Fun with friends

 Fun with the Mullen Kids last night as we enjoy a night with friends in their beautiful new home. Jake has SO much fun eating delicious smoked ribs that he gags himself and christens their gleaming hardwood floors with his official first vomit......alllllll over the floor. That was sexy. And awkward. And like good friends do (especially good friends with 4 young kids of their own) we simply all jumped into the great puke clean up and moved along with a lovely evening. Way to make your first puke a memorable one, Jakey boy!

 Last weekend we hosted the D'Iorios here, and the kids gleefully harvested a mountain of blackberries. We ate some....but as they didn't discriminate very well between ripe or unripe, I later cooked them down into a delicious hot berry topping for ice cream (some sugar fixes even the tartest berry!) and we ate them with sponge cake and vanilla ice cream. Good work kids!

 On our way to a family night function at Nates school this weekend. Julia insisted on flowers in her hair, and with an abundance of black eyed susan's blooming in our yard her wish was easy to oblige. They came home adorned in face paint, with a multitude of balloon creations, danced out, and happy as clams as I tucked them into bed at 9:30, tired, but deliriously happy.

Friday morning I had to head out to a Dr appointment. We had finished breakfast and I was upstairs trying to make myself look presentable......while a dress up party was underway downstairs. This was what I came downstairs to :)

We are deeply entrenched in summer here at chez mangan. The kids are happy and easy, Nate is working and studying and for the most part we are used to the drill, I am thrilled to be crutch free, if limping and lurching around a bit, and while our life is still small (ie we aren't able to do things like the zoo, this was to be our second week at the beach and I cancelled it due to my weakness, the kids don't seem to know that anything is lacking in their world. In fact, we are finding a lot of joy in small things. We have started playing school, which is a blast, and the kids have no idea that what we are really doing is practicing the testing that Luke is about to undergo for Kindy placement. It helps to have a WCASD reading specialist in the family, who was eager to tell me all about how they test the incoming kindy kids and then sort them. We have been doing some fun math and reading things around here lately, and the kids love it! I'm so not a teacher, and I'm so not one of those "MY KIDS HAVE TO BE ADVANCED" people, but when the kids clearly want to learn things, and we are limited in where we can go and what we can do....well? Why not? So. Thats new. I feel like summer is winding down quickly, yet at the same time many of the best weeks of it lie directly ahead of us. My Mom is coming up from the beach this week to spend some time with the kids since we didn't come down as planned and she misses them. We are going to do small things ~ our pool. Maybe the Goshen fair (Super hick fun). Maybe Milky way farm. Definitely some decorating as we have some big plans around here ~ we are getting rid of the remaining two rooms of carpet and replacing them with hardwood, and beginning the search for a contractor to finish our basement. Mom is the only one I trust to help me with that stuff, I am officially decorating challenged, and my impetuous nature leads me to just say "whatever! Thats great!" and that is a bad way to make important decorating decisions. Hence, Mom. So this week is Mom Mom week, next week is camp week at a nature center, long camp, too, 9:30-2;30, which will be good as it will begin this transformation to no naps (I say this and its 4:30 and all three kids are still napping......these kids who in 4 weeks are going to be in school all afternoon, oy). and then the following week Luke has his Kindy testing one morning then that afternoon he and Jules are going to go visit Grandma and Grandpa from Tues afternoon till Friday Morning, which will thrill them. After that? Labor day......and then SCHOOL! Kindergarden! I get teary, but then when I step back I'm okay with it. He's ready. He really is. I know it. Luke is going to do great. 

Oh no! Afternoon SCHOOL?

So last Thursday I got the letter I had been waiting for. The "official" letter from Luke's kindergarten which was supposed to say "AM Kindergarten" was supposed to arrive any day and I was eagerly awaiting its arrival and all of the fun details that I supposed that it would contain. Around here Kindergarten times are determined solely by bus routes. As our neighbor 2 houses down had just finished kindy this past year and had been AM, I felt confident that we, being the same bus route, would also be AM. You know what they say about assuming.

The letter showed up, and my jaw literally dropped as it said "PM". I panicked a little. My kids ALL still nap. Every day. For a couple of hours.

Now, I know they can lose the nap, I really do. I mean, they are 5.5 and 4.5. I know they can handle it. But this messes up everything for ME! My whole plan of achieving things like food shopping or household jobs in the morning is now out the window. I had a moment of clarity in which I realized I could switch Jules to PM pre-k, and within minuets I was on the phone with her preschool director. That was done in a hurry as there is a huge waiting list for morning pre K. This means that the kids and I will either go to the gym or do some sort of activity together in the mornings m-f. Lunch at home, then off to the bus and I will drive Jules to school. Home for naps and I will probably nap or cook, then off to pick up then meet Luke's bus (which thankfully is right out front). My Mom volunteered to babysit so I could get things done on Wednesdays, and I will hire Erika one afternoon a week during the year when Brooke goes back to teaching. Jules will have school 4 days a week, and will be home with me on Thursdays, giving us some fun 1:1 time while Jake naps.

It's a very very different fall than I envisioned. Now that I have had a few days to come to terms with it, I'm very at peace with it. To be honest, it may be nice. As they were surely going to drop their nap at some point, it might make for more peaceful afternoons for me, and less time trying to keep them quiet and/or from distracting Nate as he works. It is going to force me to rest more as my afternoons I will be tied to the house now, and as I am still coming off of this injury that may be a real blessing. I don't know.......I just know that everything happens for a reason and surely there is a silver lining in there somewhere :).

Red day, and a week of more normalcy.

 We capped off camp today with Red day. Each day of dropping off got less stressful as I learned how to do it right ~ which meant getting there at least 20 minutes early to secure a spot in the lot. The kids loved the camp, and especially the music......and the CD that was filled with some rockin kids bible songs. Now, we don't attend church anymore, so these songs led to MANY interesting questions in the car. That is going to have to be its own post (the one about how we are theologically messing with our kids a bit)....but it still needs some sorting out in my own mind first. Lets just say they were fun conversations. ;)

 While I planted our front door planters ~ Jake had a blast with the sprinkler. He loves to put his face directly into it and shriek with joy as the water hits him full bore. It is impossible to watch his antics without laughing :)

Captain googleyeyes. He took the goggles very seriously, and wore them the whole afternoon. They squished his big chubby cheeks down so hard that when he tried to smile all he could come up with was this wierd square mouthed grimace sort of thing, which was hilarious. With both ears pressed down, and the grimace, and the bad hair cut. he was truly a sight to behold. Jake loves his puddlejumper, and I can't believe the way the kid is swimming. He gets himself all the way through the deep end, kicking his feet, or can just float there, kicking his feet and treading water, for a really long time. So much fun to watch his affinity for the water at such an early age ~ Jake keeps up just fine with the Bigs in the pool and it makes swimming with the three of them so much fun. This week Luke learned how to cannonball into the deep end, and also taught himself how to do front and back flips under the water. 

We are making baby steps towards normal. This week I had Erika here M/W/F from 3-7, and Brooke from 12:30 till 6 on Tuesday and Thursday. I loved my mornings along with the Jakester ~ Jake is like my little boyfriend, and I could not possibly have a cooler or more compliant and loving boyfriend. He is sweet, and easy, and so go with the flow that it astounds me. He is just a joy to be around. 

I learned that the trick to an easy nap time transition was having lunches made and sitting on the table when we walked in from pick up at 12:30, so Jake helped me make the sandwiches every day. He's good! We'd walk straight in to lunch, so that by 1 everyone was tucked into bed for naps. We had to wake them every day ~ rousing warm, sweet smelling kids from their dreams is such a fun task, they are so stuck in the in between place for a minute or two, so warm and sweet and dazed and cuddly, and I just love curling up around them and feeling them stretch and yawn and sigh as they exit the dream world so slowly and languidly. Its beautiful. 

We were at the pool every day but one and then I would prep dinner and Erika or Brooke would either change the kids or bathe the kids as I got dinner on the table, and we would all eat together. It was really great, I appreciated the extra set of hands as Nate was gone all week, and remains gone through late tomorrow afternoon. 

I rested most days when they rested, except for Thursday, when I took off for my first trip to the mall to procure a new dress and a few other things for our big trip to DC next week. I was a little nervous heading in, but had a plan, executed it, and was successful! I'm very much looking forward to a little bit of alone time with Nate, as that is hard to come by, these days. 

I feel like a lot of little things happened this week. Small tasks that would have felt impossible to me 2 weeks ago are done, and it was fun doing them. We haven't had the TV on at all, instead going to card games at night after the pool. The kids love it. Uno. Memory. Go Fish. Sequence. So much nicer to sit and interact when their little bodies are tired and relaxed than to just turn on the TV and watch them zone out. I feel like I'm close, really close, to being able to go to just Brooke next week, and not needing daily help. Nate will be travelling again early in the week, so we are either going to be setting up playground play dates, or pool play dates, or maybe even a matinee with the kids one day if I can find someone to watch Jake for a couple of hours for me. 

My kids are all in bed, the laundry is all done, I'm going to do one quick and OCD vacuum of the downstairs, and crawl into bed with my book that I can't put down. 

Kids, you have really, really learned how to help me. YOu grab my crutch for me without being asked. You automatically hold the door for me without being asked. You have become so helpful, and I hope that one of the blessings of this break is that it creates in you an awareness and an empathy for people who are disabled or who may need some extra help. That would be a great thing if it could be a natural offshoot of this time where I needed you, and you helped me. 

I hope that whoever is still reading this is off to the start of a wonderful weekend.                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Two Steps.

 The wash. She was so composed. I swear she was considering the tip. She has never had this done before. 

The dry. She chose her part side. I was just giggling like a school girl on my crutches in my chair by her side. WHO is this child?

So. Today was the antithesis of yesterdays mania. I owe big apologies to my kids school. In my "unchristian" like rant....what I really mean is that I have blind eyes to everyones situation but mine. Because while my kids school is drop off/pick up, so I don't actually go in but for special occasions, I admit that there have been PLENTY of special of occasions in the past three years. And in those three years, I have blindly walked RIGHT past the elevator, situated directly to the side of the two flights of stairs that I complained about yesterday. So while I complained yesterday about the parking, and purposely woke up at 5:30 today (okay, it wasn't on purpose, but because of a racing mind because I was nervous about it all), and got there 20 minutes early to secure a parking lot spot, and walked a full lap around the building with a rising ire about their un-handicapped friendliness......only to find out that there was an ELEVATOR from JULIA of all people....well, I was grateful. And I can tell you, that I feel stupid a lot of the time, because I am still prone to bursting into random tears when I see friends. Like, I ran into a friend from the gym who used to live right behind us, (who has three kids 6 and under of her own) and she was all "How ARE you DOING" and I was all "I'm Oh-Oh Oh Ohkayyyyyy, really, no, we are doing okay, its been hard but I'm getting bett-bett-better *big smile* :)......." and I came home to a face book message from her asking if she could take my kids to the pool after camp. So. So I guess I'm not all that much of a stone wall, and all. But, I knew that about me :)

I didn't need to take her up on it because our lovie Brooke was coming at 12:30. So. I knew I was worn out from yesterday. The key to life, I'm learning, is staying TWO steps ahead. In my old life, it was being one step ahead. With a bad leg, it's two steps. Like, I had to have the kids clothes laid out for today, my clothes, breakfast set up, the dishwasher emptied, the coffee set up, etc. 

I had to wake the kids up (Jules and Jake, that is, Luke was up and building Lincoln log houses), breakfast was exhausting. The bigs dressed themselves in their laid out clothes, I was dressed before they awoke, the coffee made itself. As I went to braid Jules hair I realized that it was unusually difficult to brush, even with her bath and conditioner and brush out last night, and it dawned on me that she had only had one haircut (other than mullet trims) in her 4/5 years. So, I called the salon. And, a mother/daughter date was born. 

I came home from the drop off and laid on the couch reading a totally absorbing book (thanks Shan!) as Jake laid on me yelling "HUGS!!!!!" over and over, and alternately crashing cars on or around me. It was uncharted territory, we've never been lazy like that together, and it was wonderful. At the end of it sweet wonderful Jeannie showed up with a dinner for us, and we raced off 40 minutes early to secure a stupid parking spot for pick up. Brooke showed up and we had lunch together. The kids napped while I ran an errand, then I napped/blogged, then took Jules to her haircut. She was so damn cute it killed me. We got home at 4, I laid down and read again, and prepped Jeannies dinner after waking Jake at 5 from his nap (WTH is with this kid???) and the kids played outside. Brooke ate with us, and we played memory until bedtime at 7:30.......and I'm about to go to bed myself. Jules hair looks so different all straight, and I feel absolutely fantastic after a day of mostly rest with some kid pick up/drop off and some mother daughter dating thrown in. THANK YOU JEANNIE for a delicious dinner, we love you so much, so much......I don't know what the heck this blog post is even about, other than to say that its really hard to get out with three kids, it's really easy to rest when Brooke is around, and it's really fun to do things with Jules, and all of the kids, when the dinner is all cleaned up, and I have help......thank goodness for Brooke when Nate is out of town. Seriously. Kids, you are going to look back on your life and remember your childhood differently because of Brooke's involvement in it. There was WAY less yelling this summer, WAY less chaos, WAY more fun, just because of her.  It was a great day. As long as I plan carefully, stay two steps ahead, and have some help, our days are wonderful, hip and all. 

Orange day. Oh my.

I really, truly, didn't think that anything on earth could get Julia to wear one of her brothers shirts. All it took, however, was my mention of something called "orange day" (which I was informed of via email on, like Sunday, not that I would have gone out and gotten something special, anyway, I suppose).....on Monday, and Jules went tearing upstairs to look through her drawers and closet.

She came downstairs with a quivery lip saying that she didn't have anything.

I came up with an orange sweatshirt. It was, of course, going to be 90. When I went up to pick something out for Luke, I found this T shirt that my Mom had bought his eons ago. When I suggested it to Jules, her eyes lit up, and she screamed "YES! I WILL FIND SOMETHING TO MATCH WITH IT" and when I went into her room she had the entire ensemble laid out, shirt, skirt, shoes....all ready to go. Jake, of course, isn't going to camp, but Luke insisted that he wear Orange, too.

It was my first day driving today in 4 full weeks. 4 weeks ago today our lives all changed rapidly and without warning, mine, of course, the most so.

I'm still struggling, to be honest. Simple things take me twice as long, and my hip still hurts a lot. I get overheated and frustrated easily, and my patience with the healing process can wear thin. I know that I am getting better but that does not always mean that the days are easy.

Having the time alone with Jake is nice, and after running myself quite ragged today, I look forward to a more restful day tomorrow. Tomorrow is "Blue day". Julia has chosen her outfit carefully, and I just may die trying to get all three kids into the very un handicapped camp (which happens to be at their school, which happens to be at a church, and camp happens to start in the sanctuary, which happens to be up TWO SETS of steps, which happens to feel very unchristian like to this Mom of three on crutches). And THAT is all I have to say about THAT.

My poor sweet blog....I'm back.

 This picture of my Jules freaks me out a little. Because I can see her. Not the baby her, but the girl her, which is ultimately the woman her. And WOW. I'm not ready to see the girl her, even though I catch glimpses of that girl, and ultimately that woman, every day as this wee lass mothers our Jake, or is kind and helpful to me or her siblings. I also see it in the way that she makes shrewd and independent decisions which wow me ~ this little girl is going to do great things. She proves to me, on a daily basis, what a quick mind, and a fierce little spirit tempered by a desire to help others, or empathy, that just really bowls me over. Julia is cool, sometimes shy, sometimes fierce, sometimes incredibly nurturing.....but always, ALWAYS, Jules. And I would not have her any other way. In the course of any given day she is the child who I have to correct or discipline the least. She is also the one who I have not had to entertain in about 3 years. She has her own thing going on, and she is very good at it. 

 This is Jake, inside his baby nap haven, with Brooke overlooking him. Jake would know when it was his nap time, and often time resist going in the ocean, and point to his stroller, or start saying night night to people, when he wanted to nap. He would kiss us, and Brooke (our favorite person on Earth) and go get a quick shower, get patted down with baby powder (if you are the beach going sort and don't know the magical powers of baby powder when it comes to sand removal talk to me), then get a diaper, climb in his stroller, get a towel thrown over his legs for shade, get pushed back and forth for shade by the surf, fall asleep in about 5 minutes, then get parked under umbrella #2 and sleep for 2-3 full hours despite numerous shouting kids and all sorts of various inturreptions. Jake, is awesome. We started keeping him up late so that we could fit in our long days of baseball and friends and fireworks and all....and he started compensating by sleeping till 10:30 or so. We had to wake him up to get to the beach by 11 as planned. Many nights we stayed till 7. It was blissful. 

 The Dude and his very grateful and slightly lame Mama. 

 Jules and her handsome Daddy enjoy some cuddles in the morning. 

 Powdered up baby pre-games it for his power sleep

 Luke catches his first Fluke, all by himself, His second was about half Luke's size. He fed all 6 of us, by himself, and literally caught them himself. Big thanks to Pop Pop, Frank and Daddy for making this happen. He was SO proud of it. Big moment was when a huge Mako swam by the boat~ Luke saw it and Frank threw out a leader ~ Luke, proving that Sharks are innately frightening to humans, grabbed onto Nate's leg. I love that. Love it. Just so........human. He innately knew that that really big shark was a danger to him ~ had no fear of being 8 miles offshore, no sea sickness, no issues with bait or catching fish....but he saw that big shark and his little brain said: FEAR. So cool. Our bodies are awesome. 

 Julia got her first pedicure with me. She was hilarious. She got to pick our color all by herself. Sortov. I steered her away from the really weird purple and into a lovely "watermelon" which we both are sporting. It was such a fun experience to share with my girl. As Daddy and Luke were fishing, we were pedicuring, Jake and Brooke were bike riding. It was date morning for everyone. Beach afternoon rounded the day out for all of us, then we ended the day with eating Luke's fish and mini golfing with the bigs as Brooke put Jake to bed. What a day :)

 My girl. Jules has officially come into her athletic little self. No more standing on the sidelines, Jules has firmly identified herself as a baseball player and swimmer. She is a killer little boogie boarder ~ she blew us away with her tenacity and lack of fear out there in the ocean. I was so freaking proud of her. She was amazing. 

 Luke was so proud of his catch. He could have fed the whole street. 

 Mommy tried to take on mini golf on crutches. It wasn't easy. Their smiles made it worth it. God I love these kids. This was our best vacation ever. 

 10 short months from now this dashingly handsome guy will be allllll ours. We can't wait. The kids loved having Daddy all to themselves this past week, and so did I :)

 Have I mentioned that they love each other? It astounds me. I give mad props to Jen Otto. I never thought much about the idea of really trying to endear the concept of siblings as best friends, being raised in a home where competition was a little bit ingrained. I will say that I don't have any idea how this happened, but these sweet kids love the snot out of one another, and are kind to one another, and play with one another, all day long. I could not possibly feel more blessed. 

 The 4th. 

 We were so lucky to have to Bickhart's come spent the 4th with us. We spent a lonnnng late afternoon on the beach, outside showers, a delish dinner, and gorgeous fireworks on the beach with our friends. It felt like a night where we were just lucky to be alive, and just lucky to have great friends. Life is so, so good. 

 Boogie boards! They were incredible! Our kids are amazingly adept in the water and we could not be more proud. 

Jules and Brooke. Brooke is not only our Nanny, but she is part of our family and we love her. If she had not been able to come with us we would not have been able to take this vacation due to me being on crutches. We literally love her. She is my friend, and our kids friend. She is our third hand, and we don't know what we would do without her. She enabled us to take date nights, to enjoy time alone with individual kids, and to enjoy time alone simply as individuals. When she left this afternoon I almost cried, and I admit to texting her 3 times since then as I feel like someone is missing in the conversation of our family. We are so lucky to have her in our lives. 

I haven't been blogging because I have felt like I was an outsider on my kids lives for this past few weeks.

This vacation was not only a re-entry into their lives, it was a deeper entry into their lives. I got to spend SLOW time with my kids. Precious, slow, delicious time. I got to sleep late with my husband. Late nights on the beach. Slow walks. Long talks. It was sandy, salty, and truly loving wonderful. I am back. I am back into my family, and even deeper into it than I was before, as I got to experience my children and my husband in an entirely new way. This injury got me to a new kind of vacation bliss, a new kind of depth and slowness with my children, and I can't wait to follow up on it in my blog.

So. Forgive the long absence. I was fighting demons. They are gone.

Happy 4th, if anyone is still reading this, after my long, self pitying and very personally difficult absence. I thank you for bearing with me.