Beach, Memorial Day Weekend 2011

Jake has a ball playing around with Luke and Pop Pop during a walk up to Uncle Charlies for Ice Cream.

Pop Pop and Luke playing the "throw rocks and try to hit the sign" game.

Big Jake played with the sand. For like 10 minutes. When he wasn't crying, sleeping, or nursing like a newborn.

A snooze in his Pop Pop arms.

Sweet Jake on the morning of his birthday.

Jake got an awesome first birthday present.....he got SICK! Miserably sick, in fact. Up all night crying and nursing like a newborn sort of sick! This is his first real illness and it was the suck! We actually came home from the beach early ~ which ended up being a great decision. More on all of this later. Sometimes what seems like crap luck turns out to be a great thing.

Luke finishes year two of preschool

Mom Mom came to the picnic with us!

Luke and Jules sing Happy Birthday to the summer birthday kids.

Luke with his best friends at school, Michael and Kyle, checking out a turtle.

Late May life.

Julia and her BFF at preschool, Madison, at their end of year picnic. The girls are attending a camp together this summer, and we will have playdates, but I am terribly sad that Madison is only doing 2 days next year as Julia goes to the three day class (because Luke is and I would rather drive a nail through my eye than drive to preschool every day of the week)

This is how the kids are with Jake, every.single.minute. Best big sibs I know.

Jake meets a lama at the fair. Lamas are freak shows, for the record. I have never seen a more jumbled looking animal, I swear it. They repel me, yet I find myself wanting to nurse them or somehow take them under my wing, for reasons I can't explain.

Julia. Perhaps I should look into horseback riding lessons? So happy.

Best.Friends.

Mkay. So Jake started walking. Walking meaning this drunken lurching wide legged fat thighed wonder of hands in the air take-seven-steps-before-launching-into-arms-sort of walking. He is way way still primarily a crawler, but he is taking enough steps in a row to make it blog worthy. I have tried to get some video but have two problems:

1. The shittastic 6 year old video camera (that I can't even download to my laptop for some reason) is at my SIL's house, since Easter. Our bad.

2. This week is BANANAS. B a N a N a SSSSSSS!

Between sick visits to the Dr's (Luke has strep and don't mess with a Mother's intuition, FTR Mr hotty Dr Man)....the other two going in today to get cultured for it, end of year picnics, haircuts, workouts, school, and the attempt to both pack for the beach and procure food, it is nuts around here!

Trying to just stay caught up at the moment.

A year ago tonight I was taking a shower with Nate crying in frustration as a good 8 hours of contractions seemed to be slowing. I fell asleep for about a moment before waking up with good strong contractions, and my water breaking. Tonight, I celebrate not being in labor, while feeling over the top appreciative of that massively dysfunctional yet completely beautiful process which brought sweet Jake Pants into the world two days from now. I took a good long run with my handsome blond running buddy today ~ as he sang me through 7 miles I just smiled....knowing that he was the one who gave me faith in my body, even though his labor made me doubt it more than anything in life ever has.

Bullets

Isn't she beautiful? I love her. She provides us with shade and I think of her as our friend watching our kids grow up beneath her.

Jake helped a lot. He also tried to drink straight out of Julia's watering can as she gave our tomatoes a drink. Wild child, dirt everywhere, deliriously happy.

I had to change him out on the deck as when I tried to undiaper him in the house a pile of dirt fell out of his onesie. Hot mess.

Luke seems about 14 to me in this picture. Baby? Where have you gone? While I miss the baby you were, I love and adore the kind, considerate and smelly little boy you have become. You are a wonderful big brother, Luke Dawg.

King Jake holds court in the playroom. He has chosen this chair as his throne.

*Awesome day of sunshine after seven straight days of rain. Tons of yard work and gardening got done.

*Hit the fair this afternoon. Pics to follow later.

*New tradition of spring/summer : Friends over for games on Friday nights, and effusive green salads topped with grilled steak on Saturday nights at home alone with the fam. Heaven.

*Luke and Jules are best friends. Truly, best friends. They shadow one another all day long, they parent one another as much as I parent them. I adore watching them interact. *Grateful*

*Jake is at a pinnacle of awesomeness. On the verge of walking, he is a joy and a wonder to behold. His little vocabulary and personality are blossoming, and watching him change before our eyes is awesome. He is such a funny little bugger. We have taken to calling him "King Jake" ~ he loves to hold court, whether in his high chair, his new stroller, or seated upon his newly taken throne in the playroom, he entertains us all. His laugh is infectious, his sleep is wonderful, and his delicious fat thighs simply melt me into a puddle of kissyloveness. He is my running buddy, my nursing champ, my love. He has started something new ~ after he nurses he sits up and claps his hands. Not kidding. It is like an ovation for lactation.

*We are absolutely raising inveterate gamblers. They love the ponies, just like their Dad and I do. Seeing them scream with delight at the start, listen with respect for the "riders up!" and root for "their" horse when watching the triple crown races delights me.

*Buddy (our 85 year old sprightly neighbor who we love and who owns the farm beside/behind us) gave me some rhubarb, so I am cooking it up for us (and them) tonight. It stank, raw. Interested to see if sugar and butter and an oven transforms it.

*With summer, and humidity, so return Julia's curls. I missed them!

*I don't know what else to say. My heart is full. My garden is growing. The kids are awesome. Nate is an incredible Dad and husband. I lose things, and crash into cars, and my floor is pretty dirty and my baby eats mud and whatnot, but my true treasures are intact. Thankful.

Jake turns 1

It's a week away but I had a free hour so.......

More later when I'm not teary. One week from today, right about now, I was holding my little boy for the very first time. Love you, Jake Pants.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Bring it.

I'm in a bad place.

I backed into our cleaning peoples car 10 days ago, and I lost my wallet today.

If there is a third thing coming my way, I pray that it only affects me, not the other people in my life.

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Day of the Mother and all that jazz.

So! Mothers Day.

It was a sunny, food laden, exercise filled sort of day. We got to spend time as a family, but also were lucky enough to be with Bec and Rich, Mom and Dad, Jan and Rich, Jeannie and Tim, Jimmy, Tommy, Pete, Alexis and Sam.

I'm beat. I was up early because I seem to wake early, new habit involves me being up and 6 and getting bored on the internet before the kids awake around 7. Not sure how I feel about this new habit. Going to bed earlier (tonight it may be 8:15 as Nate is away) offsets it. It works, I guess. This video is of the kids this morning. Jake is like 2 already, it seems. Just one of the crowd.

Anyway, it was a generally good Mothers Day, Jeannie and I had so much fun running in a race this afternoon and the weather was great....I am tired and off to bed.

Hope you had a great Mothers Day and that your husbands made you feel appreciated and loved!

Preschool is awesome.

She was so excited. It made me giggle.

I have no idea where she picked up the leg crossing thing. It was hilarious to see her doing this five seconds after hugging her friends in a pile of unladylikeness on the floor.

Very serious and focused at the start of "six little blackbirds".

I am utterly convinced that there is nothing that makes me feel more patriotic and proud than seeing 17 4 year olds saying the pledge of allegiance.

The kids and I trying to stare straight into the sun and smile, without success.

So there isn't much cuter than pre school Mothers Day programs. I didn't realize that the kids did not have regular school today, I had thought that their program was a part of regular school and was planning on attending both with Jake. When I found out that there was no regular school, just the two individual hour long programs, I was bummed because I knew that that would mean that I would have to attend both with the other kids in tow, hardly able to enjoy and focus on the individual kids and their much practiced songs and presents. Luckily my wonderful husband stepped in and took control of the others while allowing me to attend each program with undivided attention. I hope that this was my only Mothers Day gift, because it was all that I needed.

I got to see Luke and Jules, happy and healthy (unlike the Christmas program experience of horror) singing and performing at the top of their lungs. I was so proud of them. I cried through most of Luke's, getting my emotions out of the way to laugh and beam through Julia's. It was so much fun to see them perform the 7 or 8 songs that they had been hard at work learning, and to see their beautiful artwork and receive their handmade presents.

Kiddos, I was so proud of you today. I loved seeing you interact with your friends and teachers, and to sit around in a puddle of emotions with the other Mothers as you guys honored us. You could not have given me a better gift, and your beautiful artwork made the playroom windows glow with colorful paintings and pictures. I am so lucky to be your Mama.

Goals, and kids, and stupidness.

We did it!

The race was awesome. Of course, being me, I was up at 4 for the day, because I was worried that my alarm would not work at 5 (can't remember the last time I had to personally set an alarm clock.....kids have replaced early morning meetings or flights, and they are way more effective and insistent than an alarm clock ever was). All of my nervousness was gone, and I was simply excited. I pumped while I ate and downed coffee and played on the internet.......and took off for Jeannie's house.

This is the dorky part. I was driving Nate's car and listening to Casey Casum count down the top 20 from 1988 (love xm) and it was this beautiful misty red clouded sunrisey sort of morning. As I drove past the land preserve in Edgemont and was taking in the awesomeness of George Michael singing "Father Figure" (while I sang along in my horrible voice at the top of my lungs) and witnessed the beauty of where I live in the lovely foggy bright dawn moments.....I started crying! I felt positively overwhelmed ~ so grateful to be awake at 6 am, to be driving to my best friends home, to be healthy, to have pumped milk secured for my still sleeping baby in a bottle (that he takes!) to have a husband who was going to watch our children all morning so that I could run, to have won a free entry into the race, to have the luck and health and luxury of participating in events like I was about to....it was all just too wonderful. I thought about being 36 weeks pregnant on the day of this event last year, and thinking "that would be cool to do next year....." and here I was, doing it. I felt so, so lucky.

The race was awesome. The energy of 30,000 people was intoxicating. I felt high. I didn't even notice that I was running for most of it!

The thing that I remember most clearly was the 9 mile marker. I was running up the left side of the street, and there was this whole gaggle of little girls all dolled up and holding signs above their sweet little heads reading "GO MOMMY! YOU CAN DO IT!" and I promptly burst into tears. The sight of these sweet girls cheering on their Mama, (and every Mama, in my case) was just too much for me. I thought of my Julia, I thought of my Luke (who called me as I got out of the car in center city and told me to "win the race, Mama!") and I just felt so uplifted. I think that little girls who grow up watching or cheering for their Mama as she accomplishes her own goals (however trivial they may be) are lucky. Jules, those little girls (and you) served as my impetus for the sub 7 minute mile I clocked from mile 9-10. You drove me. I hope that you enact every single dream that you hold dear, my girl.

We had so.much.fun. I had a goal in mind (this was my first ever race of anything like this distance so I had no idea what to expect) and I beat it, so that thrilled me. We had a wonderful brunch with 15 post race runners/spouses afterwards, and I felt all glowy and happy and simply lucky. Some days are just perfect, and this was one of them.

I picked up some salmon at Hill's on the way home, and arrived home around 2 to find Nate relaxing on the couch as all three kids slept. I gushed on and on about the race, and was so happy to hear that they had watched it on TV looking for me. We had a wonderful night as a family, one of those nights where I just felt uniquely aware of all of the joy in my life and held them closely.

I never imagined myself as a runner, but that day I felt like one. The kids proudly trotted my medal around all night and talked about the race. I think that the reason that I run is to show them, in an easy and definable way, that exercise is awesome. That being strong is great. That it is okay to set goals (whether they are having a homebirth or running a race) and to simply do your best. Sometimes your best may not work out in the way you envisioned it, and sometimes it may work out beyond your wildest dreams.

The key is in believing. The key is in taking the risk. The key is hope, and faith, and trust. The key is also in acceptance, that sometimes the work is enough, not the result. On this day, the work paid off. And I am reveling in it.