Gratitude

Yesterday I stood in the kitchen chopping fresh basil for a pot of soup for a friend as my little sous chef sat at the island helping me. Luke was at preschool, Nate was out of town. We had music playing, my girl was singing, the house was sunny, and I literally was struck with a pang of gratitude so palpable that it almost made me cry. I feel like so often in my life I have been guilty of living in the future ~ when I was in high school I was focused on college, in college, focused on traveling or adventuring....always thinking about the next career move or the next home or the next thing. As I chopped my basil and spinach yesterday in a warm sunny kitchen, I felt overwhelmed with joy to simply be exactly where I am. I remember the long years of a long distance relationship between Nate and I, the always saying goodbye on Sunday nights or Monday mornings, and the sorrow of that 2 hour drive in the chilly pre dawn hours as I headed straight to the office to begin yet another week apart, and I feel so lucky to now be in our home, with our children, content and just living our life.

I look at these two little people who I spend my days with and know that I am exactly, precisely where I want to be right now. These days can be long, no doubt. The constant cleaning up, the constant chatter (kids just TALK all day long, I don't think that I knew that before having them), the constant change as you leave one phase and enter another can seem overwhelming at times. That said, I would not change it for the world. I think that, at 34 years old, I am finally learning what true contentment is.

Motherhood is one of those things that you can't really understand or know how you will feel about it until you are already knee deep in it. Standing here, up to my waist and about to get deeper, I feel so lucky to say that I love it.