Time capsule, and routine.

After a relatively relaxing holiday, it was a shittastic re-entry into real life. Luke got a high fever on Sunday. Monday morning found him not at school with his sister, but at the Pedi with a diagnosis of a double ear infection and strep throat. With a 104 fever, my poor man was listless and wan. He is such my big boy that I forget what a baby he still is in many ways, being sick reinforces this. I can't really complain, this is our first illness since last Spring, and thankfully he actually got through the holidays healthy....but it started off the whole "Get back into the swing of things" with a definite limp.

Sunday and Monday I didn't leave the house but to take Luke to the Dr. Tuesday I let him watch a show and snuck out with Jake and Jules to work out (Nate was working at home, obvs), but was home the rest of the day. I have to tell you, for a "Stay at home Mom" I completely and totally hate staying at home. I mean, I super hate it. I stink at it. I don't like it. We NEED to be out on the move, because being home is incredibly hard. The problem? Sweet Jake. The bigs are at such a wonderful age ~ pretty much all they want to do is puzzles and games and art projects.....I really think that they could go weeks without TV and not miss it. But. But there is this gigantic 19 month old who thinks he is 3 and wants to be involved in EVERYTHING.......and involvement looks a lot like Godzilla, at this point. It is illegal to cage him. Duct tape is unethical. So I'm a bit at a loss. Jake thinks that I am cool amazing when he wants to nurse, or when I am working hard to cook dinner, or at bed and nap or grocery shopping time.....but the rest of the day I am a distant third to his sibs. He loves them. And they love him. But I don't love the dilemma that all of this love presents. Jake tries to play, he does, but he simply lacks the mastery to do a 60 piece puzzle, he doesn't really understand "share" when it comes to coloring books, and he destroys games.

Anyway, after three days in the house I was pacing around like a caged beast.

Luke, my sweet Luke, was feeling it a bit too. He went straight from sick mode into impossible mode. And all felt ugly. I felt ugly, the kids seemed like jerks, and my job felt impossible hard. I felt off kilter and a little lost in my own life/routine. I cried Wednesday and Thursday night as I went to bed, feeling sure that I was ruining my children and probably myself as well.

Friday. Ah, Friday. Nate is back at school. I got up and had a lovely morning with the kids. I was driving them to school and rooting around in my center console.....and lost my breath when I discovered my CAMERA! It has been lost since August. I had given up, and as a new one isn't in the budget right now, resigned myself to awful indoor photos courtesy of iPhone. This was good, this was really good. I took the kids to school, then met friends for a 6 mile run. After 5.5 miles in the cold, Jake had had enough, and was screaming. To the car we went, then to the grocery store. I hadn't been in almost two weeks, which was a record. I got through everything, then remembered that I needed yeast. Because I am a glutton for punishment, I decided recently to begin baking bread from scratch. Not quick breads, which we make weekly, but real bread. If you know me you know what a terrible awful masochistic endeavor this is. I hate being exact, and baking is all about being exact. Anyway. I forgot the dang yeast. So back to aisle 10 I went. While I was pawing through the yeasts trying to find the type I needed, Jake reached back into the cart and upended a dozen eggs. They went flying up in the air. One landed on the floor. 11 landed in my cart. I spent 2 hours unpacking and washing those damn groceries. But as I stood there, raw egg all over my hand, and my baby, and my food, I just started to laugh. This was egg. Just some damn egg. This was not leukemia. This was not "a mass". This was a baby who got egg all over my stuff. My stuff which I am so lucky to be able to procure. Just stuff. Stuff that washes off. So, in that moment of mess, I refound my center. I'm not ruining my kids. I'm not terrible at this (just moderately bad). I was off balance, is all. Reentry from Nate being off is really no different than reentry from vacation....and both are the suck. We had a lovely afternoon at the gym (where I finished my run with another 6 miles), a peaceful and easy dinner and an hour of "loud time!" in the kitchen after dinner. We laughed a lot. I felt myself take my first true deep breath since New Years. I snuggled down with the kids as they watched a show, and we made grand plans for a pizza dinner and ice cream and easel painting for family night on Saturday when Nate gets home. I apologized to them for being frazzled. They forgave me with graciousness and giggles. And I tucked myself into bed at 8:30, with a joyful sigh.

In time capsule news, I plugged my camera in, eager to solve the mystery of when it was lost. There was just one new photo on it, and this was it. Can you guess? It was Nate's first day of school, back in the first week of August. He was leaving for almost a week for his intensive. I had forgotten making him a special little breakfast of eggs and toast and fruit....and my pounding nervous heart.....and this picture brought it all rushing back. Ironic, that this is when it was lost. In a sense, that was the day that everything changed. It is all good change, but damn is it change. When I get down on myself I need to give myself some grace ~ we are over 20% done this adventure, but we are deep, deep in this thing. My job is extra hard right now, and I have to remember that feeling like a failure is unfortunately going to happen, especially during this time of bearing an extra load (just like Nate is). We are going back to daily yoga afternoons, to more books, to less cleaning on my part, and easier dinners. When it all feels too big I need to remember that the power to make it smaller lies with me.

I feel balanced again, and ready to go. And I already hate bread making. I have my first "yeast sponge" in the fridge just waiting for me to mess it up today :) And yes, that sounds unfathomably gross.

Sick Days

Sick, crusty eyed Luke.

Sick, crusty eyed and eared Jules.

Sick siblings.

After reading 30 or 40 books a day, markers, crayons, puzzles and daytime TV watching (which never happens in our house) we resort to homemade games like "Ghost". This is Jules being the Ghost. She chases Luke and I around the house until she is laughing so hard she cannot go on. Then we switch roles. Not complicated, but worth at least 30 minutes of entertainment.

Animal Mountain. Another sick day fun staple.

So.

It's been a housebound week. Which makes sense, because we had the entire week planned full of fun activities with my girlfriends. So endless cancellations later, home we sat. The kids caught something on Sunday at Church. By Monday afternoon the 4 hour nap was in full force, which, as usual ended with the kids waking up with 103.5 fevers. Nate was out of town, and that night Luke slept in my bed ~ sleeping with a creature with a body temp of 103 is much like having your very own personal electric blanket. I use the term "sleeping" loosely however, as there was much coughing and tossing and turning. We have spent the last three days in the house.

Fall/winter is hard. Between school, the gym, church, play dates, parks etc life is a veritable festival of swapped germs and traded ailments. I feel like having two young kids increases your likelihood of illness fivefold, rather than just doubling it. I have no idea why. Luckily Nate and I have remained healthy, but I won't lie ~ being stuck inside of the house can feel like the pits. The days get long. I miss my friends and the welcome break of adult conversation terribly. Talking on the phone just isn't the same, especially as it is usually punctuated with interruptions from their kids or my kids. I miss going to the gym ~ the break of having the kids playing in childcare while I work out or do yoga is one that I treasure and miss terribly when I am not able to go. Luke missed pre school for the first time this year. I start to lose my mind when I am cleaning up the animals for the 37th time that day. (I know, I know ~ Don't clean up the animals until the end of the day........but they drive me crazy. I suck at mess).

The great thing is that the kids have been in fantastic spirits. Though snotty and relatively gross to look at or to touch, they are very snuggly and sweet and warm and generally as happy as usual. I have gotten a nap each day, and barring Monday night I have even gotten more sleep at night as one or the other has slept until 8 each day. The TV has been on during the day, which is a big NYET in our house, but you do what you have to do in crisis. The fevers have been gone since Tuesday, but the lingering mucous madness is keeping us housebound so that we don't get our friends sick. A big pot of homemade soup is keeping our bellies full, and Nate and I even got out last night for date night as usual. All in all, it could be a lot worse. I would feel like an ass to complain about a few days stuck in our warm house surrounded by food and TV and toys and the ability to connect with my friends via the telephone and the computer, so I won't even bother complaining. I am lucky that we are dealing with runny noses and crusty eyes, not leukemia or cancer or other atrocities. I feel like I have read too many stories lately of children, young children, with terminal or life threatening diseases, and my heart just breaks for their families.

So today I feel grateful for bodies that know how to fight the inevitable germs that we encounter, and the means to rest and relax when sick days are needed.

Pigtails, Pumpkins, Party Hats and Pig Flu

Those four P's pretty well sum up our October. NO, we don't have the dread pig sickness, I am just sick to death of reading about it, talking about it, and worrying about it. Our Pedi is not even offering the Vax. We are still undecided. On the decided front, we are way down with pumpkins. Painting, stickering, carving, drilling, eating, roasting, picking.....you name it, we've done it (I'm obscenely excited about throwing them off of the back deck on Nov 1st, I can't wait to watch those suckers explode!). Party hats are the new uniform around here, with Julia demanding to wear one every day. Can I formally recommend that everyone add some party hat to your ever day life? Really ups the ante on the good times! Anddddddd, (drum roll here) PIGTAILS! My 'bald is beautiful' baby girl actually has plenty of mullet to share amongst two darling little pigtails! I feel like I'm going to blink and my wee baldy will be wearing a bra, but lets not go there.

Last week was just a tough week. I was up late almost every night between the Springsteen concert, the Phils, and being out with friends. Nate was away some of the week. I was feeling a cold coming on. I was, uh.....overly emotional? Sensitive. Pregnant. Tired. Ugh. I felt as though I was being really short tempered with the kids, and as though surely they were taking annoying pills. This weekend was fantastic, I got caught up on rest, caught up on time with my sweet husband, and took a gander in my kids mouths on a whim. NOOOOOOO, it wasn't annoying pills, it was molars. Luke just popped his bottom two two year molars, and Jules just cracked BOTH 1 year molars, BOTH eye teeth, and another tooth. So, the good news is that my bad mood and impatience did not forever ruin my children and turn them into whiny demanding needy brats, the onset of a collective 7 teeth in one week did. Big relief. Thankfully other than the slight case of brattiness, they slept fantastically and the worst seems to be over already. Luke is back to being my cheerful little lover, and Jules is just killing me with her funny faces and phrases lately. At 19 months old the child is pretty much carries on entire conversations and is capable of making all of her needs or wants known.

After sleeping till 9 and then taking a 4 hour nap on Sunday, I knew something was up with the kids. Sure enough, they woke up from their marathon nap with fevers. We have been hunkered down for the past two days, relaxing and keeping our germs to ourselves. The fevers are gone, and Luke is fine, Julia slightly snotty. Being housebound isn't too bad now that the little critters are back to being themselves.

I hit a point last week where I was SO ANNOYED. Just frustrated beyond belief. I wanted the kids to just get with the freaking program, to stop acting like uncivilized demanding task masters. I was quite sure that they had not only figured what the most annoying sound on all of the Earth was, but that they had figured out how to make it in tandem. I wanted the "MAMA I WANT A NAPKIN NOOOOOOW! NAPKIN MAMA! NAPKIN! MAMA CAN I PLEASE HAVE A NAPKIN?" while I was doing 5 other things at that exact time insanity to stop. I felt frustrated at their neediness in the face of all that I felt that I "had" to get done. I began to understand how people spank their kids, or scream insanely at them, or have adult temper tantrums.

Sunday night I was cuddled up with Luke in my bed as my feverish little guy watched Dora. Jules was asleep. Luke was pink cheeked and clean and so sweet smelling I was literally huffing him. His thick dark lashes were so long and beautiful over his green/blue/brown eyes. He reached over to me and held my hand. I found myself utterly transfixed. I look at Luke and Julia all day long. But somehow, after such a hard week, I found myself just LOOKING at Luke in a whole new way. I was struck by how entirely small and soft and new and fragile he is. It hit me that just a moment ago, really, he didn't even exist. Just three short years ago he was still a dream in my belly, not even at the point of viability yet. I was struck by how hard it feels for me (at 34) to cope with the stresses and frustrations of life, at times. I suddenly became aware of how much I expect from this little critter ~ This tiny person who is fully conversational, yet only 2.5. His easy going nature and his sunny personality sometimes allow me to overlook or to forget his utter inexperience, his total lack of understanding of some of how the world works. WHY on earth do I get surprised that the briefest of delays in the procurement of that freaking napkin might feel like such a tragedy to him? OF COURSE it does. Problems that I deem so inconsequential can seem so large to someone so small. With no sense of past or future, the MOMENT is very important to a toddler.

Its all obvious stuff. Motherhood is really just a continual state of remembering and forgetting. As soon as I "remembered" how little, how new, how busy my little ones are with learning all that there is to know in this crazy world, I felt refreshed. It's hard to be a toddler. It's hard to be the Mother of a toddler, too. With just the simple remembering of those truths, I felt patience come pouring back into my body. Thank God.

Tagged

Alexis tagged me.

This is the 4th picture from the 4th folder in my picture folders. It's my totally random file, labeled AAA. This was our Christmas card from last year, which I didn't even remember that I had saved electronically. Thanks for the reminder, Lex! This is also one of my all time favorite pictures of my Luke.

In other news Julia is a nightmare of neediness. 4 teeth about to pop up top, and a continued ear infection that Abx do not seem to be touching. The M family has lousy ears, and mine were pretty bad as a child, so it seems that our children are also doomed to many ear infections. We are taking her to an ENT doc in Feb at the recommendation of our Pedi. At this point tubes are welcome, I'm losing my mind this past week and she seems to be as well. Thank GOD she is still sleeping through the night, but she pretty much wants me, just me, all day long. ALL DAY LONG.

A sad milestone.

First ruptured eardrum.

Remember my whiny post about not getting sleep due to Julia's teething? Yeah......it wasn't teething. Simply a poor baby with a throbbing ear. Jules had an ear infection over Christmas that apparently did not go away. No fever. No other symptoms than the night waking, which I had attributed to teething.

Nope.

My poor girl had an another waking at night episode last night ~ I was up with her from 3-4.30 and could not get her to go back to sleep. She finally went down, and slept until 8.30. I got her in the tub right after she awoke as we had friends coming over this morning. I was washing her face when I noticed stuff in her ear. Gross stuff. Stuff that I won't go into detail on. Stuff that very clearly did not belong there. That happened two more times, and I took her in around 2 this afternoon to confirm my suspicions that her ear drum had, in fact ruptured.

I got all teary in the Dr's office. I felt horrible guilt for not knowing what was hurting her, and for coming to the wrong conclusion in blaming her discomfort on her teeth.

I hate seeing my child in pain.

Hopefully she will be on the mend ASAP. We got her first dose of ear drops and antibiotic into her tonight.

Sorry, baby girl.

Merry Christmas!

Nate got a special, well earned present ~ Shatterproof Christmas Ornaments. Go ahead tree ~ mess with us NOW.

Santa brought home a new sleigh yesterday. Big enough to fit all the reindeer AND the big jolly guy too.


Julia gets a Cabbage patch baby......her name (according to her Cabbage Patch birth certificate) is Laquita Janelle. Probably not what we might have chosen.......but a lovely name nonetheless.

He's a baller. His eyes lit up when he saw his new basketball hoop and he spent the morning slam dunking.

Presents are exhausting. Thank goodness for loving Godmothers to cuddle up to.

Luke and Jules playing around in their Christmas PJ's before bed

Daddy taking Luke up to bed on Christmas Eve

Yesterday started off horribly. My poor baby girl woke up covered in every sort of crusty stuff imaginable, a terrible cough, and a 103 fever. Off to the Dr's we went at 8.30 am......to find that sweet Santa had gifted Julia a double ear infection and a viral infection. The good news was that it did not appear to be RSV, and we were able to start her on antibiotics right away. That just threw off our whole Christmas ~ The Dr advised us to not take her to my in laws tomorrow where Nate's entire family would be gathering, as there would be a lot of other small kids there. My heart broke. I so wanted to see my nieces and nephews, and my in laws, and see my kids playing with their cousins. I came home desolate, and facing a day of baking with a sick baby. Then Nate bought us a new car.......which didn't fit in the garage. So I was heartbroken, Jules was sick, Nate was miserable.......you get the idea. I had two pies to make from scratch, breakfast for 8 to host this morning, and presents to wrap. It was a pretty awful and stressful afternoon, and I had a healthy dose of bah humbug. Tears were shed.

By the time the kids went to bed, the pies were made, the breakfast prepped, the garage rearranged so that the new car fit, Nate and I had ordered a delicious dinner, and we sat in our dining room and ate by candlelight. It felt like our own little Christmas miracle ~ simply surviving the day felt a bit of a miracle, truth be told. We wrapped presents together, and stayed up too late being excited about our kids morning and feeling overwhelmed with gratitude for the year behind us, and all that lies ahead. Julia slept through the night, and woke up still sick, but clearly on the mend, happy and less feverish.

More on Christmas later as this mid day utopia of coinciding naps just got shattered by the cry that I heard from upstairs. There are baths to be had and Christmas outfits to be put on.

I hope that everyone who reads this had a wonderful Christmas/Solstice/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Festivus/Winter Holiday/Thursday. Whatever you celebrate, enjoy every moment.

Love to all of you from Nate, Luke, Julia and I.

Not a good night.

Need I say more?

It is 12.30, AM. Luke has been awake since 10.30, after his usual 7.15 bedtime.

Luke woke up, crying hard, which he never does. I went and got him. He is suffering from the runny nose/cough/general malaise that is running rampant amongst the members of our home who are present in it at this time. We have managed to deal with it with lots of fluids and cuddles, and no medicine, until now. I gave him the appropriate dose of children's Motrin, assuming that the illness must be affecting his sleep. Brought Luke into bed with me. Now, we have a king bed, with no rails, as I am blessed (generally) with children who sleep through the night, every night, in their own cribs. Luke and I cuddled up, he, thumb in mouth, me, Luke in arms.

I was worried about falling asleep in the awkward position, but sure that Luke was moments away from rest-of-night-bliss.

I awoke to a funny noise.

I jumped out of bed, ninja style (of course), fully prepared to deal with whatever tragedy was befalling us.

The tragedy was Luke, awake, playing "Gasoline fight a'la Zoolander" with the bottle of Children's Motrin.

My carpet and bed are covered in Children's Motrin. The overwhelming stench of overripe sugar laden cherries permeates my bedroom. My fault? Yes. But I went to sleep at 10 pm. If I neglected to put the cap correctly back upon the bottle of Motrin on my bedside table in my shocked-to-be-awake-at-10.30 state, well, another motherly failing to check off.

My son is crying, and in his crib. Surely my daughter is soon to wake.

I could be in bed. But it stinks. And Luke is crying. And I can't help him. So I am down here, typing, where it will take longer to realize that it's not just Luke crying, its both kids. And I am trying to come up with a plan ~ Cause if I don't know how to contain a middle of the night awake Luke, I surely have no idea how to contain a middle of the night awake Luke and Jules.

So I sit, in fear.

It's going to be/already is a long night for me. I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself. I'm trying.

(Edited to add ~ It's now 1.20. Luke did wake up Julia. I first went and comforted Luke, yet again. I then nursed and rocked Jules, and she went back to sleep. Luke is finally quiet, presumably sleeping soundly, possibly running around the attic or basement or somewhere in his new, freakish, party in the middle of the night vampire persona. I am now so stressed out (and smelling that freaking horrid cherry medicine smell everywhere) that I am wide awake. Huzzah.)

Crystal Clear

I had often wondered how one knew the difference between spit up and throw up.

Now I don't wonder anymore. Luke spent the day projectile vomiting several times. Ugh. Poor critter stayed in relatively good spirits despite his empty stomach, and it appears that the storm may have passed as since about 2 PM today he is vomit free. I'm starting to think that my little cult of a gym is really just a fermenting ground for some mad scientists experimental germ lab.

Anyway. For any Mama's who have yet to deal with the throw up thing, let me tell you. Its not pretty. Its amazing how much liquid these little babies house within them. And it stinks. Like big people puke. All in all its an experience that I don't recommend (especially when your baby decides that the best time to unleash his first ever torrent of puke is inside of his Dad's brand new car, while strapped into his brand new carseat!) Poor car. Poor baby. Poor us.

Barbarians at the Gate

Here is my little barbarian clamoring to get into the kitchen. I have learned that emptying the dishwasher is impossible with the little monkey trying to climb inside it, so now I toss him on the other side of the baby gate while I am filling or emptying it. As the dishwasher is such a thrill, he immediately climbs to standing in order to simply get a glance inside at all of the glorious wonders it holds within. He literally rattles the bars of the baby gate like a prisoner at his cell door. I expect him to start swaying and singing "Nobody knows the trouble I've seen" while running his drinking cup over the bars next.

Here is a quick list of things that are no longer easy. Just tossing these off from he top of my head.

*Anything that involves the filling or emptying of the dishwasher.
*Diaper changes. Luke is hell bent on crawling away. They become mini wrestling matches.
*Me taking a shower while the critter is awake. (there is simply no safe place to put him)
*Me getting dressed, putting on make up or doing any other sort of womanly beauty maintenance task while Luke is awake. Yesterday while I was trying to put on makeup he systematically pulled each and every shoe out of our closet. Every one! He has a dedication to task that is impressive.
*Eating dinner. Luke is now trying to "cruise" between the couches and the coffee table. He does this with varying levels of success. Dinner usually entails at least one fall/head bang/wail/consolation session.
*Feeding Luke. He wants to do it himself, and he has also perfected the art of spitting. He "blows raspberries" with a mouth full of peas, or carrots, or some other equally bright colored mush. I end up with it in my hair. Sexxxxxy.
*Being in any room with an outlet, at any time. Luke makes a beeline for outlets. Not kidding. He cannot resist the siren song of any shiny object. And one mounted a mere foot off of the wall? Fuggettabout it.
*Being in the office. Yesterday Luke reached up, grabbed hold of the drawer pull on Nate's desk, the drawer opened, and I looked down to see Luke suddenly and unexpectedly hanging by one arm from the then open drawer. His entire body had lifted off of the ground and he was supporting it all with just one hand on the drawer pull. To his credit, he neither let go nor cried, just looked up at me totally aghast. I rescued him. The office is simply a jungle of wonder, with wires, papers, drawers, and all sorts of shiny things.
* Eating with Luke on your lap. He is unbelievable in his ability to throw his entire body at, and connect with, whatever it is I am eating or drinking. Simply put, he want what I got. Whether it is coffee, vitamins, food WHATEVER. And he is really adept at trying to get it!
* Reading a book or magazine while nursing. No way, no how. Mr. Curiosity has to have it, who would want to NURSE when you can shove magazine pages in your mouth???
*Allowing the dog access to fresh water and food is a thing of the past. Perhaps the ONLY thing that Luke longs for more than the dishwasher is the dogs water bowl. Thus far he has shown no interest in eating the dogs food, but oh, the water bowl. Before I learned to put it up on the hutch Luke crawled over to it and tipped the whole thing over no less than 5 times (wow Mom, way to go, only 5 huge messy water incidents to teach you to put the bowl out of reach, can't say I am a quick learner:) Now Mully has special times to eat ~ meaning, whenever Luke is asleep or napping.

Anyway, there's the shortlist.

I could also make a list of things that are way more FUN these days, but this is already long and boring enough as it is. Luke is funny. He is just a funny little guy. He loves to laugh, and it makes our life more fun.

He went to his very FIRST football game last night. Garnet Valley vs. Penncrest at GV. Got to see Rich coach, and I am happy to say that GV thumped them. Luke seemed to enjoy the game and the partying ~ by partying I mean staying up a WHOLE 2 hours past when he usually goes to bed. He was a good sport about it. He woke up this morning with a COLD. Ugh. He hasn't had a cold in a long time. (Am I a sicko to confess that I get a surge of personal satisfaction akin to the joy I used to get from closing a large deal at work every time I get a big mother load out of the nose sucker???. How far I have fallen..............)

Weekend Woes

I suffered from "Panera's Revenge" all weekend. Lost 5 lbs the not fun way. Ate at Panera for the first (and last) time in my life on Friday with Maryanne and Jen, and spent the rest of the weekend very sick. Ugh. Saturday was spent on the couch entertaining the baby and trying to keep down toast while Nate slaved away painting the house in the 100 degree heat. Luke is a great companion while sick, he is such an easy going little guy who vacillates between playing by himself on the floor, crawling everywhere, standing up and falling over, and then coming over for cuddles on the couch. His weigh in last Thursday at my nursing group showed that he gained a pound and a half in less than two weeks, so my guy is getting big. He had stayed at the same weight for about a month, so it was nice to see him gain. 18 and 1/2 lbs now. Wow.

We have been listening to the new baby's heartbeat with a Doppler, it's so amazing to hear that little heart thumping away in there. It makes it start to feel more real to me that we are having another baby. (One would have thought that the fact that I am already having to wear maternity clothes might have done the trick....but no, hearing the heartbeat is making it hit home) As I was so sick I was a little panicked on Friday night about it harming the baby, so its great to hear that heartbeat, very reassuring. For those that put any stock in the old wives tales, this baby's heartbeat is way higher than Luke's always was in utero. (Luke was always 145-150, this baby is in the 165-170 range.) We also listened to Luke's heartbeat with it, much easier to find now that he is sitting on the couch instead of in utero :). We were cracking up to hear it, then us laughing got Luke laughing, and his heart rate went up. We are easily entertained in this household.

I need some help. I am sick of referring to the baby that I am pregnant with as "the new baby", "The baby that I am pregnant with" "the coming arrival" etc etc.....
Please help me give this little peanut some sort of reference name. Something relatively genderless. That way I can specify if I am talking about Luke, or this baby. Anyone can play. I know lots of my friends and family read this, so please, add a comment! Please? There is a place to add your comment right at the bottom of this post. Thanks in advance :)

Urban Warrior

So the little critter spent Sunday in downtown Philly for the first time. We walked all around the Irish Festival at Penn's Landing, Society Hill, and Old City. He saw Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell for the first time. The whole "birthplace of democracy" thing didn't really seem to impress him at this juncture. Luke was a perfect gentlemen as we trolled him all around town. He could not possibly have been more enjoyable. He kicked back in the stroller, played and smiled all throughout lunch, and was generally just an absolute joy. Being a family is so much fun.

Some new things in Luke's life ~ Belly Laughs, and Antibiotics. Sheesh. The ear infection had not totally cleared up, so the Dr got him started on Amoxicillian on Monday. He also got his shots, which he took like a trooper ~ Nate held Luke and he stopped crying in less than a minute, and I wore my "big girl pants" and didn't even shed a tear this time.....The medicine is that same viscous, neon pink stuff that I remember from my childhood. Of course I had to taste it, and honestly, tasting it took me right back to being a 5 year old in the kitchen of our old house, with an ear infection. How the heck did I get from there to here so quickly? I have to give him an entire teaspoon via syringe.......doesn't sound like much, right? Lets just say that I have already learned how much a teaspoon really is. It looks like a WHOLE LOT when its all over the sheets, and baby, and both of our clothes. I now administer the medicine ONLY after I have stripped the little guy naked and placed him on a towel. He is so easy going, he really doesn't pitch a fit or anything, he just reaches a point where instead of swallowing it DOWN, he spits it UP. He has the most puzzled look on his face while its happening ~ not upset, just utterly puzzled. There is nothing quite like watching a fountain of neon pink magma flow up out of your child and down into the black hole of his neck folds. Sticky does not even begin to describe the aftermath.

The belly laughs started on Saturday night ~ Nate was holding him and when he started making a funny noise Luke started flat out belly laughing, his whole little body was shaking as he cracked up, over and over. He laughed, we laughed, he laughed etc etc......had a stranger been standing in the room we would have looked like a bunch of residents of the psych ward. You know, the happy kind of crazies. One of these days I am going to have to learn how to download from the video camera to my computer, so that I can link you all to the video of this stuff, its priceless.

After the Dr's appointment I took Luke to get his passport pictures. Lookout Italy...... here comes the Mangan family circus. We booked our flights and are going to be in Italy for 10 days in October. Nate filled out Luke's passport documents, it was so funny listing his height as 2 feet 1 inch! It suddenly feels so real, and I am so excited! I am so glad that we are bringing Luke with us. We bought him his own seat on the plane, and got direct flights, but if anyone out there has other tips for travelling internationally with an 8 month old please let me know!

We had playgroup yesterday at our house. There were 10 of us total. We started out here, and then spent about 2 hours at the park on the corner. Luke and Nathan were laying on a blanket on the ground, and at one point Nathan was sucking Luke's thumb. It was so funny, it seemed as though they were really interacting and playing, rather than each being in their own world. No one seems to have told Luke that he is only 4 months old, and the child is trying to crawl. He scrunches is legs up under him, but he does not seem to grasp the whole arm part yet, so its a bit of a tripod effect, two legs under him, with his face on the ground, Its pretty funny to watch. He looks a bit like a wheelbarrow. He just woke up ~ so off I go.

It's Infectious

Well, big fella, we got through your appointment today. You absolutely shredded me by being so wonderfully happy, and adoring, and sweet this morning before we had to leave. I was taking you to the Dr by myself for the first time, with the knowledge that there were going to be shots involved. I tried to act cool and like I was totally unfazed by it to your Dad, but he saw right through me and suggested that Mom Mom come along with me. Could it be that the fact that I cried longer than you did at your 2 month shots had made an impression upon him? Anyway, Mom Mom had plans and it was just you and me. The simple act of putting your smiley little self into the car seat made tears come to my eyes. This is just so not me, buddy. The thought of someone hurting you reduces me to versions of myself. Two different versions ~ one who is simply a blubbery little fool knowing that the Dr is going to hurt you, but it is in your best interests and I have researched and sanctioned it ~~~ and another that is the Mama Bear on Steroids ~ the version of me that kicks in when I so much as THINK of someone hurting you, demeaning you, or otherwise making you unhappy. That is the one that I try not to show anyone ~ but rest assured little guy, it lurks not far beneath the surface.

Anyway. The appointment. As those who love me know, Luke has been putting me through some hoops in the past 7 days. Starting last Monday night, we have had more than a couple up-three-or-four-times a night sort of nights. So totally unlike my kid. In the right hand corner was Luke, weighing in at 16 lbs 4.5 oz, 2 feet, 1 inch tall, and boasting a 17 inch head. In the other corner was an adoring, tired, Mama. We will post neither the height nor the weight of the Mama to keep her self respect intact.
Luke turned on all his charm for the appointment. The Dr was amazed by the fact that he is already sitting up, rolls around at will, and was turning around while on his belly to follow the sound of her voice. Now, at the risk of sounding like one of those awful, competitive, comparing, i-want-to-shove-their-face-in-the-sand- sort of Mama's, I am going to note what the Dr said. I am not bragging, I am simply documenting. She said that Luke has the physical ability of a 7 month old baby. She went on to comment on his social skills, at the way he made eye contact and was socially interacting above his age level. She said that he would be an "early walker" ~ i told her that I had walked before 9 months, and she said that if she were to lay a bet, she bet he would walk before I had. Now, call me a sexist, but I have just been banking on the fact that Luke, as a boy, would be safely trapped in his relatively unmobile non-walking body until at least a year. We are planning our trip to Italy for October (he will be 7.5-8 mos), and I have been fully counting on a baby who isn't even crawling ~ so I will be very curious to see who is more on target, she or I. Trust me, I didn't in any way doubt my son, I just don't want to be one of those Moms who is constantly looking at the NEXT milestone ~ I simply want to enjoy and savor what it is that he is currently doing. My desire to continue feeding Luke solely via nursing was supported ~ she said that looking at his weight and growth there was no need or reason to introduce solids at this juncture. Ditto my desire to not take those stupid vitamins ~ the kid spends his day's on the beach, at the pool, or at home taking a long walk around town ~ there is no risk of Luke being Vitamin D deficient on my watch. Hooray.


She, like me, adored our baby. She appreciated his personality, his in dependant nature, and his strength. She appreciated Nate and I as his parents, and made me feel so good about the job we are doing nurturing him. It was the most edifying Dr's visit I have ever had, or even imagined.

AS to the waking up at night thing..........what Dr. Mom was attributing to teething or a cold was actually an ear infection. Turns out the little critter had an infected left ear. The Dr. said that it was likely the cause of the night waking. The fact that he was still mostly happy and easy going all day long led her to recommend that we not start antibiotics at this point, but to schedule a follow up visit for a week from now to see if it had cleared up. We did not do his shots today, in an effort to help his little body have the strength to fight this on its own. Should the ear infection be resolved in a week, we will do the shots then, should things get worse in the meantime, we will reassess and consider antibiotics.


PS~! I left my cell phone charger at the beach ~ so to those of you who have texted or called me and not heard back, OOPS. Good thing you love me despite my technical challenges! Call me at home or email me.

So this is my first foray into the wonderful world of blogging. This is really meant more to be a journal of sorts ~ someplace to jot down Luke's little milestones and the details of his infancy. I guess it is also a place to remember all the milestones that I experience as a mom........like the way I have learned to pump while sitting at my computer (if I lean in to the desk I can pump and still type with both hands~ VICTORY!) or how I got through being sick and having a sick baby this past weekend. At the moment I feel as though I will remember every single detail, but I know that in time it will all get fuzzy.

This past weekend was Memorial Day. We headed down to Cape May Thursday around noon. I woke up that morning feeling a cold coming on, and by the time we left I was already full throttle with a runny nose and cough. Joy Joy. Nothing like a cold to get you in the beach mood! The weather was absolutely beautiful, sunny and warm, as it continued to be all weekend. We got the baby all settled in, he loved his new crib, and especially its positioning as it allowed him a fantastic view of one of his favorite things......the ceiling fan. Who would have thought that a fan could provide such hours of entertainment.....Luke stares at it and "talks" to it for long stretches at a time. He also seemed to love the way that the slats of the crib felt against his feet ~ no bumpers there to block the sensation of the bumpy wood against his bare feet. We took a long walk and came home to a wonderful dinner of swordfish and clams on the grill. It was nice to have some time with Mom and Dad before everyone got there. We got to get the baby settled in and relax a bit before the weekend really took off. He slept great that night right next to us in his crib.
Friday was spent on the beach. Luke was a trooper, playing along with putting his feet in the cold ocean water and feeling the sand between his toes. He didn't seem too bothered OR excited by any of it. We got some great pictures, and I simply wanted to eat him up in his CUTE little bathing suit. The hat was critical in keeping him shielded from the sun, and he showed no reaction to the sunscreen that I put on him. We read books and did a lot of cuddling in between his naps in the jogging stroller. Everyone rolled in on Friday night, and of course we had STUMPOS for dinner. Luke woke up around 3.30 to eat and I could instantly tell that my cold had hit him, he sounded like Nate snoring as he tried to breath. My heart sank. I felt so guilty knowing that I had given this to him! He went back to sleep but slept fitfully until dawn or so. I didn't get much sleep from 3.30 on as I was worried about him. That day he was clearly sick, but did not have a fever, so we again took him to the beach. Nate and I went to get lunch at Akroteria with Luke around 1 , and it was so hot that we started to feel guilty having him out. We walked him home. Poor kid was not able to sleep, so he was getting cranky and frustrated. Nate held him while I took a shower, and then we tried hard to get him to sleep. The issue was that with such a congested nose it was hard for him to sleep on his back. Nate went back to the beach and Luke and I spent the afternoon at home. That night he woke up around 10.30 with a fever of 100,7. I felt awful, and worried, and nervous. It was a long night. I got no sleep. Mom heard us up with Luke, and came down around 4 to find me crying, the baby crying, and a sleepy Nate equally frustrated and helpless. Mom took charge, sending Nate and I to bed to get some sleep and taking Luke from us. I went to bed crying with a bizarre mixture of relief and guilt. I knew that I needed sleep to help the baby, but I felt as though I was abandoning him. I woke up at 5.30 to find both Luke and Mom racked out on the couch. I was tempted to wake Mom and send her back to bed, but in all honesty they looked rather peaceful, so I left well enough alone and went back to bed. I repeated this at 6.30 with the same result. I finally woke for the day around 7.30, tired and worried about Luke. His fever had gone down to 99.5 but was still there. His little eyes were runny and he seemed beat. He also hadn't pooped in 6 days, despite our best efforts with the previously magic apple juice bottle trick. Poor guy. He was like a train wreck, a ticking poop laden time bomb with snot running down his face and a tired sick mother. Everyone gave him lots of cuddles, and eventually Jamie danced him to sleep. A dose of Tylenol and a call to the Dr put my mind at ease.........and by noon he was like a different kid already. Nate went out fishing, we went to the beach, and we had a great time. Luke slept a LOT, and his fever went away entirely. I was so grateful and was really able to enjoy my last day on the beach. That night we had a FANTASTIC feast of lasagna and all of the appropriate peripherals, then the whole gang walked to Charlies. We gave Luke a dab of ice cream and he didn't quite know what to make of it. In all honesty he seemed to prefer the soggy, spit up soaked baby bjorn, which he chewed on with a gusto. Mom and Dad found baby sunglasses that Velcro around the babies head, and bought them for Luke along with an adorable seersucker outfit and hat (how did my tiny baby get to be wearing 6-12 month clothes already at 14 weeks????)....We put the sunglasses on Luke and he immediately went into the most convincing Stevie Wonder imitation I have ever seen. He started turning his head back and forth over and over ~ it was HILARIOUS. My stomach hurt from laughing.
We headed home on Monday morning and went to a Bar B Que later that day at Chris and Laura's. Nate left this morning for FL so it is just me and the kid until late Thursday night. I have a MOUNTAIN of housework to do, and am sitting here hoping to avoid it for as long as possible. Luke is napping upstairs in the swing. Today is our first venture into the wide world of Playgroup. Yes, playgroup. I am now a mom who "playgroup's". Laura from my titty club is starting it. I will know her, Erin and Beth Lee, and there will be about 7 other girls there. I am really looking forward to getting to know other women with little's Luke's age and hope to make some good friends out of it. Will update as to how it goes later.

Okay, I am officially on the blogging board. And I am boring already!