playgroup. We have just a great group of supportive, funny, smart, non competitive, informed and thoughtful Mamas, who all happen to have extremely sweet little kids born right around the same time as Luke. Its one of the things that I most look forward to going to every week. I just got the sad news that one of our original playgroup Mama's and one of Luke's very first buddies (they "met" when Luke was just 16 days old at our Nursing Mama's group) is moving.

You know who you are my friend, and you, and your son will be missed so very much.

The 4th Quarter

Everyone always talks about pregnancy in terms of trimesters, but lately I have been thinking that its really more like a basketball game, with 4 quarters. Your first 10 weeks have the initial excitement of the tip off, and then not much happens (From the fan's perspective, anyway). The huge point swings mirror the Mom to be's huge emotional swings, but don't really matter much, things tend to even out over time. The second quarter (weeks 10-20)things start to heat up a little, and just like that last important momentum shift before halftime, you generally have the excitement of your 20 week ultrasound to keep you horribly anxious and excited. Then comes the third quarter, weeks 20-30, the action is heating up, baby is moving all over, and you start to feel (and look!) big. People tune in more.

Then. The 4th quarter. I am in week 31 now, and things are starting to move fast. This baby is coming really soon. The action starts to really matter. You move to biweekly, then weekly appointments, much like the frequent time outs. No one is changing the channel anymore. This lasts until about 37/8 weeks or so, then it becomes EXACTLY like the last two minutes of a basketball game. Waking up each day thinking "gosh, today could be the day"....getting calls from the anxious "fans" as to whether or not anything is happening, enjoying those last few moments when your baby is truly still all "yours" tucked away in there in your belly, but really really feeling ready to meet them on the other side. Like the last 2 min of the game, with all of its fouls and timeouts and TV breaks, those last two weeks can seemingly last forever.

I have to say, I have noticed that the average person really WANTS pregnant women to complain. I cant even believe how socially accepted, even ENCOURAGED it is for a pregnant woman to moan her way through her pregnancy. Yes, your hips hurt. Yes, you have heartburn, and the baby moves a lot, and those little hiccups that used to be so endearing are suddenly not so when its 3 am and your belly is hiccuping with all the weight of a several pound baby. And YES! you are huge and your self confidence is shaky as you look in the mirror and think "who is that beast?" ~ But you know what? Theres a PERSON in there! Of COURSE its a little uncomfortable! You are experiencing literally the greatest miracle of life, in my opinion.

Consider this my vent about the fact that I feel great, and even when I tell people that, its almost like they don't want to hear it. "just you wait".....is something I hear a lot. Well, I have been there, and done that, and I know whats coming. And you know what, I still feel great. And to anyone else out there who is able to enjoy your pregnancy ~ MORE POWER TO YOU MAMA!

Playgroup today ~ cant wait :)

Little Lothario

Luke and I had a busy day yesterday. We had an awesome Halloween Playgroup, all of the kids were (at least briefly :) in costume. The pic of Luke giving me one of his trademark kisses above was taken by Laura at Playgroup. Luke loves ladies. He was caught red handed planting one on Stella, Marie, Gabriella, and Nathan. Not sure how Nathan slipped into that group, but Luke sure does love his buddy Nathan. There were monkies, a ladybug, Princess Leah (!), bumblebees, Cowboys, etc etc. The food was RIDICULOUS in both quality and quantity(I had 2 reeses pieces rice crispy treats before noon) and it was a great time at Laura's house. I didnt want to leave, but by 2 PM my little love bug was rubbing his eyes. We got home and both went straight to bed, Luke for a nap, me with an an attempt to sleep off my food hangover........
We woke up around 4 and Mom Mom and Grandpop got to the house bearing gifts ~ we went straight up to the park for a swing and Lukes first unassisted flight down a sliding board. Grandpop took him up to the top of one of those tube slide thingys and down the chute he went. His eyes were huge. As soon as he got to the bottom he turned around to look at Grandpop up top.....which of course we all took to mean "I want to go again!" So again and again he went. We had a great dinner courtesy of Carlinos, then Mom Mom and Grandpop said their goodbyes to go home to attend to their coming hoarde of trick or treaters. After the party last week and the playgroup today, we were pretty much Halloweened out, so we got Luke into his pajamas, and he helped us greet the earlybird kids before conking out at 7 pm. A great first Halloween for the kid.

Other Children Are the Devil

And so is my Dog.

I'm just kidding on the other children part, but I will say that large herds of children and the germs they carry certainly seem to do the work of the devil. We had a great playgroup yesterday....here is a pic of Luke, Ryan and Stella playing away and swapping lots of spitty little germs. Luke got to see all of his buddies while I got to have a fantastic lunch and chat with my girlfriends. No one was sick at playgroup, but by 6PM Luke was DRUNK TIRED, I could not even get him to stay awake long enough to get all of his food into him. I finally gave up trying, and just let him go to bed at 6. He was out like a light immediately. Highly unusual, to say the least. I knew something was coming. He was up twice last night, also unusual, and clearly had a fever the second time. By morning, it was at 102. Blast. We were supposed to go to bible study at 9 AM, then over to my friend Jennifer's for lunch after that.....but instead we changed back into our pajamas, made up some oatmeal, and hunkered down for a day in. Luke is sleeping, I am in my sweatpants lingering over coffee and using the computer as my excuse to not do some of the things that I should do. I got a HUGE stack of pictures yesterday from Snapfish, so I really need to get to work on the ole' family photo album. Combine that with the Halloween costume making that I did on Tuesday with my Mom, cleaning up for showings all week, food shopping, cooking, and its been quite a domesticated week for me! Huzzah. Playgroup is just so much fun nowadays ~ Its just crazy to see how far these babies have come since we started it ~ Luke was maybe 10 weeks old at that point, and they were little more than cute little moray eels that hung off of our chests nursing all the time while we chatted about deliveries, the babies weight gain, us being fat, and nursing issues......now they are almost all mobile, climbing steps, standing up, chattering and bopping one another in the head gleefully. It's just so much fun to get to watch Luke interact with other kids....and when he looks up and catches my eye and gives me a smile like the one in the pic above, it absolutely melts me.

Onto the dog. On Tuesday we had a showing at 1. I had to go to the fabric store before hand to get fabric to make Luke's Halloween costume with. That took WAY long, the store had relocated, so simply finding it was a frustrating and annoying adventure. Then Luke decided to take a giant blowout poop right before we were to enter the store....back to the car, parking lot diaper change....then a spit up all over me and the interior of the car......Note ~ Don't even bother going into a fabric mega store when already frustrated, annoyed, and behind schedule. I was sweating, balancing Luke on my baby bump, holding mad tall bolts of fabric in my arms, and generally wondering what the heck my problem was ~ All I could think about was how my Mom raised 3 of us, was always homeroom Mom, was always making costumes or clothes by hand, and baking, and taking care of sick friends, and making things for people etc etc etc.....and here I was, unable to find the fabric store and buy fabric with just one baby. Did she have more hours in her day? Or am I just totally inept? Anyway. I digress.

Finally got out of there.

Raced home because I had to pick up the Dog ~ God knows Captain Excitement can't be at the house during a showing ~ him and his "Wheaten Greetin'" would ensure that the people did not buy the house. Got him and went straight over to my Moms house. Fed LUke lunch, and decided that as it was such a beautiful day we should get outside and play in the grass for a bit. I am trying to love the Dog again, so I wanted to play some fetch, and have some fun with him and the baby. I took some pics (above), threw some sticks, and generally was just having one of those lovely Hallmark moments with the boys. In the last pic you see Luke crawling over towards Mully, who is laying in the grass. In the very next moment, Mulligan started rolling in Ecstasy in the grass, gleefully grinding himself into the ground......My heart sank as I instantly knew what was happening. He had either found something dead, or the poop of some creature, and was rolling in it in unabashed delight.

I freaked. Ran over. Sure enough, my shaggy dog was panting with deer-poop-induced lust ~ COVERED in it.

I started crying. It was nap time, but I knew that I had no choice but to deal with this immediately. He could not come in the house that way, and I could not leave him outside to continue to get more disgusting. With no real choice, I went into action.

1. Called Nate while crying. Told Nate that I was either going to kick, or give away the Dog. Asked him if he had a preference. Nate asked me to please not do either, but he was up in Boston and in the airport so he could not really talk. Hung up. Cried some more, told Mully that I really didn't like him, and generally felt sorry for myself.
2. Call the Dog Groomer, see if I could get Mully in for an immediate appointment. No, said the dog groomer, not till next Friday. Heart sank. Could not leave shit-encrusted Dog in that condition for a week.
3. Fake-kicked the Dog (Just to make myself feel better), and asked him to please run away wile I was inside setting up his bath. Please.
4. Ran inside, stole shampoo from upstairs, cleared out items from the dog shower in the mud room at my parents house.
5. Got quaking stinking dog into mud room.
6. Turned on shower. Lathered up Dog. Shamed him into standing still.
7. Dealt with baby. I would put Luke at one end of the mudroom, and RUN back to the dog shower to lather feverishly while watching Luke crawl as fast as he could towards us. Let Luke get right up to the edge of the wet, soapy, shitty mess, and then scoop him up, put him back at the far end of the room, run back to the dog, and repeat. Over and over and over. I was sweating, and wet, and smelly, and just PISSED.

Luke missed his nap and was relatively cranky for the rest of the day. I missed Luke's nap, and was relatively cranky for the rest of the day. Mully is still unsure of what his position in the household is, but he knows that he is low low low on the totem pole at the moment.

After tossing and turning that night, thinking about my literally poopy day, I came up with "Operation Mulligan".
Mully is a part of our family. I have been frustrated with him, and complaining about him, but not doing a whole lot to really make the situation better. Nate comes home tonight, and we are formally laying out the plan for "Operation Like Mulligan".
It involves a daily commitment to long walks and/or trips to the dog park, and a concerted dual effort to improve his behavior when people come over. Keep your fingers crossed for us.

(P.S, is "poopy" not a word??? Spellcheck says that it isn't. In my world, it is)

Screech

So Luke is learning the power of his voice. The SCREECH is the newest addition to hie repertoire of noises. Sometimes used in annoyance, and sometimes in joy, he is suddenly tossing it into his routine several times a day. Its very cute, like, once. Maybe even three times. After that I wish I could "un-learn" him of it. Part of me is starting to wonder if I am creating this ~ thinking back over our past couple of weeks I have realized that Nate has been away a lot. When he is away, Luke spends every moment of his day with Mom, shopping, running errands, talking walks, and spending LOTS of time with other women. Just this week he had lunch on Monday with Colleen, Jen and Maryanne, Playgroup with about 10 girls on Tues, Dinner with Dee, Lunch with Joanne and Colleen H on Wed....today we hit up nursing group (about 40 women) and Mom Mom's ~ then tomorrow lunch with Jeannie. Each day he has also been to the gym, where about 10 female daycare girls fawn over him while I am working out. Perhaps his little man screech is simply a revolt against all of the female voices constantly clattering on around him? His own little version of "hear me roar"? I doubt it, but its fun to think about. He even spent an hour at the salon yesterday while I got my haircut. My intent was to hold him, but he was liberally passed around amongst the stylists. The life of Luke. Lotsa women. Maybe Nate will have to take him to Hooters, or a monster truck thing (What DO monster trucks DO anyhow? Race, Rally? Something?) over the weekend to restore some balance. You know, now that my mind has wandered down this road, I have a perfect solution!!! We are going to Stroudsburg this weekend ~ Nate could simply take Luke GOLFING. Check this story out

http://www.newsday.com/news/nationworld/nation/all-mailbox-wyv84g5-j7sx1-j1jrl-j.5915729jun27,0,2979756.story

~~~Now THAT would get the critter back in the swing, so to speak. Sheesh.
One quick mention of the life of Mulligan. I accidentally shamed my Dog into doing something disgusting yesterday. I woke up early to come downstairs and get the coffee going.....as I was walking to the steps I spied a pile of dog throw up on the bathroom floor. I said "Jeez Mulligan, are you KIDDING ME?" and looked back at the dog, who was standing at the door to our bedroom. (Yes, that was edited for language :)) Mully looked ashamed, and I thought no more of it. Went to make the coffee, got paper towels and some sort of dog vomit appropriate cleaner, and came back up to face the task at hand. Mulligan was sitting on the steps waiting for me, sheepishly wagging his tail. I patted him on the head, and went into the bathroom, and stopped dead in my tracks. The aforementioned "issue" was gone. Totally gone. Apparently my disgust somehow shamed the poor creature into taking it upon himself to clean up the offending pile. I gagged, went back to bed to cuddle with Luke, and made a pointed effort to steer clear of his mouth and beard for the rest of the day. Ugh. I do love my dog, but sometimes they are just such............dogs.

Urban Warrior

So the little critter spent Sunday in downtown Philly for the first time. We walked all around the Irish Festival at Penn's Landing, Society Hill, and Old City. He saw Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell for the first time. The whole "birthplace of democracy" thing didn't really seem to impress him at this juncture. Luke was a perfect gentlemen as we trolled him all around town. He could not possibly have been more enjoyable. He kicked back in the stroller, played and smiled all throughout lunch, and was generally just an absolute joy. Being a family is so much fun.

Some new things in Luke's life ~ Belly Laughs, and Antibiotics. Sheesh. The ear infection had not totally cleared up, so the Dr got him started on Amoxicillian on Monday. He also got his shots, which he took like a trooper ~ Nate held Luke and he stopped crying in less than a minute, and I wore my "big girl pants" and didn't even shed a tear this time.....The medicine is that same viscous, neon pink stuff that I remember from my childhood. Of course I had to taste it, and honestly, tasting it took me right back to being a 5 year old in the kitchen of our old house, with an ear infection. How the heck did I get from there to here so quickly? I have to give him an entire teaspoon via syringe.......doesn't sound like much, right? Lets just say that I have already learned how much a teaspoon really is. It looks like a WHOLE LOT when its all over the sheets, and baby, and both of our clothes. I now administer the medicine ONLY after I have stripped the little guy naked and placed him on a towel. He is so easy going, he really doesn't pitch a fit or anything, he just reaches a point where instead of swallowing it DOWN, he spits it UP. He has the most puzzled look on his face while its happening ~ not upset, just utterly puzzled. There is nothing quite like watching a fountain of neon pink magma flow up out of your child and down into the black hole of his neck folds. Sticky does not even begin to describe the aftermath.

The belly laughs started on Saturday night ~ Nate was holding him and when he started making a funny noise Luke started flat out belly laughing, his whole little body was shaking as he cracked up, over and over. He laughed, we laughed, he laughed etc etc......had a stranger been standing in the room we would have looked like a bunch of residents of the psych ward. You know, the happy kind of crazies. One of these days I am going to have to learn how to download from the video camera to my computer, so that I can link you all to the video of this stuff, its priceless.

After the Dr's appointment I took Luke to get his passport pictures. Lookout Italy...... here comes the Mangan family circus. We booked our flights and are going to be in Italy for 10 days in October. Nate filled out Luke's passport documents, it was so funny listing his height as 2 feet 1 inch! It suddenly feels so real, and I am so excited! I am so glad that we are bringing Luke with us. We bought him his own seat on the plane, and got direct flights, but if anyone out there has other tips for travelling internationally with an 8 month old please let me know!

We had playgroup yesterday at our house. There were 10 of us total. We started out here, and then spent about 2 hours at the park on the corner. Luke and Nathan were laying on a blanket on the ground, and at one point Nathan was sucking Luke's thumb. It was so funny, it seemed as though they were really interacting and playing, rather than each being in their own world. No one seems to have told Luke that he is only 4 months old, and the child is trying to crawl. He scrunches is legs up under him, but he does not seem to grasp the whole arm part yet, so its a bit of a tripod effect, two legs under him, with his face on the ground, Its pretty funny to watch. He looks a bit like a wheelbarrow. He just woke up ~ so off I go.

Mom Mistakes

So at playgroup last week we were commiserating about mistakes we have all made as Moms, or ways that other people make us feel as though we don't know what is going on with our own baby (i.e the relative who constantly says "I think that baby is hungry" ~ all the time, even if its moments after you finished nursing them). Luckily I don't have to deal with the bossy relative thing at all, but the mistake part made me laugh out loud thinking of something that I did when Luke was maybe 7 or 8 weeks old. It was one of those first lovely spring days, sunny and warm. Luke was at the point where he had the head control to face out in the Bjorn. I decided to take Mulligan and the baby and head out for a walk. I got Luke into the Bjorn, grabbed the leash, and headed out. Birds were singing, the trees were really just coming into full leaf, and it was a positively lovely day. I was out with my boys, my son and my dog, and all was right with the world. I loved the sweet glances of strangers, the looks, the smiles. Everybody loves a little baby, and they attract a lot of attention as you are out and about. I just remember feeling so put together, so happy, large and in charge. Me and my newborn taking on the world.
We eventually wandered up to Gay St, the heart of town. So many people were looking at the baby, looking at the Dog, smiling at me. I felt like the Mayor or something.
As we walked by Iron Hill there were lots of people outside eating at the sidewalk tables. One woman looked at me and said "Oh, sweetie, one of his legs is stuck inside the Bjorn ~ I'm not trying to butt in but I'm a Mom too and have had the same thing happen ~ I just wanted you to know"..........
I turned and looked at our reflection in the windows, and sure enough ~ there it was ~ me and my one legged baby, stumpy. Luke seemed totally unfazed by it, but I know I got red in the face. I just had to start laughing as I finagled his leg out of the hole into its proper place, hanging next to the other leg. All of those sweet glances that I got were probably people thinking "Wow, look at that Mom and that one legged baby! She seems so happy even though that cute baby only has one leg!! Good for them!!!"
It still makes me laugh thinking about it. Proud Mama and Stumpy, her kid.

If I ever see a Mom with a baby stuck in his Bjorn incorrectly, I will help her out. I've been there.

Playgroup Ponderings

So I have one session of playgroup under my belt. How is it that I got to be old enough to have a kid who playgroup's??? I feel like it was just yesterday that my Mom was having all of the neighborhood mom's over to our house for playgroup down in the basement. I remember that Becca was a biter, it was quite the playgroup scandal. I am happy to say that she did eventually grow out of that. Perhaps I have picked up where she left off? When words fail me I find myself resorting to biting lately. More on that in a moment.

I am thrilled to say that I really enjoyed it. There were 6 of us, the babies ranged from 8 months down to 9 weeks. There was none of the competitive mom bullshit that I so dread and the eats were good. Luke was a little charmer as usual. I had no choice but to bite him mid-playgroup......something about him laying on a blanket on the floor just waving his arms and legs and "talking" up at me in spazms of delight was simply too much for me ~ I had no other appropriate response but to scoop the kid up in my arms and bite him silly. Its too endearing. Emotional overload. His grins instantly twist my heart into this CRAMP, no one ever told me that happy love could actually hurt. Luke has started to seemingly live for the sound of his own voice. He does a whole operetta ~ a gurgling gargling study on the letter "G". His little legs kick up in the air to help him hit the high notes. I watch this for hours. Nate got some of it on videotape down at the beach as Luke was singing a love song to the ceiling fan. The fan seemed nonplussed by the whole thing, but Luke's determination never faltered. He is hell bent on wooing that fan.

His newest way of wrapping me around his finger involves pulling off the nip while nursing to look up at me with a giant grin. As soon as I make eye contact with him while he is eating BAM comes the grin. Again, too much. I have to pick him up and bury my face in his smelly little neck in utter disbelief that this sweet little creature is really my SON. This morning we had a little mutual admiration love fest in my bed. Luke was looking fine in his best white trash onesie, I hadnt even buttoned all of the crotch snaps, so his diaper was bulging out (not a great look). I made him laugh, he made me laugh, so forth and so on. I leaned in for a giant kiss ~ just as his mouth suddenly turned into the wellspring of a chunky breastmilk/stomach stuff stew ~ it literally just guysered out of his mouth and down both sides of his face into his aforementioned stink neck. Missed my mouth by a hair. Nate would have absolutely joined in had he witnessed such an event. It was disgust-o. That ended the love fest session.

So this is my first foray into the wonderful world of blogging. This is really meant more to be a journal of sorts ~ someplace to jot down Luke's little milestones and the details of his infancy. I guess it is also a place to remember all the milestones that I experience as a mom........like the way I have learned to pump while sitting at my computer (if I lean in to the desk I can pump and still type with both hands~ VICTORY!) or how I got through being sick and having a sick baby this past weekend. At the moment I feel as though I will remember every single detail, but I know that in time it will all get fuzzy.

This past weekend was Memorial Day. We headed down to Cape May Thursday around noon. I woke up that morning feeling a cold coming on, and by the time we left I was already full throttle with a runny nose and cough. Joy Joy. Nothing like a cold to get you in the beach mood! The weather was absolutely beautiful, sunny and warm, as it continued to be all weekend. We got the baby all settled in, he loved his new crib, and especially its positioning as it allowed him a fantastic view of one of his favorite things......the ceiling fan. Who would have thought that a fan could provide such hours of entertainment.....Luke stares at it and "talks" to it for long stretches at a time. He also seemed to love the way that the slats of the crib felt against his feet ~ no bumpers there to block the sensation of the bumpy wood against his bare feet. We took a long walk and came home to a wonderful dinner of swordfish and clams on the grill. It was nice to have some time with Mom and Dad before everyone got there. We got to get the baby settled in and relax a bit before the weekend really took off. He slept great that night right next to us in his crib.
Friday was spent on the beach. Luke was a trooper, playing along with putting his feet in the cold ocean water and feeling the sand between his toes. He didn't seem too bothered OR excited by any of it. We got some great pictures, and I simply wanted to eat him up in his CUTE little bathing suit. The hat was critical in keeping him shielded from the sun, and he showed no reaction to the sunscreen that I put on him. We read books and did a lot of cuddling in between his naps in the jogging stroller. Everyone rolled in on Friday night, and of course we had STUMPOS for dinner. Luke woke up around 3.30 to eat and I could instantly tell that my cold had hit him, he sounded like Nate snoring as he tried to breath. My heart sank. I felt so guilty knowing that I had given this to him! He went back to sleep but slept fitfully until dawn or so. I didn't get much sleep from 3.30 on as I was worried about him. That day he was clearly sick, but did not have a fever, so we again took him to the beach. Nate and I went to get lunch at Akroteria with Luke around 1 , and it was so hot that we started to feel guilty having him out. We walked him home. Poor kid was not able to sleep, so he was getting cranky and frustrated. Nate held him while I took a shower, and then we tried hard to get him to sleep. The issue was that with such a congested nose it was hard for him to sleep on his back. Nate went back to the beach and Luke and I spent the afternoon at home. That night he woke up around 10.30 with a fever of 100,7. I felt awful, and worried, and nervous. It was a long night. I got no sleep. Mom heard us up with Luke, and came down around 4 to find me crying, the baby crying, and a sleepy Nate equally frustrated and helpless. Mom took charge, sending Nate and I to bed to get some sleep and taking Luke from us. I went to bed crying with a bizarre mixture of relief and guilt. I knew that I needed sleep to help the baby, but I felt as though I was abandoning him. I woke up at 5.30 to find both Luke and Mom racked out on the couch. I was tempted to wake Mom and send her back to bed, but in all honesty they looked rather peaceful, so I left well enough alone and went back to bed. I repeated this at 6.30 with the same result. I finally woke for the day around 7.30, tired and worried about Luke. His fever had gone down to 99.5 but was still there. His little eyes were runny and he seemed beat. He also hadn't pooped in 6 days, despite our best efforts with the previously magic apple juice bottle trick. Poor guy. He was like a train wreck, a ticking poop laden time bomb with snot running down his face and a tired sick mother. Everyone gave him lots of cuddles, and eventually Jamie danced him to sleep. A dose of Tylenol and a call to the Dr put my mind at ease.........and by noon he was like a different kid already. Nate went out fishing, we went to the beach, and we had a great time. Luke slept a LOT, and his fever went away entirely. I was so grateful and was really able to enjoy my last day on the beach. That night we had a FANTASTIC feast of lasagna and all of the appropriate peripherals, then the whole gang walked to Charlies. We gave Luke a dab of ice cream and he didn't quite know what to make of it. In all honesty he seemed to prefer the soggy, spit up soaked baby bjorn, which he chewed on with a gusto. Mom and Dad found baby sunglasses that Velcro around the babies head, and bought them for Luke along with an adorable seersucker outfit and hat (how did my tiny baby get to be wearing 6-12 month clothes already at 14 weeks????)....We put the sunglasses on Luke and he immediately went into the most convincing Stevie Wonder imitation I have ever seen. He started turning his head back and forth over and over ~ it was HILARIOUS. My stomach hurt from laughing.
We headed home on Monday morning and went to a Bar B Que later that day at Chris and Laura's. Nate left this morning for FL so it is just me and the kid until late Thursday night. I have a MOUNTAIN of housework to do, and am sitting here hoping to avoid it for as long as possible. Luke is napping upstairs in the swing. Today is our first venture into the wide world of Playgroup. Yes, playgroup. I am now a mom who "playgroup's". Laura from my titty club is starting it. I will know her, Erin and Beth Lee, and there will be about 7 other girls there. I am really looking forward to getting to know other women with little's Luke's age and hope to make some good friends out of it. Will update as to how it goes later.

Okay, I am officially on the blogging board. And I am boring already!