Oh Daddy~O

Happy birthday Nate!

I had a hard time picking one or two pics of you and Luke as I went looking through our pictures. Seeing the pictures of last Feb and you telling everyone in the waiting room that "ITS A BOY!", to you being passed out with a newly born Luke in the hospital, reading to him on the beach in Cape May, taking in the ocean in Myrtle Beach, rooting for the horrible Jets's with your son, playing in the leaves this fall, to celebrating the 7 fish dinner this Christmas after moving into our new home..........needless to say I could not just choose one or two. I cried looking at them all! Luke is incredibly blessed to call you his Dad. I am incredibly blessed to call you my husband.

I love the way that his entire face lights up when you come in the door from a business trip and he runs to you and grabs your leg. I love the way he lays on your chest and has that last bottle of the evening with you in the big chair. I love the way he sits on your lap and peers into your face if you are paying attention to something other than him for a moment. I love the way you make him belly laugh. I love it that you can clean up spit up OR puke without gagging anymore. Seeing you as a Dad makes me happier than anything else on Earth. Thank you for being this little guys hero. You are mine too.

Happy birthday.

Showers and Baths

Its been crazy busy lately. I was surprised not once, but TWICE with baby showers this past week. Wednesday the wonderful and amazing and sweet and generous girls from playgroup SHOCKED me with a baby shower. The above pic is of me cutting the cake (and Luke plotting how he can EAT the cake). It was such a sweet and thoughtful gesture and immediately made me cry (more on the crying in a moment). Then on Saturday I went to a "tea" that Deb throws "every year" (wink wink) ~ but instead of it being a tea for her neighbors and a bunch of people that I have never met it was a baby shower with my family and friends! I was S.H.O.C.K.E.D. I was so "showered" with love and gifts just a year ago that the thought of having another baby shower this go round simply never entered my mind. That said, it was wonderful to take some time amidst the people that I love to get to celebrate and anticipate this new little life who is about to join us. Huge thank yous to all who participated (and to all of you sneaky little liars out there ~ I had no idea about either shower!) ~ I simply feel so loved and so happy that we are bringing this new little life into such a supportive and loving environment.

Thank you.

In other news, I seem to have entered into the emotional end weeks of pregnancy. I cried at shower #1. I cried at shower #2. I cried because I was sad that we were moving Luke into his new furniture. I cried when I thought I left my wallet at Starbucks (I didn't). I cried when Nate ate the pizza that I wanted for lunch. I cried when Luke spilled my coffee all over his stuffed animals and rug this morning. Lots of crying. Don't let it fool you ~ I'm very very happy. Simply very very big and very very emotional. We got the nursery (Deuce's) set up yesterday and got all of Luke's new big guy furniture and crib into his room. I am thrilled to say that I love the way that it looks! I went and bought more little tiny hangers today and washed the first load of newborn clothes.....they are now clean and tiny and incredibly sweet hanging in the closet just waiting for a little boy or girl to fill them. I literally started laughing out loud when I pulled out the newborn diapers to fill the drawer today ~ are you KIDDING me? Those things are TINY! I just cant believe how little Luke was. He's over 26 lbs these days and although he is SOOOO my 'baby' I know that one day in a few short weeks he is going to seem like some giant KID in comparison to the wee one we are going to bring home. I'm not sure that I'm really ready for the little guy to become the big guy, if you know what I mean.

Luke has a new trick in the bathtub. He is obsessed with laying down on his belly and sticking his whole face into the water. He sits up laughing and sputtering and wiping the water out of his eyes. He also officially loves the shower ~ Our new shower is inanely huge ~ Nate takes Luke in the shower with him and lets the little guy run around in the water under the spray ~ Luke runs back and forth cracking up. No fear of water in this little one.

Dancin Man

Here is Luke getting his groove on tonight. The dance party started once his clothes came off after dinner ~ Luke had his hands up above his head until I told him that his Dad pretty adamantly believes that only hippie's and girls EVER dance with their arms above their heads.......he immediately segued into the more traditionally male "hands in front of body feet not moving" white guy shuffle. The diaper and shoes really complete the look....don't you think? I mean, its a wonder you don't see that look more frequently on the dance floor. Luke's bringing sexy back.

He is also proudly sporting his very first pair of real kid shoes. Now that he walks everywhere I felt that it was time to get him into some real soled shoes. He seems to like them. He has fat little size 5.5 W feet,and he was a charmer through the entire foot measuring experience at the shoe store. His walking was a little funny in the new kicks, hopefully he gets used to them tomorrow.

Luke is a toddler

So we went and did our will on Friday. Its strange contemplating your death, your money, your children's life without you. Its weird putting your "net worth" down on paper for a stranger to wade through. Its strange considering what they called the "A bomb scenario" in which we both die, Luke dies, and all of our estate goes to someone else. Hell, just hearing the phrase A-Bomb is strange, when is the last time you heard that one?

Anyway, I am officially declaring Luke a toddler now. He is no longer a baby, somehow. He walks everywhere he wants to go. He understands more words and phrases. He has opinions, and can make his wants pretty clearly known. He knows what it is to be tempted (I swear I can almost SEE the angel sitting on one shoulder and the devil on the other every time Luke so much as looks in the direction of the dog food bowl), and he is starting to learn who the heck everyone is (mom, dad, dog, etc). We went out to lunch today after a scintillating trip to Home Depot and Luke officially ate his first Cheeseburger (and even a french fry and a taste or two of chocolate milkshake, if you are going for the experience, might as well go all in). I cant even tell you how big my little man looked sitting there at the table, shoving cheeseburger into his face with both hands. Lets just say it was a big hit. I was kicking myself for not having the camera with us!

White Stuff

This is Luke checking out today's snowfall. On our way to the gym we took a quick pit stop into the back yard to check it out. Luke was a fan. When the snow would hit his face he opened and closed his mouth in this really strange and funny guppy imitation. I don't know what all that was about, but of course it made me laugh so hard that I kept turning his face up to the snow to see the show again.

Speaking of funny shows !~ today I did an "Aerobox" class at the gym. I kept looking in the giant full wall mirror that was (unfortunately) directly and unavoidably right in front of my face, and thinking that if I only had a video camera with me I could undoubtedly make some money off of myself and how utterly silly I looked. I have this GIANT belly, and was bouncing around the room doing jabs and uppercuts to the air. Lets not even talk about the kicking. Ever tried to kick with a basketball under your shirt? Try it out sometime, preferably in front of a full length mirror. You will likely fall over laughing. Pregnancy really teaches you to laugh at yourself.

I am thrilled to report that Luke is back to being Captain Sunshine. After a week and an half of general sickness and the accompanying change in schedule AND demeanor, we are BACK, baby. I had missed my little easy going kid. Motherhood once again feels easy.

The 4th Quarter

Everyone always talks about pregnancy in terms of trimesters, but lately I have been thinking that its really more like a basketball game, with 4 quarters. Your first 10 weeks have the initial excitement of the tip off, and then not much happens (From the fan's perspective, anyway). The huge point swings mirror the Mom to be's huge emotional swings, but don't really matter much, things tend to even out over time. The second quarter (weeks 10-20)things start to heat up a little, and just like that last important momentum shift before halftime, you generally have the excitement of your 20 week ultrasound to keep you horribly anxious and excited. Then comes the third quarter, weeks 20-30, the action is heating up, baby is moving all over, and you start to feel (and look!) big. People tune in more.

Then. The 4th quarter. I am in week 31 now, and things are starting to move fast. This baby is coming really soon. The action starts to really matter. You move to biweekly, then weekly appointments, much like the frequent time outs. No one is changing the channel anymore. This lasts until about 37/8 weeks or so, then it becomes EXACTLY like the last two minutes of a basketball game. Waking up each day thinking "gosh, today could be the day"....getting calls from the anxious "fans" as to whether or not anything is happening, enjoying those last few moments when your baby is truly still all "yours" tucked away in there in your belly, but really really feeling ready to meet them on the other side. Like the last 2 min of the game, with all of its fouls and timeouts and TV breaks, those last two weeks can seemingly last forever.

I have to say, I have noticed that the average person really WANTS pregnant women to complain. I cant even believe how socially accepted, even ENCOURAGED it is for a pregnant woman to moan her way through her pregnancy. Yes, your hips hurt. Yes, you have heartburn, and the baby moves a lot, and those little hiccups that used to be so endearing are suddenly not so when its 3 am and your belly is hiccuping with all the weight of a several pound baby. And YES! you are huge and your self confidence is shaky as you look in the mirror and think "who is that beast?" ~ But you know what? Theres a PERSON in there! Of COURSE its a little uncomfortable! You are experiencing literally the greatest miracle of life, in my opinion.

Consider this my vent about the fact that I feel great, and even when I tell people that, its almost like they don't want to hear it. "just you wait".....is something I hear a lot. Well, I have been there, and done that, and I know whats coming. And you know what, I still feel great. And to anyone else out there who is able to enjoy your pregnancy ~ MORE POWER TO YOU MAMA!

Playgroup today ~ cant wait :)

Who's your Daddy?

You know you see it.

If not for the blue eyes, blond hair, and 2'6 inch vs 6'6 height thing, its virtually him.

The times they are a changin

I used to be a hippy. I used to not shave my armpits or legs (sorry for that visual folks). I used to be a very vocal vegan, with no health insurance, and no current drivers license, traipsing merrily around the country, climbing mountains, attending potlucks that actually ended with "group hugs" (!) working to "save" sea turtles, old growth forests, beaches faced with erosion etc etc, and eating mochi with nary a care in the world. I used to be a lot more self righteous. I used to want to save the world, to "empower women", to legalize marijuana, to change the political face of America, blah blah blah (Mom and Dad M I do hope you still love me after reading that....I was young :))
Anyway. I remember coming home from Seattle one time to visit my family for my brothers high school graduation. I went shopping with my Mom and Sister at "Sam's Club" to stock up on some things for the party. I remember being in this mega-lo-warehouse with fluorescent lights, giant dead cows in the freezer (well, not really whole dead cows, but like, 300 count packs of hamburger patties, which to me at the time was the very same thing)......a veritable shrine to the whole "bigger is better' philosophy of America that I so loathed at the time. I was used to our little "Olympia Food Co-Op" where I volunteered making food for the Salad bar in order to get an additional 15% off of all of my purchases. They sold nothing that contained raw sugar (That Devil!) or anything that was from China (human rights abuses! Down with Chinese Pine Nuts!!!!) and the patchouli and homemade soap aisle was the most well stocked. Anyway, walking through this mega lo warehouse with my Mom and Sister I had a panic attack. I was so overwhelmed, my delicate sensibilities so affronted, that I literally had to leave the store and sit on a curb outside to catch my breath.

Last week, we joined one of those big box superstores. And you know what? Love it.

I also have a confession to make, that ties in with another sign of the changing landscape of my life. One of my greatest fears in having children was the thought of having to take them to Disneyland. Now, to all of you Disney enthusiasts out there~ Hooray! More power to you. Personally, I hate lines. I hate muggy landlocked Florida, I hate the idea of a place where you are supposed to be "happy all the time". Mickey gives me the creeps (he does not talk! A giant silent mouse ~ uggggh!) and I skeeve any sweatshirt or article of clothing that has a "character" on it. I absolutely love the fact that other people love it, but to me the thought of a "Disney Vacation" makes me queasy. Anyway.
I also don't like cruises. Now, I have to admit, I have never been on a cruise......I just always sortov assumed that cruises were not for me. I pictured giant lines of unhealthy people in half unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt waiting to "feed" at the buffet line. I know, I know, I fully accept that I am a terrible and judgemental person, but at least I am honest. Anyway. Last week we got invited to go on a cruise ~ A DISNEY CRUISE ~ with about 25 other couples and their kids. And you know what....we just might go. I wish I was more tech savvy, this is when the Dylan song "the Times they are a changing" ought to start playing for your listening enjoyment.

I still love the idea of empowered women, of happy healthy sea turtles, of buying locally, of healthy food and a smaller footprint. I still skeeve Disney, and am slightly afraid of cruise's. (Both Tom and Katie AND the ship sort)

But I love my family. I love my kid (s). I can laugh at myself a lot more these days. I love not having to deal with all of the gloom that came with trying to "change the world", quite honestly. I love having my little corner of the world where my greatest concern is not "where the hell did those PINE NUTS come from!" but, "is my son happy?"

The above pic is of my happy son gleefully noshing on some yogurt and berries. And yes, the Yogurt did contain some "devil sugar".

Now, if you ever catch me in a Disney Sweatshirt, please stage an intervention.

Crystal Clear

I had often wondered how one knew the difference between spit up and throw up.

Now I don't wonder anymore. Luke spent the day projectile vomiting several times. Ugh. Poor critter stayed in relatively good spirits despite his empty stomach, and it appears that the storm may have passed as since about 2 PM today he is vomit free. I'm starting to think that my little cult of a gym is really just a fermenting ground for some mad scientists experimental germ lab.

Anyway. For any Mama's who have yet to deal with the throw up thing, let me tell you. Its not pretty. Its amazing how much liquid these little babies house within them. And it stinks. Like big people puke. All in all its an experience that I don't recommend (especially when your baby decides that the best time to unleash his first ever torrent of puke is inside of his Dad's brand new car, while strapped into his brand new carseat!) Poor car. Poor baby. Poor us.

Drinking the Kool Aid

Here is Luke flexing for the camera. I know, I know, he's a total stud. I try not to brag ;).

I took this the other night during our nightly Naked~time/Pajama Mama/Spaz hour between dinner and pajamas/bed (I'm editing this to add that Luke is the Naked one ~ Not the Mama.....) . Luke gets into an absolute frenzy, squealing with delight as the clothes come off and he gets to wreak havoc amongst the toys and random delights of his room. I felt about the same way tonight as I stuffed myself into my uber sexy maternity bathing suit for a "water workout" class at the gym.

Sidebar ~ Our gym is a cult. Before we joined I used to call it "the cult", as it seemed that everyone who was a member there was drinking the Gym Kool Aid a la Jim Jones. Now I see why. Any gym that has its own spa, water park, restaurant, and children's programs out the yin yang absolutely positively becomes a sort of mecca to Mom's like me. Speaking of Mom's like me, in the event that I am ever feeling even slightly creative in my decision to get married, make babies, and dare to try to retain my girlish figure (chuckle) all I need do is walk in the door of the "cult" to remind me that I am a dime a dozen. Trite. Common. The Mom's of my gym are legendary. Skinny little things. The bigger I get the smaller they seem. That goes for anyone, by the way......I swear all of my friends at playgroup today appeared waif like and frail.....but I know that its just that they are healthy and normal and to even see a waistline inspires some sort of weird nostalgic wistfulness in me at the moment. I used to have one of those, you know.

Anyhow. Sidebar over. I had an awesome time swimming and jumping around for an hour. I miss the very act of jumping. With the move and the holidays I had not been to the gym in about 4 weeks and I didn't even realize how much I missed it until tonight. I'm now proudly back on track. With only 11 or so weeks left of this pregnancy I figure its now or never.

We also had playgroup this morning, where Luke got to lavish his walking skills amongst his friends. (again, with the move it had been a few weeks since I had been able to go to playgroup, and was missing the interaction with my friends madly). While I stuffed my face Luke lurched around the room like a drunken Frankenstein with beer goggles lavishing wet kisses on the other kids. My kid, the lurching lover.