Thanksgiving 2012

 Wednesday afternoon pie making, our annual tradition. Julia joined in this year. At almost 5, she is quite the baker already. 

 Our family, with me making weird face. 

 Julia and her cousin Samantha, who broke her arm a few days before Thanksgiving. 9 Months apart and best buddies. 

 Yes, this is a preview of our Christmas card. I used to be all excited and secretive about that stuff, but I don't care, I love the picture too much to hoard it :) I love these little people and they truly are my joy.

 I feel like this is one of the few photos I have of Nate and I together in MONTHS. It was so nice to spend the entire weekend together, though he did have to spend all day Friday and Saturday studying. We got a hot date in on Saturday night at the home of good friends, and spend much of Sunday lazing around and then finally motivating to get the fall decorations put away and the Christmas decorations started. We put up the small fake tree in our family room and are excited to get the real tree this coming Sunday. Nate has school the next two weekends in a row (groan)....but then is officially done module 4 and ON HIS FINAL MODULE! I can say with certainty that we are in the home stretch, folks.

 The women of the DiLullo clan. 

It was a beautiful Thanksgiving, filled with great food, great weather, and great time spent both as and with family. I feel nervous about the upcoming Christmas season as I watch the calendar fill quickly ~ I am doing a lot of deep breathing exercises, yoga classes, and dance party, and reminding myself that it all always, always works out.

I hope everyone is feeling thick in the waist, and loved, after this weekend of thanks. I know I am :)

We are grateful.

 I have a confession. I really am not impressed with Luke's Kindergarten situation. We are grappling with decisions about his education at the moment, and at times they strike me as huge.......and at times they strike me as ridiculous. As someone who went to public school through 5th grade (and LOVED it) and then went to private school (and HATED it) ((double disclaimer that I remain eternally grateful for said private school for introducing me to my soul sister and sanity keeper and forever friend Jeannie))....and am hitched to a wonderful product of public education......we were very married to the idea of public school for our kids. We are in a great school district. We are suffering through a bad teacher situation. Luke is in a class of 16. AWESOME! AWESOME! But the situation just isn't awesome. And we are struggling. Pushing and pulling against one another, and against the God awful cost of private education, let alone the stigma, we are exploring our options. I can tell you that this decision is rending my soul in many ways, which I won't even get into. Luke had to camouflage his turkey, and I think this is pretty cool. I think that Luke is super cool. And I think that Luke can be super cool wherever he is......but a parents soul desire to foster a child's innate and full capability is strong, too. And I can tell you that it is a challenge to know how to best support ones child, and ones desires for ones child.....period. Ever. Always. Amen. Shit.  

 As a reward for Luke's good behavior at school he was treated to a weekend ALONE in Cape May with Mom Mom and Pop Pop. He was beside himself. My big boy sometimes misses out on the rewards of being the big guy as he and Jules are more like twins than older and younger sibs. He came home so happy, so relaxed, so confident, and it was wonderful to have him back. I swear he was taller and like 2 years older, but whatever. They brought back fresh shrimp......which the kids devoured before Nate woke up from his 3pm Sunday well deserved nap on the couch. 

 My Jules at her Thanksgiving program at school. It was lovely. They had made us homemade applesauce and pumpkin bread, and treated us to a wealth of songs. While I would like to say that I can't believe that this sweet girl will be in K next year the truth is that I can't believe that she isn't in it already. She's a smarty, this one. A good cook, too! The funny thing is that for as much as she loves to play teacher or rule the roost around the house, she is surprisingly shy in front of a crowd~ the songs that she had been belting out around the house or serenading us with at night time (I'm in bed and I hear her singing to her self in her room :))......she was shockingly demure in front of the huge gathering of parents and grandparents. Thanks to my Mom babysitting and hanging out with Luke (who had no school ALL WEEK, WTH???) while Jake napped, I was able to attend. 

 Right? More to come on this. I was busy spray painting these letters today after pie making today. 

Two apple and two pumpkin and my little pumpkin joined the annual tradition as a non nursling for the first time! I love my family, and I miss my Stroudsburg family. We got to talk to Grandma today, and Jules one girl cousin on the Mangan side tonight, as we prepare for tomorrow. Our turkey is rubbed and ready for the fryer, the cranberry chutney just finished, and the brussels will be made tomorrow. I got to do some shopping this morning (for clothes! yay!) and then our lovie Brooke came over so that I could make her butternut squash soup for/with her for her Thanksgiving with her family tomorrow. Truly, she is a part of our family. Nate took the kids out to lunch while Brooke and I got to enjoy some time alone ~ I love her like a sister. Everyone ought to have a babysitter/caregiver who is a part of their family. I place her highly this year when I count our blessings.

Its a mixed bag for sure, eh?

The hip is a sticking point. I feel like my life has revolved around it.........good and bad. I have known my friends ~ received so so so much love. I have suffered. I won't lie. I have been very humbled.

In humility I have found empathy. And anger (a lot of anger). And strife. And confusion. And pie. I love pie. And I have found dance party!!! And I have found some quiet.....some quiet with my kids. I'm tryin. MAN, am I tryin. And failure. I'm finding failure in spades. And, its okay. It's just life, and I'm livin it as best I can. And we are doing pretty damn good. My kids amaze me. They outshine me.

I love you all. I love everyone who is trying, and who is humble enough to admit that they are trying.

Happy Thanksgiving. Friends. I don't know if anyone reads this anymore. If you do, Peace. To you and yours.

A sweet reprieve.

 I feel like an Elephant after the weekend away, Sandy, the party, the post party fall out, and this weekend. Oy. We decided on a whim to set out to the zoo this morning......and it was a wonderful decision. I have felt terrible guilt about my lack of excursions due to the whole broken hip drama, which took us right into the school year, in which we don't have long enough mornings to venture into the city. With Nate being tied up on so many Saturdays due to school, our family excursion ratio is in the el sucko zone. Today was a gem of a day. Truly, a gift. Beautiful weather, the kids just so fun and joyful, and me mobile enough to enjoy our romp around a relatively uncrowded zoo. Mad blessings.

 Trail of the lorax. Seriously, I know I'm way biased, but aren't they cute? They are just best of best friends and I love watching them experience the world. They thrill me. 

 Giraffes. Are there any weirder creatures on earth? Maybe Rhinos? We got treated to both walking around and doing their thing........the kinds and us were equally spellbound. 

 Ain't he so stinking cute? I am so lucky to have married a wonderful man. I can't wait till his school is done with and he is all ours again. 

The monkey exhibit

Some days are just golden. Just glistening serendipitious lucky and good. Today we woke up without a plan, and somehow ended up at the zoo. It was a perfect day. 

The kids are just getting easier and easier as they get bigger, making trips like this more fun than work. 

Tomorrow promises more of the same as we are Tyler bound with Jeannie and Henry and a forecast of 65 and sunny. 

Today, 11/11, was also my Mom Mom's birthday. We miss her terribly. I feel like she was smiling down on us, today, and like her namesake, my Julia, is keeping her spirit and her joy alive. 

Stuff.

 These are all going to be such random photos, but since I don't do photo albums, and since I don't FB anymore right now, and since this is a documentation of our life, here it is :). This is fall, at our home.

 We voted! Nate was out of town, so the kids and I went to our polling place at 8:30 am en route to the gym on party day. The lines weren't too long, we waited about 10 minutes,  go to see Aunt Dee there, and got to talk a lot about the privacy of voting. I would not (and Nate would not) tell our kids who we were voting for. Is that weird? We told them that it was private. Still wondering if that meant that means that I/we felt shame for whom we voted for. Yes is the obvious answer. I can say that I was not happy with either candidate. 

 The house. After almost 5 years of living here it is starting to sortov a little bit look like a grown up home. Sortov. I can't wait till the basement is finished and those lovely toys are stashed away downstairs. It feels like groundhog day to me in how often I clean up the playroom. Crowns and markers and coloring books and legos just kill me. By March, this should hopefully all be in the basement. We plan to turn that long bank of windows/sunroom into a homework room with built in desks and workstations and a big comfy chair and ottoman for me so that I can oversee their homework and their computer access can public and easily monitored in the house. I hope the plan works out like we envision it. 

 This was where dessert was set up. Unfortunately people seemed to be too focused on wine and jewelry and missed a lot of the dessert thing.....which meant that I was left with 3000 desserts. I promptly started eating them for every meal. I put them in the freezer thinking to save them....but that just meant that I've been eating frozen desserts for a week. 

 I think that the holiday season has officially been kicked off. 

I couldn't resist these when I saw these at Carlinos :). I ate both while cleaning up. 

The aftermath. The kids and I devoured this cheese plate for like......3 hours? It was ugly. My week was a blur of tomato pie and cheese plates and spinach dips and humous and quesadillas and every other sort of fattening food you can think of. 

It was a fun party, but really exhausting. 

The kids were upstairs with Erika, who I love. 

I can tell you this, I will never, ever host another selling things party. I told myself this after hosting one for my friend a year and a half ago, and I forgot. I can't do it. Too much stress. Nate was away all weekend and all week leading up to it, I get too worked up about who is coming and who is not, I get way too sensitive about it, and generally I hate it. 

So, that was it for me,  NO MORE HOSTESS PARTIES. 

I will gladly attend yours. I will buy stuff. I will eat, I will mingle. But I will not, can not, do this to myself again. 

On living.

Jake, swinging his heart away at Oak Lodge. 

 Hiking, post brunch.

 Jake and his girlfriend, Zadie. 

Julia. My gypsie fashion plate. 

I guess this naturally follows the no cell in the car post.....but it takes it further. 

I don't know if this is just something that I am just going through personally, or something that relates to my family.......but it is where I am, and we are. 

Its been bugging me. My Mother in law nudged it (blessings Carolyn, this is a good thing!) when she told me that one of her grandchildren told her that one of my SIL's spent two hours a day on facebook. That caught my attention. When I started to think about it, I realized that I EASILY spent two hours a day checking in on facebook. Liking this, liking that, sharing this, sharing that.....but more often, being annoyed at this, or annoyed at that. Being shocked or disappointed at this friends politics or that friends parenting. Making a witty comment instead of a actual phone call. I became all too aware that facebook made me less close too my real friends and too connected to the people who I was not actually friends with. I've stopped watching television as I find it trite and frustrating and vapid....but didn't put any thought into the time I was spending  on facebook. 

I've left facebook. I've remembered that the faces that I care the most about are right here in front of me. 

Here's to a new chapter. Today was a lovely day. Of food, and friends, and not checking my phone even once. It was incredibly liberating. 

 Julia's halloween parade at school. Due to the cold windy post hurricane weather it as held inside for the first time ever. It was precious, as usual. 

 My loud, beautiful singer was unusually shy 

 Pre trick or treating. We had an easy pizza dinner, then Daddy took them trick or treating (the first year we split up!) I stayed home to hand out candy.....which actually meant that I ran around the house in a cleaning frenzy. It was a super win/win. We all had fun. 

 On our front porch.

 Pounds of booty. I've eaten about 7 lbs. I can feel cavities forming and my belly fattening. The kids have had like 7 pieces. I've had 70. Problems. 

 Luke got a haircut. It looks like a mohawk due to the way that the barber styled it but it isn't. I'm mad anti mohawk for kids......cause I'm weird, for sure. Its just a nice normal winter cut. 

 Friday night with Mom. We decided to make it a movie night as Nate was at school. They were so cute and cozy. 

But Jake fell asleep 5 minutes into it, which was 6:45

I had to change his diaper, so did it in front of the fire so he didn't get cold. I think that I could have done it on top of an ice block, he was so out. I carried his sweet heavy delicious smelling body up to his crib and it brought tears to my eyes........my baby is going to be a big boy in a minute. And though I know I can't stop time......I wish I could. I wish I could just bottle him up. His speech, his hugs, his loving nature. I love this kid. I love our life, right now. It is so precious, our problems are such small ones, our joys are so great. In this month of gratitude I am counting my blessings.....twice.

We survived

Beach drive. 

 She is standing on sand on what would have been a sidewalk across the street, across from the boardwalk from the beach .

Our house, in the background. Thank goodness for hurricane building ordinances when my parents were building. Thanks to our house being 12 feet above sea level, it stayed dry.

Sandy was a devastating storm. This was our first glimpse of our house as town was evacuated and we found this in a photo in the south jersey paper. We didn't lose power and were so grateful. We are heartbroken for our friends who lost vacation homes and those who lost primary residences in this storm ~ and for those who had no power for days or weeks in the aftermath of this storm.