Sparkly fun.

Little Santa boy samples the appetizers while gracing the craft table with his presence.

A sullen Jules refusing to let me take photos of her glitter encrusted hands at the Nova party.

Dinner.

Attempt and fail at a Santa photo. Really miss my camera. Need Santa to send me one. iPhone no good at making humans look like humans, instead of demons, when flash is required.

Great weekend. Too much fun. Many wardrobe malfunctions, but we had a great time at every event. Daddies are so wonderful, but don't really know much about kids and glitter. My kids sweet Dad took off the lids of the glitter for them.............and soon learned that that was not a wise decision. I'm still sparkling.

First Haircut!

The mullet. This does not adequately capture the one lovely curl that he had, but he had one. I have proof, as I am the dorky overly sentimental Mom who saves their first haircut hair. My Mom did the same, and I know that there is no purpose to it, but I admit that I have looked at my first haircut hair several times over the past 30 or so years. So, its in an envelope. He will probably never have another curl, but I have definitive proof that he did, indeed, have one at one point.

Post haircut, so grown up!

He just looks like such a big boy to me now! I love it!

With holiday extravanganzapoluzza upon us, I decided that it was time to bid adieu to Jake's mullet. I admit that I don't like baby mullets, and we were getting to that point. So, on a whim, I gave him his first cut on Friday morning. Ever the perfect gentleman he sat perfectly still and enjoyed his first trim on the kitchen floor. He looks like a little man!

I thought I might be sad about my "baby" looking less like a baby....but have to admit that I find myself way less sentimental about all of this growing up stuff than I thought I might be. I'm glad. (Although, don't get me started about my reaction walking into Luke's soon to be Kindergarten, or how emotional I was watching his pre-K Christmas program). For some reason seeing Luke hit his big kid milestones is more emotionally difficult for me than watching Jake do the same, and I completely thought that it would be the opposite. Anyway, introducing the new big man Jake!

An apology to the universe.

Story hour at the kids soon to be school. I discovered that the WCASD has a preschool link for Mom's of kids heading to our local public school. I signed us up for a story hour at Fern Hill Elementary, which is where Luke will (*Gasp, Sob*) go next year. I know that you can't see it in this picture, but my dynamic duo was holding hands when I took this. It was so much fun to be out on a random Thursday night while smalls slept and Nate studied at home.

The early part of the evening. We mixed up the dough and let it chill while we all took a shower and then I put an exhausted Jake to bed at 6:30. I admit to having lots of "WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING" thoughts during this portion of the evening.

It got better, way better, this is my post shower pajamed kids rolling out the cookies. Jake was blissfully asleep, christmas music was playing courtesy of Pandora, and things were looking up.

They were a seriously huge help. They rolled the cookie balls, placed the mint M&M's, and sprinkled the sprinkles. We banged out 120 cookies in an hour or so. It was awesome, and fun, and we had great conversation.

The finished product.

I am stressed, and half of it is unfounded. I admit to being the queen of undue stress. Not proud. I just like to overthink and overplan things to the point of personal stomach aches.

Today was one of those days (again). Wake up, kiss Nate goodbye after barely saying hello as he has been away or studying all week (an end IS in sight, really really in sight!), pack the bigs lunch, make coffee, empty the dishwasher, make breakfast, clean breakfast, nurse the baby, do laundry, chug coffee, get em all dressed, get to school, get to the mall, meet Jeannie and Henry, shop for something relatively suitable for the three parties that this weekend entails, pick up things at Moms house, pick up the kids at 12:30, get the kids to nap, do laundry, talk to Bec and kiss sweet Tessa as she stayed at the house during nap time, run to nail place for a mani/pedi/wax, race home, do laundry, get to gym, make dough, feed kids dinner, shower kids, nurse Jake and put him to bed, make 120 cookies, bag them, and straighten up and fold 4 loads of laundry that Nate dropped off in his few hours at home this week. Cakewalk, yes? Everything happened except the gym.

We have three parties in the next.........48 hours or so. Two involve the kids (who are supposed to look relatively holiday fancyish, and all three involve me being some sort of presentable). One is downright fancy. I need one of those Superman phonebooths. I don't have one of those booths, damn it. I had grandiose plans. I thought that perhaps I would watch what I ate for a few days so as to be holiday fancy dress trim looking. I considered getting a spray tan. I even admit to putting some self tanner stuff on my face. I DID get a manicure and pedicure today, big treat.....but I ate 3000 cookies and everything else in my stressed out sight this week, am decidedly NOT holiday trim, and my awesome manicure is great.....but my fingers are stained red from the sprinkles that I put on the cookies all night. Oh, and I'm sporting like eleventy awesome zits courtesy of the self tanner I applied to my vain face. Super hot. I pretty much stink at this whole "trying to primp" thing.

So that is cool. I'm going to look decidedly holiday harried for the slew of parties ahead of us. It is actually a great thing for me, my kids keep me in check from being as crazy as this area can encourage one to be when it comes to personal vanity and whatnot. So, I'm decidedly not at my best, and I have to get three kids all dressed up tomorrow, wake them up early from naps, and get to a party (solo, with kids, to meet Nate there) looking relatively put togetherish. I also have to have all of their pajamas laid out and ready here at home, so that when we drop them off and quick change and race off we can hand them off to poor Brooke without too much hardship on her part. Do I sound like I'm complaining? I'm so not complaining, this is just me trying to work through my to do list.

Anyway. The point of this post is to rave about my kids. I had the super angst about today, for nought. The kids made tonight awesome. They are SO.MUCH.FUN at this age, once I get poor Jake to bed. I'm struggling with feeling like I don't get enough big kid time alone with the bigs.....so am trying to incorporate more evening activities, and work the two shows that they are allowed to watch on TV into the day or the post nap afternoon so that I can enjoy my post jake time with them doing more grown up things. That was a wordy sentence, but what I mean is that I miss Luke and Julia. I miss them because I get very little alone time with them, and juggling three is doable, but oftentimes I find myself negotiating to the least common denominator (Jake). Jake is super powerful, and he knows it. I am the queen of not negotiating with the little terrorists that preschoolers are......but then Jake figured me out. He has learned to SCREAM. He has learned to scream not just when he has been wronged (which is rarely) but when he wants something. And I have on occasion committed the cardinal sin of negotiation, I have actually said "JUST GIVE IT TO HIM!!!!!!". This is deeply, deeply wrong, unfair to the bigs, and simply does not jive with my parenting. So, I'm learning and changing course. Less will get done around the house, when all three are awake. I will learn to live with that.

I need to adapt. This is my goal.

Tidal waves.

The moment when one feels like they are failing at everything, yet has nothing to do, is a painful one. I caught a long, wonderful triple play of a nap today. The house was clean, but I was dirty, so I fixed that with a long hot jacuzzi......in which I tried to remedy the growing pit of anxiety in my stomach with some deep breathing. It didn't work. So, I got out.

Then I pretty much paced around the house. Then I made a list. I made two. When my post nap time freed up because a friend was busy, I decided to go to Target. The kids got up, we got in the car, we had a great talk about picking out gifts for others (the sharing tree at school) .......and I realized half way to the store that I didn't bring either list. Awesome.

Taking three kids to Target is a bit like rubbing glass into ones eye. You just keep rubbing and blinking, though it doesn't really make anything better. In target talk, you just keep saying things like "no, they don't need that (a vacuum) and don't touch that, and Jake, stop saying "BALL" and wiping Jake's horribly copiously snotting nose surreptitiously with ones hand because to carry a diaper bag would just be gauche when one is in this deep, and explaining why the everysinglething is not something that we need..............while simultaneously trying not to visibly sweat through ones down coat or Ugg boots and wonder how exactly one is going to

a. prepare dinner for ones husband who is en route home (due in at 6!) from 3 days away and

b. expalin to ones husband how a mop head and some cookie supplies and some 'cheap gifts for the sharing tree' totaled $180

while:

c. Trying to think,

because

d. One forgot the damn list.

Then, when one gets home, and goes to turn on the damn grill, and the damn propane is empty, and one tries to replace the damn tank in the damn dark with three (darn) kids standing at the door..........well. One sweats. A lot.

Damn.

It's Christmas!

Jake is a big help. A huge help! Seriously. Afer he annoyed everyone eleventy times and tried hard to break 73 things, I brought him into the kitchen to sit at the island and help me cook (aka eat grapes). We had a celabratory dinner with Uncle Brian that included homemade meatballs, sausage and gravy, a caesar salad, garlic bread and some peppermint ice cream.

Them, in action, as I ducked in while cooking. A few years back I would have been sad about just looking in while I cooked.....honestly? A sign that I am a Mom of three busy kids? This year it was a relief! I can control food way better than I can control three kids with precious and delicate ornaments.

The house!

Jake gets his newsboy breakfast look on while he reads the paper and entertains us all.

Luke and I get to build a gingerbread house ~ in lieu of a Christmas program his enrichment program (i.e his one afternoon of preschool/week) did this. A total blast. Love my sweet boy, and a date with just him was fantastic. This is one of the weirdest grimace faces I have ever seen Luke make, and it makes me laugh.

CRAZY! Not shopping, just doing! Nate is studying round the clock as he is about to finish his first term (of 5! 20% done already, and rocking!), we are seemingly doing events of some sort most every day, and time is just clicking by way way too quickly!

The kids had an awesome sleepover last night at Mom Mom and Pop Pop's, with their cousin Samantha (who will be three next week). I dropped them off at 4, they had a great Mom Mom made dinner, built a fire, snuggled down and (eventually) went to sleep. This morning they had pancakes, made gorgeous ornaments, and went on a 90 minute Santa train ride complete with carols and the like. They were dropped off by Pop Pop around 12:30, ate lunch, and promptly fell asleep (Luke, my almost 5 year old, slept until 5, despite Jake trying to rouse him at 4:15. Jules slept until Jake woke her at that point).

Nate and I, chilling with just Jake, felt like teenagers. I mean no disrespect at all to people with one child, but DAMN having just one child (when one is accustomed to having three) is super easy vacationish wonderful! Children are hard period, however, so I would like to reiterate that in my glee over having just one child I am not trying to diminish the reality or difficulty of having a child, period. Mkay (but it was a party for us).

We went and got a tree. Took 4 minutes. Honestly, took 4 minutes. Another bonus of having three kids? Dumb crap like picking the perfect tree just falls by the wayside. Love the tree. Perfect, because it was easy. Jake dove into his bed by 6:40, and we had a great night of homemade pizza, a fire, and a movie. One of the huge upsides to school is that when I get undivided time with my husband, I revel in it in entirely new ways ~ I felt so incredibly lucky! This morning was a treat, Jake woke a little early, around 7:15, and nursed and slept in bed till after 8. We quickly shoved our coffee down our throats and got in the car to go to Ikea, with (our) boyfriend Jake. We bought a couple of things to transform our playroom into an artroom, as this is what is happening this Christmas. Got home and got the lights on the tree and marveled at Jake and his gums, which are so swollen that he is actually gagging and choking on his own saliva, which is super hot. Thankfully he remains his cheerful self, despite his new oral anomoly. The kids got home, happy and giddy (fueled by tootsie rolls, courtesy of Pop Pop) and ate the extra pizza that I made last night. When they passed out, we (with Brian's help ~ so grateful!) put the lights up outside of the house and got the lights on the tree.

The kids had a great time decorating the tree while I cooked, we had a wonderful dinner, and now the adults are settling in to watch a movie and enjoy the lovely lights and fire. This is our weekend of relative calm before the storm of next week/end. I bought my first gift on line yesterday ~ and would like to officially make clear that I think that the whole consumer insanity of Christmas is plain old nutty. Stupid. Why on EARTH would we buy our kids 3000 things? They don't need them, and most *things* are junk. Our kids have what they need, they don't watch TV to know what they *want*, and they are very happy. They need love. That is what they need. They need memories. They need traditions. These things, we are happy to lavish on them. I admit to getting way more anti gift and pro experience as I go....and I started off pretty much anti gift.

Anyway, soapbox aside, I'm awed that Christmas is just 15 days away! I feel like I'm too busy to feel pressure, too busy to worry about anything, and am just enjoying every moment that I steal with my husband and our kids. We are so lucky to live in a home that we love, to love one another, to be warm, to be fed, to be able to help others where and when we can. I find myself especially emotional this year when I consider all of the families out there who are just seeking warmth and food.....and admit that I am more turned off than normal to TV, the newspapers, and all of the other advertising that we are being sold as normal or festive.

Anyway. Happy early December, to all.

18 Months!

My silly boy, post bath. We have a new winter routine of hour long baths after his nap and while the older kids sleep. I read and Jake plays and occasionally walks over and gives me long hugs, it is lovely. My boyfriend.

My sweet baby boy turned 18 months old last week. I am infatuated with the little man. This is just such a fun, easy stage. He eats, sleeps, and has suddenly shifted from "the baby" to "one of the kids". I don't know exactly what did it ~ if it is his suddenly expanding vocabulary, or his command of receptive language, or just a mental shift on his part, but he seems to now self identify as a pre schooler rather than as a baby.

At 18 months you are a joy, Jakers. You are a wonderful sleeper and a wonderful eater, and you are ALLLLLL your Daddies personality. You are just a jolly little fellow, you don't take yourself too seriously, and you are already exhibiting a goofy and love to laugh personality that I adore. You are totally going to be the class clown ~ yet you also have this gritty little determination that I love. You don't miss a trick, Jake. You continue to be the most affectionate child I have ever met ~ your kisses and hugs are the highlight of my day.

We had his 18 month well visit today, and Jake continues to be at the tip top of the growth chart at 30 lbs and 34 inches. Watching you grow into a little boy is a joy little man, I love you.

After a crazy weekend where Nate was at school till about 6 on Saturday night, we ran in Brian's Run (a 5 mile race raising money to equip housing for newly disabled vets) on Sunday and then hosted a party afterwards! It was a great time.....but after cleaning and cooking all weekend, having 30 some people at the house and being up till almost 1 last night has led to a very, very lazy day today! I'm laying in front of the fire ~ my tired kids slept from 1-4:30 today (when I finally woke them up!) after having a great afternoon and evening with Brooke and Jackson and Carter yesterday. Due to the ridiculously long nap, I'm snuggling down in a "nest" in front of the fire with the bigs, no lights on but Christmas lights, my house clean and put back in order post party, and about to watch the Charlie Brown Christmas special on TV with my kids for the very first time! Fa la la la laaaaaaaaaaa.

Friday Night Lights.

Carter, Julia, Luke and Jackson take in the Old Fashioned Christmas Parade. Many thanks to Matt and Melissa for taking on my bigs so that smalls could get to sleep and I could go on a cleaning binge!

When I say "cleaning binge" I really mean that I put Jake to work while I kick back and eat more pizza.

They love watching it cook. If a watched pot never boils, it is nothing short of a miracle that our pizza cooks with 6 little eyes peering at it.

It's a group effort. I was recently laughed at for saying that cooking with a one year old was a great form of down time. I don't care.....because it is true. The kids love to cook, and when Luke told me yesterday (cooking zucchini bread) "now we have to mix the wet ingredients with the dry ingredients.....I know that it is actually paying off, beyond entertainment.

There is nothing necessarily hygienic about it, but it sure is fun.

So! Its another wild and crazy Friday night here at chez Mangan!

I have to admit, I was really really scared about Nate starting school. The big huge fear was never seeing him, him being stressed out all the time....and Friday nights. Friday nights are family nights! We have (or had) a great routine ~ Friday morning was my errand running time with my boyfriend Jake, they napped, I got in a great workout in the post nap afternoon, and we picked up pizza oe had it delivered, then Nate and I had our home date night. Fun and relaxing. I was really afraid of Friday nights alone ~ those are nights where my friends are generally unavailable as they are all doing the family thing. I had visions of me sitting around feeling sorry for myself and crying into my pizza while pining for my husband. However, that routine has continued every other friday....and on the weeks that Nate is at school, I have found myself tremendously happy. I've hosted occasional sleep overs with my girlfriends, and I have rediscovered my passion for both serendipity and cleaning.

Back in the work days Friday nights meant happy hour, or a date night with Nate. In the post kid world, down time at home hosting a game night with friends or simple down time with my family. In the school era? It's like the magic 8 ball is in charge. Tonight was the wonderful "Old Fashioned Christmas Parade" in WC. Living in the Borough, this was a no brainer, we walked up, pregnant, with Luke and pregnant, with two kids, with three kids........and this year? It was just too hard. It was too hard to ruin Jake's bedtime and face the prospect of rolling into the house alone to put three over tired kids to bed hours past their bedtime solo. Much to my delight, friends came to the rescue. Matt and Melissa graciously volunteered to take the bigs to the parade, while Jake and I got to hang out for an hour, and then I went on a ferocious cleaning binge. I love throwing things away. Love it. I get a visceral thrill when I empty more than one large bag of trash into our bin. Is this sad? Am I pathetic? I admit to even getting greedy, eyeing up projects for two weeks from now. Tackling those sneaky little areas where things seem to multiply and collect. We are hosting a party on Sunday, and I am READY. We have not yet put up our tree (which, traditionally we would do tomorrow, but Nate is at school, so we will probably do next week), but most of the Christmas decorations are up. I'm a dork. I probably err on the side of being a bit of a neat freak, but these nights where I have few options socially I admit to greedily hoarding my time to myself, to do something that I enjoy. I really, really love it when Nate comes home on Saturday night and the house is pristine.

Today I also got selfish ~ Luke and Jules live to go to "lunch bunch". Luke goes every Tuesday, because he has enrichment those afternoons, and I have recently come to know the joy that is Friday afternoon lunch bunch for two. This is only the second time I have done it, and it is MAGICAL. The kids get so excited to make their lunches and pack them up in their bags.....I drop them at school at 9:10 and am free (with Jake) until 12:30. The big guy and I do the town (today Gentiles for pointsettias and greens (so cheap!) then Target, a lovely lunch while I unpacked everything, then off to pick up the kids. All three napped, I organized, took a jacuzzi, then rescued a crying Jake for an hour of nursing naptime in my bed, all warm and cozy. We woke to head into West Chester, Luke got a haircut and we picked up our packets for a race that we are running on Sunday with friends before the post race party we are hosting. So dorky! But so fun. It was a lovely sunny crisp day and we had a great time walking around town taking care of business. We came home in time to make our own pizza, which the Reed's shared with us before taking the kids off to the parade. I got the entire upstairs cleaned and organized after I put Jake to bed. Again, not the Friday night that I ever thought (in my 20's) would bring me joy....and it brought me mad joy. This school thing is working out about a million times better than I had ever dreamed. I'm so crazy proud of my husband for the hard work that he is doing, and I am so enjoying the time to do wild and crazy things like clean or dream up marathon schemes. I love our little life. It isn't glamorous, but it sure is fulfilling.

Thanksgiving, 2011

This years menu included:

Two turkeys, both brined, one roasted and one fried.

Sausage apple stuffing

Gravy (which Kevin made and was incredible)

Cranberry apple orange compote

Cranberry orange chutney

Sweet Potato and Apple Scallop

Mashed Potatoes

Green Beans two ways (Meredith and I both made them by accident! I thought she was bringing broccoli)

Glazed Carrots

Homemade rolls

Cole Slaw

Corn Casserole

And dessert was some homemade apple and pumpkin pies, clementines, and ice cream.

Is it sick that it is 8 days later (like, 4 days post left overs) and my mouth is watering?