I'm a MOM!

"I'm a MOM". I remember having that feeling when Luke was first born. I know I even had that feeling late in my first pregnancy ~ When a fully developed baby is kicking you, keeping you awake, changing what and when you eat, and otherwise running the show formerly known as your body, you are, in a way, already a mother.

That feeling kept (and keeps) hitting me. The first time I nursed him ~ I'm a MOTHER! Introducing my parents to their first grandchild, my son. The first time we took Luke home from the hospital (yes, I admit I sat in the back seat with him for that first trek home. It just seemed so utterly impossible that this sweet little thing was actually OUR child and we were actually taking him to OUR/HIS house.). The first time I felt his head to see if he seemed feverish. The first time I took 50 or so pics of him in a single day. The first time I heard him laugh. The first time he said "Ma Ma". The first time he was crying but settled as soon as he was handed to me. The first time I rocked him to sleep in the throes of a painful ear infection. The first time he said "love ya" to me. The first scrawled crayon drawing with the name "Luke" on top that proudly adorned my fridge. The first time I caught spit up with a bare hand to save the rug I felt especially like a Mother. (The first time I tilted Jules back so that the spit up didn't even come out, I felt like a veteran Mom ;)). The first time Luke got a shot and I cried along with him. Having TWO car seats in the car really made it sink in. Not only was I a Mom, I was a Mom to a family. Trekking up to the beach like a pack animal, I knew I was a Mom. These moments are the reason that I most love having this blog. I love remembering the joy and wonder of those moments, because they are so precious, yet so fleeting.

Another such milestone occurred this week. I now wake up ahead of my kids in the morning. Sounds boring compared to hearing "I love you" from your child for the first time, but to me, somehow, it feels even more monumental. It is so practical, but its so grown up it makes me gag. (and it means that to support my new 6 or 6.30 wake up, I go to bed at 9 PM. Argh).

Anyway. Labor day weekend is upon us. Less than a week until the NFL kicks off, PSU is on this afternoon (!!) and the Phillie's are on a downswing after getting hot early in the week. I have wanted to post about fall for weeks now but have been restraining myself until it was actually September.

Sometimes I feel guilty for raising the kids in the Philly environs.......a lifetime of professional sports heartbreak lies ahead for them. Sigh.

Anyway, happy Labor Day weekend! We are off early this morning to spend the weekend with Nate's family and we can't wait. Luke has been practicing saying "Grandma and Grandpa" all week and he cant wait to show off his new mad swimming skills in the pool.

Rock on, Luke

Luke at playgroup yesterday.

Thank God for my playgroup. We have just a great group of supportive, funny, smart, non competitive, informed and thoughtful Mamas, who all happen to have extremely sweet little kids born right around the same time as Luke. Its one of the things that I most look forward to going to every week. I just got the sad news that one of our original playgroup Mama's and one of Luke's very first buddies (they "met" when Luke was just 16 days old at our Nursing Mama's group) is moving.

You know who you are my friend, and you, and your son will be missed so very much.

No Dilemma Here

I am utterly infatuated with the book "The Omnivore's Dilemma". A friend raved about it recently, and I had to go and get it. During the first chapter I realized that I had already read one of the authors books, "The Botany of Desire". Although my reading time is severely limited these days, I have almost finished. I wont bore anyone with my personal philosophy about food (which this book is challenging and changing as I go) but I will say that I heartily recommend that every one read this book. Seriously, get it.

Moving on. Yesterday Buddy (owner of the farm in our backyard) let me know that the corn that we had been watching grow all year is ready to eat. As Jeannie was coming over for dinner last night it seemed like the perfect opportunity to sample the wares.

Earlier yesterday as we were playing outside I told Luke that we were going to pick some ears of corn. Hence the ear grab in the photo. Smart kid. (And speaking of "Kid" I cant believe how much my oldest baby looks like a KID in that picture.)

After I had gotten the kids in pajamas we went outside for one last hurrah of play and a corn picking mission. I read a little bit while the kids played. At corn picking time, Luke helped me pluck 4 ears, and I commenced to husk them while he looked on. Finished husking, I looked down at Jules, who had excitedly made her way over to my book and was eating it. Ah! I got the book away from her and cleaned up her face, to look back at Luke, who was noshing away on the raw corn. I got that away from Luke and was throwing the bag of corn husks away, when I looked back at the blanket to find that Julia had apparently ninja rolled several times until she was off of the blanket and happily eating some grass. My little ruminate.

My views on food are being challenged. My kids ~ No such dilemma. Grass, corn, paper, its all simple and straightforward and apparently delicious to them.

Sleep

The kids have both been in bed for the night at 7 pm the last two nights. Life is good. Its enabled me to do exciting sexy things like mop the kitchen floor and do laundry. (party!). I'm not ashamed to admit that when Nate is away I fall into bed like a zombie before 9 pm most evenings. I can't make it through an entire Phillie's game to save my life.

I believe in letting my babies find their own schedule. I see it as my job to simply pay attention to and anticipate their needs, as I believe all babies naturally fall into a routine that works for them at some point in their development. Jules is apparently at that point. It happened so naturally and easily with Luke, that I was hopeful that it would with Julia also. It's different with your second child as you don't have as much time to study their schedule/needs and you are always having to still respect/work around the schedule of your first child ~ I just sortov trusted and sure enough it all came together. She takes a morning nap of about 40 minutes around 9.30, then a 2.5 hour nap in her crib from about 11 until 1.30. Then she cat naps for another 45 or so around 3....then off to bed by 6.45 or 7. She wakes once around 10 for a quick nurse, then again at 1.30, when she nurses and falls immediately back to sleep, then sleeps till between 7 and 8. I do find it amusing that they seem to be tag teaming their naps ~ Luke still takes two naps a day, so he sleeps from 9-11, Jules 11-1.30, Luke from 2-4. Hm. Fab, as it gives me lots of alone time with each of them, but leaves me in the dark as to when we are supposed to go out and do fun things. What I find is working at the moment is to take a long walk right after breakfast, get things done while Luke is napping, play outside with him while Jules is napping, and then get out of the house, to either the playground or the pool around 4. That takes care of that weird chunk of time before dinner when nerves tend to get a little thin for me.

I refuse to run errands with my kids. I think that it would be miserable for them, and miserable for me. Sometimes it means that my life is more simple than I might ideally choose. I don't always have the birthday gift or card at the appropriate time. I have put decorating our house on the back burner, even though it desperately needs it. I don't do a lot of pleasure shopping. I get my groceries delivered (which if anyone is pressed for time is simply the most wonderful thing in the world ~ free delivery specials are almost always available, and the big strapping delivery guy brings my groceries right to my kitchen island. Heaven). I have a sitter for 3 hours a week during the day, which is when I run my errands, kid free and happy.

I was talking to my friend Amy when we were down at the beach, and was asking her how she liked being a stay at home Mom. She, like me, had loved her career while she was working. She, like me, said that she loved being home with her son, and would not change it for the world. I loved her actual answer. She said that "I take being a Mom seriously. I work hard to be a good Mom. Some days that is a million times harder than working ever was." I could not agree with her more.

Julia witnesses chaos

I almost forgot. I love this picture. It is Julia taking in all of the chaos that is Wonderland Pier. The kids, the lights, the noise, the chaos.

I think that her face sums it all up.

Vacation is hard work.

I need a vacation from vacation. We just got home from a wonderful time at the beach. I never knew how mentally and physically exhausting vacation could be. While our time at the beach was filled with fantastic memories and long days spent on the beach, it was also probably the worst nights of sleep I have had since entering into this whole motherhood gig. The family M was all sleeping in one bedroom and man is that tough with two kids so young. Julia is not a fan of her pack and play, and would wake up sometime between 11.30 and 1.30 every night. As soon as I heard her first squeak I leapt out of bed to snatch her up so that she didn't wake up Luke. We then spent the remainder of the night snuggling together on the giant couch. Luke, who always sleeps till 7, was up at 6 every day. I'm building up a giant stash of milk for our vacation in October, so I was up pumping every morning at 5.30 so that I could have that done with before Luke woke up. Early mornings get old fast. I now fully understand why God, in his infinite wisdom, saw fit to bestow fabulous sleepers upon me. I just don't like not getting sleep, and have no idea how other Moms endure weeks or even months of that with their babies.

Motherhood is incredibly physically demanding. The days when Nate was away I was pushing the jogging stroller through the sand with 17 or 18 lb Jules in the sling, my giant backpack on my back, and umbrellas, towels, sand toys etc....crammed into or under or on top of every square inch of the stroller. Who needs the gym when you have kids? I now look back on the family vacations of my childhood with a whole new level of gratitude towards my parents. They were lugging three of us around! Having fun and creating memories for your children is a lot of work.

Bullet points:

*We went to Wonderland pier in Ocean City one night. It was a fabulous night that I hope I never forget. We had Mack n Mancos pizza, Johnson's caramel corn, went on the rides (Luke and Jules first spin on the merry go round!)and Luke attracted a crowd of onlookers as he ate his very first vanilla custard with rainbow jimmies. I have never seen him enjoy anything like he did that ice cream cone. The mess was totally worth it.
*We had a fantastic Billings-DiLullo reunion. I love my sister cousins and only wish that you all lived on the East Coast again! Max and Luke had fun while Julia and Reese rolled around on a blanket.
*We went and spent a fun night on the dock looking at the boats as we awaited Pete's arrival. He was fishing in the Mid Atlantic $500,000 and caught three White Marlin that day. Luke loves boats, and he loves birds, two things that there are no shortage of in a marina.
*Luke dug more holes and smashed more castles than I thought possible. He learned to chase seagulls. He saw a live conch. He caught little crabs with his Pop Pop. He swam in the ocean every day.
*Julia got to hang out with two babies born the same week as her. Alexandria was born one day before her, and Reese 4 days after. Lots of gummy grins all around.
*We took long walks up on the boardwalk every morning.
*The kids got spoiled with attention from my parents and Becca and Pete. Every morning Luke popped his little head up in his crib saying "Pop Pop? Mom Mom? Bec-Eck? Da Da? Ma Ma?". Now that we are home and Nate is away I feel horribly boring and woefully incapable of providing the fun that Luke got accustomed to at the beach. Its just me this week, kid.
*Julia loves the beach. She was wonderful and relaxed and easy anytime she was there. She simply nursed, and napped, and rolled around, and stared at the ocean or the umbrella for hours on end. Her being so easy and happy and self entertained made my days a lot more fun.
*Luke loooooooved the construction site next door. Years from now as he is enjoying the new home that my parents are building I will be able to tell him that he ran through the walls as a baby.

I miss the beach already. I loved seeing my children enjoy one of my favorite places on earth. Big thanks to my parents and sister and brother, who all endured the noise and chaos (and joy!) that two wonderful little babies bring where ever they go.

5!

Julia is 5 months old today!

*~*


I don't know where the time went, little one. 5 months ago I was staring at your freshly born self wondering how on earth your Dad and I managed to make a girl and reveling in your long awaited arrival.

You are a great nurser baby girl and we will likely not start solids for at least another month. You are big, and healthy, and STRONG! You love to play with your feet. You sit so well unassisted. You love your bumbo. The sling is your absolute favorite place, you love to be snuggled right up against me. Your eyes follow your brother everywhere he goes, and you withstand his barrage of kisses like a champ. You have been totally amazing on the beach ~ You will sit in your stroller in the shade and stare at the ocean for an hour or more at a time....you love laying under the umbrella and staring up at it as it blows in the breeze. You are so alert, so talkative, so sweet. Your blue eyes are so bright and beautiful. You don't have much hair, but it looks like you are going to be another blondie like your brother. You roll everywhere and will oftentimes roll yourself right across the room. I would love it if you were late to get mobile (I freely confess that two mobile, young kids terrifies me), but I just don't think that it is going to be in the cards for you ~ You seem to believe that you have places to go already and are well on your way to getting there. You are suddenly trying to grab my food off of my plate. You love to grab my face as though you are trying to kiss me whenever I pick you up. You have one dimple in your right cheek. Getting kissed on either side of your mouth makes you belly laugh. You look up at me and smile the whole time you are nursing. You are a good sleeper. When I go to get you out of your crib in the morning you start cooing and waving your arms and legs like a joyous little lunatic as soon as you see me ~ It starts out my day just right every single time. You are a joy.

24

24 hours. That's the turn around time to get from in to out in Luke's little body. Winding from mouth, to throat, stomach, intestines etc etc.... to its final destination ~ a cloth diaper.

We now know this courtesy of the plum pit Luke ate the other day. A call to the Dr. reassured us that generally speaking, if it could get in, it could get out.

And get out it did. Although I was plagued with visions of Luke's little intestines shredded to bits by the foreign body, he seemed to be totally unfazed by the hard little pit winding its way through his body. After several diaper changes where I got to play "CSI diaper Mom" and inspect the output with the thoroughness of a forensic scientist, I was rewarded by finding the object I so longed to see...........a plum pit.

I doubt it will be the last time Luke eats something that he isn't supposed to.

Another box checked off, I suppose.

We are at the beach for the next 10 days or so. Luke's tanned little legs and skinned little knees make me inordinately happy. Seeing him running around mostly naked most of the time is great. There is just something so loveable about a little dirt on a kid, maybe a scab or a mosquito bite or two that makes all seem right with the world. He plays hard, eats hard, and sleeps hard.

1.5

Well, Kiddo of mine, you are officially 18 months old. You had your 18 month appointment today, and boy have you been busy. You weighed in at 27 lbs 15 oz and 33.75 inches tall. 84% for height, 72% for weight, and your big ole brain (head, actually) at 90%. We celebrated half-birthday-eve yesterday with a trip to the zoo with Jenny and Kelly. We took in the kids concert, then walked around and saw the animals and played in the "tree house". Today we spent the day at playgroup at Erin's pool with your friends, then a much deserved nap, your Dr's appointment, and then a great hour of swimming at the pool at our gym with your Dad and I. I feel like I will always and forever remember just how sweet, just how funny and just how stinkin loveable you are right now.........but when I need to look back at this blog from a year ago to remember how you were "then" I know that years from now all of the details of this wonderful funny little critter you are now will be so so blurry to me. Here are some of the little nuances that make you the kid that you are at 18 months.

*You are always happy. Honestly, I don't know where you got your cheerful, easygoing persona from. You shake stuff off. You don't sulk. You don't hold a grudge, or throw tantrums, or hit/grab/bite/push. When other kids might take your toys or hit you you neither run to me crying, or push them back.....you just sort of give them a look like "Dude, whats that about?". I love it.
*You eat like a champ. You eat the strangest foods with a gusto. Tilapia, king crab, scallops, sauerkraut, endamame, okra, WHATEVER it is I put in front of you you enjoy. The only exceptions to that rule are blackberries and raspberries (which is a shame, as we have a plethora of delicious ones growing on Buddy's farm right next door.)
*You are enthralled with others being "night night". When you see that Jules is asleep in her car seat you make sure to tell me (several times, at your maximum decibel level!) "Night night! Night night!" While pointing to her. If you see someone sleeping at the pool, or at the beach, you have to make sure that everyone (EVERYONE!) around knows and appreciates the fact that someone in our vicinity is "night night".
*Speaking of sleeping you do it so well little guy. You still take two naps a day. All told, you sleep for about 3.5-4 hours a day, then sleep from 7 or 7.3o until 7 am. You go to bed with a kiss and a joyful countenance. You never fight us or need any sort of rocking/routine/endless cuddling to go to sleep. When you are tired, you want to go to bed, and its great, and easy. Lately, when I say your prayers with you, you say amen along with me.
*Talking. All of a sudden you are a little parrot. You love to talk. Your sweet little raspy baby voice just melts my heart. You probably have about 30 or so words that you say regularly. My favorites are Becca and Buckle (which sound like Bec-Eck and Uck-Uck......although my attempts to phonetically spell what you say fall woefully short. You sound like a native German speaker swallowing their tongue. I don't know how else to describe it, but its darn cute).
*You love your sister without one iota of jealousy or malice. You kiss her. You baby talk her. You smile and laugh and play with her when she is in her exersaucer. When we are walking around in the double stroller I frequently look down to see you holding her hand. Sometimes seeing that brings tears to my eyes. I was so worried about how you would react to a sibling sharing your attention when you were still so young, and you have far and away exceeded my wildest hopes for how you would adjust.
*You think that "shhhh" has something to do with your nose. Instead of putting your finger in front of your lips and saying "shhhhh" you press on your nose with your finger and say "shhhhh". It makes me laugh every time.
* You love to have dance parties in the car when I am driving and a good song comes on. I only wonder what the other drivers think when they see me dancing along with you.
*You dive into the water. You love the "beach" part of the pool at our gym. You run into the water and then belly flop in, laughing all the way. You blow bubbles. You lay on your stomach with your hands on the bottom in the shallow water and kick your feet. You are brave.
*You only say "no" right before you are about to so something you know you ought not do. You say "no" then climb on the coffee table to host a dance party. You say "no" right before you throw food. Maybe its willful disobedience, but it seems more like a disclaimer. Almost as though you are saying "I know this is wrong but my little toddler self simply MUST do it anyway".
*You kiss like a European. Somehow you don't seem complete unless you kiss both cheeks.
* You nod "yes" with your entire body, not just your head. I love your enthusiasm.
* Nothing is funnier to you than being chased.
*You get so excited every time I open the freezer as you know I will give you an ice cube. The fact that you then share that ice cube with the dog used to bother me.....now its just part of your joy of ice and I have given up fighting it.
* You love love love books. You especially love your Richard Scary book at the moment. If I have to say "that's a pickle truck" another hundred times I may gouge my eyes out with boredom, but you love it.
* You love to build with blocks. You are really good at it. When you are especially proud of yourself you stand back and laugh with glee while pointing at your newest creation.
* You have found a way to make "Dat" mean three different things. "Dat?" "Dat!!!!" and "Dat Dat Dat Dat!!!!" all have distinctly different meanings.
* You love us. You love your grandparents. You love strangers. All in all, you love.
* You are so the mayor, Luke. You love to say "hi" and Bye Bye to most every person, animal, or inanimate object that you see. You are an infinitely like able kid.

Enough raving. I know I am biased. But I'm his Mom. It goes with the territory.

I cant believe that as of tomorrow morning, Luke will be closer to two than to one. It just flies by.

Kiddo, thank you so much for blessing your Dad and I with a joyful 18 months. We love you.

Hail yes.

In an absolutely insane example of the power of Mother Nature we had a ferocious thunder/wind/hail storm yesterday. Check out the pics. The hail was HUGE, and there was tons of it.

Julia and Luke slept blissfully through the midday storm, although some of the really loud late afternoon thunder sent Luke running into my arms yelling "Ma Ma!". He now says THUNDAH (really its more like DUNDAH!) every time he hears it.

Link to Video

So my brother and sister in law are thrilled to be pregnant with their first little baby. We are blessed with 5 adorable nephews and one niece on Nate's side, but this will be the first baby born to one of my siblings. Baby D is due to arrive just in time to celebrate Christmas with us all. We can't wait to meet Luke and Julia's cousin! Luke is rooting for a boy, and Jules for a girl. Either way, we are simply so excited to welcome a new member into the family.

I have never been able to post video of my kids on my blog, because the one night that I tried to figure out how to download from my video camera to my computer ended with a couple of frustrated beyond belief right hooks and a kick to the PC. I may have mentioned before that patience is not one of my strong suits. Frustration isn't either. Oh well. Nate tells me "its easy", so I will let Nate figure it out for me one day soon :).

Anyway, here is a link to the really cute video that Lex made of our time at the beach last week. Its also a link to her adorable blog if you want to track her pregnancy as we all count down to the arrival of their little one.

www.dilullodaily.blogspot.com

Thanks Lex!

Un-Favre~able for my marriage

My marriage is in trouble.

With fall looming on the horizon, the worst possible football trade has been made.

Brett Favre is a Jet.

I can't stand Brett Favre. I really can't.

I know he seems to be a good guy. He appears to be happily married and a great father. He volunteers for charities. He never gets arrested or shoots up nightclubs at 2 am like some NFL "hero's". Super.

His disgusting pandering to the media just rubs me wrong. The whole "Brett Favre's Dad" saga of a few years ago. The press conferences. The retirement talk EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR. The retirement. The un-retirement (before he had even been "retired" for a single day of the season!) The reinstatement. The recent "Brett Favre's airplane stakeout". The drama. Brett Favre thrives on drama. Its like he walks around with his own personal theme song playing at all times. And now he is a Jet.

My husband is going to be utterly insufferable this season. I may need to move.

Its not going to help that I am not optimistic about the Eagles season.

I will try to be a good wife. I will try to support my husband. I will try not to laugh in his face when Favre throws some of his trademark panicked lame duck interceptions. I will try not to laugh at his comparisons to Joe Montana and Kurt Warner and the great careers that they went on to have after leaving the teams for which they had been franchise players (yes, those comparisons have already started.)

One line in the sand that I have to draw. There will be NO. FAVRE. JERSEYS. in my house. That's all I ask. And Luke and Julia, please, for the love of all that is good and right, please please please grow up to be Eagles Fans.

Wordless Wednesday

Co sleeping no more

We just got back from a wonderful few days at the beach. Considering our kids are only 13 months apart and still so young we got lucky with this summers timing. Luke is at a great age where he loves the water but has some respect for those noisy intimidating waves, and at 4 months Jules is not yet crawling so she cant get herself over to the sand to shove handfuls into her mouth. It has made for some lovely long days on the beach, and very tired kiddos come nighttime.

Julia has officially spent the last two nights in her crib. My little girl is growing up. No more sleeping snugly next to Mom and nursing at will all night long. It was just time. Time for me, time for her. I miss her little body next to me, but at the same time I like this step of independence for her. The first night she was stellar, sleeping from 7.30 PM till 5 am, nursing, and then going back to sleep till 7.30. Last night.......not so much. I put her to bed around 8.30, but was walking the long lonely path to her room at 11.30, 3.30, and 4.30. Ugh. I know that we likely still have a couple more of those sorts of night ahead of us until she gets used to it, but that's okay. I like getting to look at her sweet little face as we rock in the quiet dark nursery. Some day these kids of mine will be all grown up and not need me at night, and while that will be wonderful, I will miss the feeling of a sweet heavy sleepy warm baby in my arms. They grow up too fast, they really do.

Speaking of growing up, little Man started swim lessons this morning. Sir Luke can officially blow bubbles, jump in the pool to me, and "swim" on his belly while kicking his feet (while I hold him, of course). I was so proud of him! After class we spent a good 45 minutes playing in the pool. It was a wonderful way to start our morning.