Friday Night Lights.

Carter, Julia, Luke and Jackson take in the Old Fashioned Christmas Parade. Many thanks to Matt and Melissa for taking on my bigs so that smalls could get to sleep and I could go on a cleaning binge!

When I say "cleaning binge" I really mean that I put Jake to work while I kick back and eat more pizza.

They love watching it cook. If a watched pot never boils, it is nothing short of a miracle that our pizza cooks with 6 little eyes peering at it.

It's a group effort. I was recently laughed at for saying that cooking with a one year old was a great form of down time. I don't care.....because it is true. The kids love to cook, and when Luke told me yesterday (cooking zucchini bread) "now we have to mix the wet ingredients with the dry ingredients.....I know that it is actually paying off, beyond entertainment.

There is nothing necessarily hygienic about it, but it sure is fun.

So! Its another wild and crazy Friday night here at chez Mangan!

I have to admit, I was really really scared about Nate starting school. The big huge fear was never seeing him, him being stressed out all the time....and Friday nights. Friday nights are family nights! We have (or had) a great routine ~ Friday morning was my errand running time with my boyfriend Jake, they napped, I got in a great workout in the post nap afternoon, and we picked up pizza oe had it delivered, then Nate and I had our home date night. Fun and relaxing. I was really afraid of Friday nights alone ~ those are nights where my friends are generally unavailable as they are all doing the family thing. I had visions of me sitting around feeling sorry for myself and crying into my pizza while pining for my husband. However, that routine has continued every other friday....and on the weeks that Nate is at school, I have found myself tremendously happy. I've hosted occasional sleep overs with my girlfriends, and I have rediscovered my passion for both serendipity and cleaning.

Back in the work days Friday nights meant happy hour, or a date night with Nate. In the post kid world, down time at home hosting a game night with friends or simple down time with my family. In the school era? It's like the magic 8 ball is in charge. Tonight was the wonderful "Old Fashioned Christmas Parade" in WC. Living in the Borough, this was a no brainer, we walked up, pregnant, with Luke and pregnant, with two kids, with three kids........and this year? It was just too hard. It was too hard to ruin Jake's bedtime and face the prospect of rolling into the house alone to put three over tired kids to bed hours past their bedtime solo. Much to my delight, friends came to the rescue. Matt and Melissa graciously volunteered to take the bigs to the parade, while Jake and I got to hang out for an hour, and then I went on a ferocious cleaning binge. I love throwing things away. Love it. I get a visceral thrill when I empty more than one large bag of trash into our bin. Is this sad? Am I pathetic? I admit to even getting greedy, eyeing up projects for two weeks from now. Tackling those sneaky little areas where things seem to multiply and collect. We are hosting a party on Sunday, and I am READY. We have not yet put up our tree (which, traditionally we would do tomorrow, but Nate is at school, so we will probably do next week), but most of the Christmas decorations are up. I'm a dork. I probably err on the side of being a bit of a neat freak, but these nights where I have few options socially I admit to greedily hoarding my time to myself, to do something that I enjoy. I really, really love it when Nate comes home on Saturday night and the house is pristine.

Today I also got selfish ~ Luke and Jules live to go to "lunch bunch". Luke goes every Tuesday, because he has enrichment those afternoons, and I have recently come to know the joy that is Friday afternoon lunch bunch for two. This is only the second time I have done it, and it is MAGICAL. The kids get so excited to make their lunches and pack them up in their bags.....I drop them at school at 9:10 and am free (with Jake) until 12:30. The big guy and I do the town (today Gentiles for pointsettias and greens (so cheap!) then Target, a lovely lunch while I unpacked everything, then off to pick up the kids. All three napped, I organized, took a jacuzzi, then rescued a crying Jake for an hour of nursing naptime in my bed, all warm and cozy. We woke to head into West Chester, Luke got a haircut and we picked up our packets for a race that we are running on Sunday with friends before the post race party we are hosting. So dorky! But so fun. It was a lovely sunny crisp day and we had a great time walking around town taking care of business. We came home in time to make our own pizza, which the Reed's shared with us before taking the kids off to the parade. I got the entire upstairs cleaned and organized after I put Jake to bed. Again, not the Friday night that I ever thought (in my 20's) would bring me joy....and it brought me mad joy. This school thing is working out about a million times better than I had ever dreamed. I'm so crazy proud of my husband for the hard work that he is doing, and I am so enjoying the time to do wild and crazy things like clean or dream up marathon schemes. I love our little life. It isn't glamorous, but it sure is fulfilling.

Girlz.

I've got nothin on the picture front, so I am dipping into the archives.

This was my Jules and I on her first birthday, and is one of my favorite pictures of my sweet girl. What a fun day that was.

I was away from the kids this weekend ~ enjoying time with some of my girlfriends down in Cape May.

It was the first time that I have been away from the kids (without Nate) since giving birth to Luke some 31+ months ago (but who's counting? :)) I can joyously say that Nate did a fantastic job with the kids and allowed me to enjoy my time with my friends with nary a panicked call. I was both proud and grateful. It is so nice to have a husband who is such a great father, and who takes his job of Dad very seriously. The grapevine tells it that he put the kids in some rather strange outfits (Jules was rumored to be a pink on pink pepto~ish wonder on Saturday), but that goes with the territory. Thank you, Nate, for treating the kids to a great weekend with their Dad while Mom got a chance to relax and recharge.

I know that I have talked about it before in my blog, but the value of my girlfriends is unable to be quantified. I honestly don't know what I would do without the input and support and advice and kindness and empathy of my friends. I feel quite certain that I would not be as confident or as happy of a Mama as I am without them. Being able to share our struggles, share our joys, and share our experiences is just such a blessing to me. I feel so lucky to know and to love their children, and to see them know and love my kids. I love the fact that we all have our slight differences in how we parent, yet have total respect for one another and recognize that we are each doing our very best to raise these young people who we love so much. My friends teach me so much.

Motherhood is HARD, folks. Yes it is natural, and yes it is the source of the greatest joy I have ever known, and no I would not trade it for the world ~ But it is HARD work. It is heart wrenching, it is scary, it is exhausting, it is humbling. And to have a league of people just one short phone call away ~ people who are going through the very same thing, is invaluable. To be able to confess that some nights I cry when I am saying Luke's prayers as I pray to be a better Mama tomorrow, and to hear that every.single.one of my friends does the same thing is so infinitely liberating. To get the "true Mama confessional" phone calls every other day or so makes me know that I am so not alone in always wondering if I am failing in some way. (FYI the true mama confessional calls begin something like this~

"My husband just walked in the door and I handed off the kids and I am going shopping for underwear and I am going to take three hours just to make sure that they are asleep before I get home so that I don't lose my mind"

Or~

"Today I don't like one of my children. I did like them this morning. But then they put a stuffed animal down the toilet, resulting in a several hundred dollar plumber visit, and then they colored on the dog and I feel like a failure because I feel as though I have yelled at them all day long".

And.... we laugh. We talk about it, and we laugh. We commiserate. I make the same calls too. We need the support, the mutual understanding, the forgiveness that only another Mother facing the same challenges can offer. Thank you to the friends who shared this past weekend with me, and to all who didn't. Thank you to my far away friends, my friends with older kids, and younger kids, and those whose blogs I laugh and cry at. Thank you all for helping guide me along this crazy ride called Motherhood. Thank you for allowing me to share your joys and sorrows, and for bearing mine as well. I am proud to call all of you my friends. My life is so much the better for each of you and your place in it.

(It was so very great to get away............and so very great to come home. My children never smelled as good as they did after 2 days away from them. Positively edible. I think that I took off a layer of skin with my homecoming kisses)

For Nate, Day 10

Today is day 10 of Nate being away from the kids. I believe that that is twice as long as he has ever been apart from them. They miss him. Every time Jules sees a pic of him she says "Hi Dada!" and starts doing her little hyperventilating laugh, and every morning when Luke talks to him on the phone he signs off with "Bye bye Dada, Love you Dada". The pics are from this morning. We were outside and playing (i.e not inside driving one another crazy) by 8 am. Jules now knows where her ears, eyes, nose and mouth are. Her vocabulary is ridiculous. I don't know if its a boy vs. girl thing, or just a Luke vs. Jules thing, but I honestly don't believe that Luke was speaking like her even at 18 months, and she is only 13 months. She will entertain herself "reading" a book, leafing through the pages (oftentimes upside down) and babbling incoherently away. Luke is TOTALLY ADVANCED, like, GIFTED at using the word NO lately :/ . I don't know where this came from (or how the heck to make it stop, NOW) but I really really hate the NO thing. It seems to be the first thing he says, to most anything I say. We always get through it, but the extra time/conversation around every.single.thing is honestly simply exhausting. I can't wait for Nate to get home, simply to deflect some of the "NO's" away from me.

Playgroup was at our house today. The above is a few of the kids playing "Ring around the Rosie". Hilarity ensued.

I feel so lucky to have my playgroup. We have been together since our kids were 8 weeks old or so, though many of us met when our babies were but a few days old at the nursing Moms support group that we went to. Who would have known two years ago what a huge part of my life these ladies, and their sweet babies would become. From the days where we sat around talking about our birth stories while our babies nursed or lay prone and unmoving on blankets on the floor, until now, these girls have become a great resource to me ~ both in knowledge and in simple encouragement. Its HARD being a Mom. Sleepless nights are HARD. The worry and fear are HARD. Toddlers are REALLY hard. Just being able to confess my frustrations, or fears, or how a sweet little cuddly two year old can honestly inspire feelings of rage, is so freeing. Its amazing how though we all have different kids, with different strengths or weaknesses or challenges, we all experience the same feelings as Mothers. We have moved from birth stories and immobile newborns, through solids, through immunizations, through weaning, through nap transitions, through crib/bed transitions, through discipline, through vacations, through lots of laughs, and lots of tears, through many second children and here we are today, with kids who sing songs, play together, and know one another as true FRIENDS. I am grateful to share this journey through Motherhood with such fantastic women, and phenominal Mothers.

Nate, come home soon. I'm tired :)

PS ~ Nate ~ See the grass in the background? ITS GREEN! IT'S REALLY GREEN!

Do the Zoo

Today was a storybook day. I am so glad that I did not eat one of the children back on Monday or Tuesday, as they both brought me inordinate joy today :)

We left the house at 9 am ~ ready for a morning at the Zoo. We probably visited the zoo a good 8 or 9 times last year, as we tried to take advantage of our membership. As I cruised down 76 I had flashbacks of our first trip to the zoo last year as a Mom/15 mo old/not yet two month old. I sweated, in remembrance. It was hard. We did it, but it was hard. I honestly remember my stomach clenching as we parked, thinking about nursing, walking, feeding, shading, diapering, entertaining, naps and so on.

I am happy to say that today was a blast. I got to catch up with my much loved friend Jenny and her sweet and beautiful Elisabeth, and the kids had a great time.

Oh, the change from a 1 year old at the zoo to a 2 year old at the zoo! I had to laugh as I remembered Luke's very first visit to the zoo, which happened in Norfolk, at the tender age of 7 weeks old, on our first rugby road trip. As Nate got ready for his game, I took Luke to the zoo. He slept through the entire adventure,and I felt like I was again entertaining my cousins "Flat Stanley" as I propped his stroller up against different animals. It was about me, not about Luke.

Today was a whole new game. "More Animals!" Luke kept exclaiming. Jules seemed to catch his excitement, and continually uttered "Dat? Dat! DAT!" as she pointed and watched. The sunshine made me feel joy. My kids made me feel joy.

Luke, you have become a dipper. Every time we eat bread with dinner I hear "Dip Dip Dip!" at least 30 times as he begs for the olive oil. Last night Luke dipped all of his chicken in balsamic creme. The other day, it was hummus, baba ganoush the day before that. Turkey and cheese roll ups get dipped in mustard. Today, they had a sippy cup that proved leaky. It made a generous puddle in the floor of our BOB. Luke dipped his hot dog in the puddle. Not just once. He felt a physical NEED to dip that dog. I was disgusted.

All dirty water dipping aside, it was a glorious day. I love and need my girlfriends, and, Jenny ~ to get to catch up today was a gift. The kids fell asleep in the car, and transferred into cribs/beds seamlessly. They slept for a few hours while I recovered. We went to our little "family Friday happy hour" at the gym, so the kids played, we worked out, and then all ate pizza at home. I bathed our little infidels, and off to bed they went.

Some days are really hard. Some days are really easy. Some days I just kiss on bellies and wonder how on earth I lucked into these wonderful little sunbeams I call my kids.

Maiden Voyage

We have added a new weapon to our arsenal of child transport devices. Welcome, BOB Revolution Duallie. You join a well stocked fleet of slings, carriers, car seats, and single and double strollers. After much research you were hand picked for your ease of maneuverability, your comfort, your durability, your jogging capabilities, and the fact that you will cook us dinner.

Just kidding on the cooking bit.

We took 'er out for a spin this afternoon, on what was really our first fairly chilly day of fall. I love this stroller. I no longer have an excuse to not get out and exercise outside with the kids.

In other news, it has been an extraordinarily easy and wonderful week at home. We have rather suddenly settled into a great schedule. Luke wakes up around 7, Julia around 8. Julia is now napping from about 10 - 12.30, Luke napping from 12-3, and Jules napping again from around 3-5. They both go to bed at 7. It gives me a lot of alone time with each kid, and a lot of time to get some things done. I have decided that I could never live in a place without seasons. I need the change that seasons offer us. While summer is fantastic and beautiful and great, its also exhausting and hectic and very....driven. This week we really segued into fall mode. For me, that entails lots more cooking and general homemaker type poking around-ish jobs. Its time to hunker down (and slow down) a little. Its fueled by the shorter and colder days making us spend more time in the house, which then mandates that the house become a place that I want to be for large chunks of time every day. I take a lot more pleasure in being organized this time of year. I take a lot more pleasure in cooking food for my family, and making baby food for Julia. I enjoy the quiet afternoons with some music on and Luke throwing impromptu dance parties while I cook.

My girlfriends are the glue that holds this whole "at home" schedule together. I have friends and their kids over almost every day, and it keeps me sane, and it keeps my kids sane. Thank you to all my girlfriends for sharing your wisdom with me, for sharing your empathy with me, your experience, your struggles. Its just so edifying to know that so many of us struggle with the same things as we work hard to be the best Mom's we can be to our children. Whether its what to feed them, how to discipline them, how to diaper them, or how to educate them, (and everything in between!) I learn so very much from my friends. Thank you and your beautiful children for all that you are to me and to my kids.

(And Jenny, thank you for the beautiful sweater that you made Luke ~ Julia is now wearing it, and anywhere and everywhere we go I get accosted by other Mothers wanting to know where I bought it :)!