The emotions of a toddler are so very raw. So very readable, so relatable. I feel like Luke did today many times in a week (day?) yet have learned to hide those feelings, or to deal with them, or to do whatever it is that we adults do with our feelings to make them more socially acceptable.
Babies have none of that. Its why I scoff at the idea that a baby can "be held too much" in fear that we "spoil" them. Babies have needs, and only one way of vocalizing those needs. Toddlers are different, they have learned that they have several ways to vocalize those needs, some of them terribly annoying, some of them wonderfully sweet and refreshing and endearing.
Its hot out today. Nate is away. As a "'spesh treat!" I stripped the kids to their diapers and let them loose on the porch with some popsicles after dinner. This is indeed a "spesh treat" (is it gross if I admit that this giant box of popsicles is from last summer? I hope not.). While I finished cooking my dinner, I handed the kids their popsicles and let them loose in the playpen (aka the deck with no ground access). I soon heard a most wretched cry. A full out straight on "I HAVE BEEN WRONGED" sort of cry. Assuming that Jules had perhaps grabbed Luke's popsicle, I ran outside. Alas, it was just that Luke had, in his novice popsicle eating enthusiasm, pushed his treat clear out of the paper container, into a sticky, sodden mess on the floor. He was heartbroken. Literally aghast at the unfairness of the universe and it's working against him. As I played the part of a good Mama (meaning that I laughed privately and grabbed my camera before plucking him up in my arms and promising a better outcome) I thought about how sweet and pure his simple disappointment was.
The ensuing pictures are proof that sometimes, occasionally, Mama can right all that is wrong with the world. My Dad told me when I was first pregnant, "Small kids, small problems" ~ I am learning both how true, and how false, that phrase is. Our problems are relatively small at this point. A popsicle dropped. A toy not shared. Not drugs, not speeding tickets, not "I hate you Mom" sort of things. However, I am also a big believer in the idea that even in the small problems, there are bigger lessons learned. Sometimes (okay, a lot of the time) life is unfair. Sometimes, one has to share, or to endure a time out, or not get what one wants. Sometimes thing are done that cannot be undone. Someone dies. Feelings are hurt. Joy is crushed. Hearts are broken. I try not to indulge my kids. I try to let them learn that there are consequences, that there is simple shit luck, and that sometimes even doing everything right does not ensure the hoped for outcome. I believe that those little lessons will someday, I hope, make my kids better able to endure the ultimate unfairness of life. I pray and hope with all of my being that I can teach my children that sometimes life is hard, and sometimes life is unfair, and that all we can do is to try harder, accept what we cannot change, and keep on keepin on.
Other times, I just hand out another popsicle. Today was one of those other times. Today, I could solve Luke's problem. And today, solving a problem brought both of us joy.
