9 Months!

Happy 3/4 of a year, big fella!

Jake, at 9 months you are a joy. Your birth was hellacious, but other than that you slid right into our family as though you had always been there.

At 9 months you are a really easy baby. You love to eat, in fact, you seem to live to eat. You are a great nurser, you are a great sleeper, and you delight in being the center of attention. You live to climb up the steps, get into the toilet, and climb into the dishwasher, you little bugger! You are delighted by your big sibs ~ you find them more interesting than me.....except for when you want to nurse, which you do all day long. The awesome trade off to that is that you sleep all night long! You have the biggest face I have ever seen, and your smile positively lights up the room! You are cruising everywhere and can stand on your own ~ though as soon as you realize you are doing it you drop onto your bum and laugh. You were our earliest crawler, though I don't see you walking as soon as Luke ~ you seem to realize that you are most efficient at getting from point A to point B via crawling.

I want you to know that you are the superstar of our family ~ Luke and Jules can't go down for naps without you giving them one of your trademark slobbery kisses, and when they wake up you are the first thing they want to see. In the mornings, when you and I are nursing downstairs, we inevitably hear the thumping of feet and a voice or two saying "WHERE IS JAKE"?. They like to see me, they love to see you.

The ladies at the gym are totally besotted with you ~ when I pick you up after working out you usually have about three different lipstick kisses on your cheeks and you are happy and in love. Thank you, little Jake pants. You have made our family better, we can't even imagine life without you! Big kisses to my big boy.

Hey, Jules?

I write this blog for me. It helps me remember things. I stink at photo albums, I'm not the most crafty person, and I don't journal....so this is it. This is the baby book I keep for the three of you. I write it for me, but I hope that some day you treasure it as I treasure my baby book(s) (I'm a first kid).

Julia, my sweet, funny little monkey. You are almost three. When you lay your head on my chest as I read to you and sigh "Mama! We are going to be girlfriends foreverrrrrrrr", I almost die of love.

I just want you to know this. If you ever read this as an angsty teen or as a jaded young woman, or if I fail you in some way down the road ~

Please just know this truth. Please know that I love you, and I love your self confidence, and I love how much you love your beautiful, strong body, and how unconcerned you are with what anyone else is doing. You know your mind, young one. My greatest hope for you is that you retain your sense of purpose ~ that you continue to know your mind and stay true to it. I love the person that you are, Jules. I love seeing the person that you are becoming. And I would love nothing more than to be your girlfriend forever.

School party

Jake enjoys the sunshine and some warmth for the first time since he was a newborn.

The worlds worst prepared picnic ever. This is what happens when it is sunny out and you come home with three kids to find the (wonderful amazing much loved) cleaning people still working on the kitchen. Driveway it is!

Luke, at his school party. This one, crappy picture was all that I got before my camera went berserk on me. Blast.

So. I grumbled a lot about this whole "school party" thing. I mean, it was annoying. Make party bags and bring in a "special i.e sugar laden non cupcake snack" for the entire class of 17 kids? Super annoying. I will be honest and say that I bear some sort of irrational grudge against the concept of party bags. The kids come home with them all the time, and they annoy the practical side of me beyond belief. Why, you ask? Because they are generally filled with random junky trinkets, and junk food. And when you tell a tired, 3 year old pre nap kid that they can't partake of that junk at a given lunchtime, said kid generally objects. Dramatically. So.Annoying.

So when I got the call that I had to make a stupid party bag, I felt tremendous annoyance and pressure. Don't want to have the crappy party bag now, do we? I mean, we are having a birthday party for the bigs this year for the first time ever, and I have staunchly refused to create favor bags for it. I.Will.Not.Succumb to peer pressure on this one! Won't! But when the preschool teachers call and tell me to make one ~ off I go with my marching orders. Nate was out of town, but my Mom and Bec came over and watched Jules and Jake while Luke and I had a special date to go to the store. We picked the bags, the ribbon, and ended up with pencils, punching balloon thingies, sports themed eggs that we filled with peanut butter M&M's, stickers, and a blow pop for each kid. Each thing was in a plastic bag, which we unwrapped, then put carefully into 17 more plastic bags. Talk about un-green! What a stupid waste this whole concept of party bag is!

Then, we made them. Julia and Luke helped me, and their excitement was contagious. I will admit that seeing my kids practically quivering with delight at the sight of these stupid 17 party bags did warm my heart towards the damn things, just a little.

The day of his party was beautiful. I dropped the kids off and came home to take a long run with Jake in the sunshine. Changed, and headed back to school, laden with my sugary-unhealthy-treat (ice cream cups as per Luke's request) and a baby strapped to my body. Luke was so excited when we got there (more excited to see Jake than me, as par the course). They headed into circle time, each sitting upon their appropriately named "situpon" of course.

Luke walked into the center of the circle, and his teachers gave him his crown. This is when it all fell apart. All of my annoyance, all of my grumbling, all of my calloused busy Mom crap simply melted away and I got tears in my eyes seeing my sweet boy standing in front of his class wearing his crown and talking all about his family and his favorite things. It was so incredibly endearing, and I could plainly see how special he felt. I got teary, and then my camera broke. It was almost nice, instead of watching any of it through my camera lense I got to just be in the moment and revel in watching my son enjoy himself. He told his classmates all about his family ~ about his favorite foods, about his favorite places to go etc etc.

His funniest moment was when the teacher asked him what his Daddy's name was ~ Luke answered "Nate". He paused. Then stated "But Mommy mostly calls him Bear". And an entire classroom of 17 heads and 2 teachers turned around to stare at me, as my cheeks got red and I had to explain to them that that was a nickname that Luke's Daddy and I had for one another.

Kids.

He blew out his candles, happily distributed his bags, and was so sweet and proud and happy that I came home just feeling overwhelmed with joy.

Party bags ~ 1. Stubborn lazy hates waste Mom? 0

For the record, there will still be no party bags at the pool party.

Shortie. I'm behind.

Chalk is Jake's new love. Here, my son double fists it. Long spring ahead. It was almost 70 on Friday, prompting a picnic in the driveway. Why the driveway? Because everything else was still covered in show.

My little hikers. They loved it. I need little baskets for them to collect things that they find along the way. "Hikes" are short endeavors with littles, but incredibly fun.

Julia holds court. I'm really just posting this to show off all of Jake's beautiful hair :)

It takes a real man to wear a pink diaper, walk ones baby, and carry a purse.

A three hour Sunday nap for Nate and I ends with all three kids in the tub with me. Three clean soft little babies to snuggle on is heavenly. Weekends are exhausting!

Happy 4th, big guy.

My little bed headed guy on the morning of his 4th birthday.

His baby sister greets him with a huge "HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUKIE!" and a kiss. He immediately handed her one of his (3) presents and said, "Here Jules, you open this one for me because it is a little present and you are a little girl" :)

He was so excited to use his "big day plate" that Aunt Becca had made for him. He chose waffles and cantaloupe for breakfast, and a homemade spaghetti and meatball and sausage dinner.

With his buddy Pop Pop, who got home from Jamaica in time to celebrate his first Grandchild's birthday. He was so happy to have dinner with his family and his Grandparents on his big day.

Dinner. Then cake. Luke specifically wanted a "Star Wars Cake". (He has never seen Star Wars, not sure where the fascination comes from)......when pressed as to which Star War's character he wanted on his cake he requested "Darth Skywalker".

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

This video is obviously from Luke's 2nd birthday ~ and I posted it on here then, and it is really long so please don't bother watching it again.....I just needed the treat of watching my boy grow up before my eyes again. I had almost forgotten about it and was pleasantly, tearfully, reminded of its existence last week as I made the montage for Nate. It is so trite to moan on and on about how fast this is all passing by, yet I feel compelled to do it. I didn't think that I would be emotional about this one, but I am. 4! It is so boy, so not baby. I have a little boy.

Luke. At 4 you are a joy. You have the sweetest little spirit, just like you had as a baby. On Saturday we took you and Julia and Jake swimming. We didn't pack snacks. As we were enduring the lengthy get three kids dressed to step out of the pool and into the car in 20 degree temps thing, you mentioned about 15 times that you were "Starvin!". We didn't have anything for you, and were heading straight home for dinner. At that moment, Nate found some long lost Marriott chocolate in his bag. He handed it, on the sly, to Luke. Just as Nate went to tell him to turn around and eat it (so that Julia didn't see it), he looked down to see that Luke had already broken the tiny chocolate in half and was offering it to his sister. That is the kind of kid you are, Luke. You can be repetitive and impulsive and loud and filled with energy.....but when it comes to your underlying nature, you can't be beat. You look for reasons to smile. All you really want to do is to play, all day long. You are tenderhearted, and inclusive, and the best big brother that I could imagine. Both Jake and Julia adore you. You love school and you love going to ACAC. Drawing and cooking make you so happy.....but nothing makes you happier than sports. Basketball, tennis, soccer, baseball, football, golf....you love it all. You love to snuggle up and read books, and you love cars, suddenly. All in all you are a really easy kid, Luke. You get loud at times in the house, you occasionally play a little rough, but in general you make parenting you incredibly easy. You eat everything. You sleep well. You are growing and healthy and strong. Your Dad and I love you so very much, and are so proud of the way you lead Jake and Julia by example. We had a great time celebrating you yesterday buddy. Thank you for all that you have taught me this past year, thank you for welcoming a brother into the family without missing a beat, and thank you for forgiving me when I mess up. I love you Luke!

~Mom

Happy 5 year, Nate

5 years and 3 kids ago tomorrow, I married my best friend.

Nate ~ thank you for sharing this awesome ride with me. I am so proud of you and of what we are working hard to create together. These memories are precious to me, and I look forward to so, so, many more.

I love you. Thank you for making my dreams come true.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

I have no idea why anyone with a dishwasher would ever buy toys. Like his sibs, Jake is unabashedly fascinated with the dishwasher. I'd say that it runs neck and neck with the stairs.

Julia is quite taken with her tap shoes.

My girl, at the end of dance class. Though she is more than a year younger than most of the kids, you would never know it. She loved it.

I wrote a really, really long blog post on Thursday night, and it is gone. I don't know where why or how, but it is really annoying. The general gist of it was this: two things.

I am a terrible mother.

God laughs at me.

I should just leave it at that. But, because I am wordy, here it is.

Thursday Nate was in DC. I took the kids to school, had a fantastic workout, picked them up, had a fun lunch, and all three kids got to bed at the same time. I got all of the birthday party invites out, played on the internet, and in a moment of total June Cleaver channeling, I even set up the whole kitchen table with the craft things I had bought to decorate Valentines with when the kids woke up (decision to make homemade Valentines? Questionable at best). Almost........proud. And, as all Mothers know ~ that is when the Universe laughs at you. Jake woke up so he came into the bathroom and played happily as I took a quick shower before the kids woke up. At about 3:45, just as I was getting out of the shower, Jules and Luke walked into my bathroom. As I was toweling off, Jules pulled up her sleeve and said "Mom~ Look! I have owl paint on my arm!".

*segue. Jules had a really cool owl-sitting-on-a-branch-with-flowers decal on her wall above her bed. About a week ago I noticed that the branch was no longer there. A little sleuthing showed long brown strips of wall decal on the floor behind Julia's bed. She had obviously stood on her bed and methodically stripped off the entire branch. A stern talking to took place. My Mom, knowing how limited my errand running time is, brought me over some brown wall paint and two brushes, to recreate the branch. I put them safely out of reach up on Julia's dresser on Wednesday.*

"Owl paint?" Said I. "Did you paint owls at school?"

"No, Mama!" Said Jules. The OWL IN MY ROOM!

I ran.

I ran, in my towel, down the hall to my daughters room. Immediately I saw brown paint all over her dresser. Two giant puddles of brown paint on her white carpet. I screamed. Literally screamed. JULIA! WHY DID YOU DO THIS!?!?!?!? She cried. I screamed some more. I grabbed carpet cleaner, secured the gate, and went to work with a gusto. She had pulled out a drawer to stand on to reach the paint, opened the paint, got paint all over the dresser, the clothes in the drawer, and the carpet. She must have known that she did something wrong, as she had also gotten one of her nice towels from her bathroom and tried, unsuccessfully, to clean it up.

Carpet cleaner, scrub brush, laundry. Screaming. I ran back to my room, asking Jules WHY? WHY DID YOU DO THIS? I knew it then, and I know it now, but it is a dumb question. Why? Why does a two year old do anything? But some irrational illogical part of me needed to know the thought process behind the systematic destruction of what was a decently nice bedroom.

As I was trying to wrangle logic out of an impossibly illogical situation, I heard Luke yell ~ "But Mama? What about the WALL?" My heart sank. I ran back to Julia's room, where I noticed "the wall". The wall, which used to contain a lovely owl scene......now contained two giant brown fingerpaintings. Also involved? The expensive quilt and sheets and even the headboard! Brown. Everywhere.

At this point the towel fell to the ground. Again I fixed the gate, and ran downstairs to get vinegar and magic eraser and rags and everything I could get my hands on. Got the quilt into the washing machine. Was standing on Julia's bed, naked, scrubbing, crying, and generally feeling 100% out of control of myself and my emotions ~ when it suddenly hit me that all of 4 minutes before I had been luxuriating in a wonderful hot shower and patting myself on the back for being generally awesome. Ha! How FUNNY this whole Motherhood gig is! Even as I was sweating, and scrubbing, and so so so so angry it kept running through my head: This is about THINGS. This is not cancer. This is not an ER visit. This is STUFF. This is LIFE.

I was more angry at Jules than I had ever been in my entire life. I will say that I don't think that I handled the situation correctly. I pretty much freaked out. And it was lame.

We recovered. Slowly. We did make the valentines, though I admit that my heart was not in it. I was just down ~ down because of what Julia did, and down because of how I reacted to it. I really need some sunshine. My kids really need to run outside at the park, in the sunshine. So do I.