Julia's well visit.

We had Julia's 4 year well visit today. I admit to being nervous, as this one included 4 shots. Shots are funny with older kids, with babies they are heartbreaking and tear inducing because these sweet innocent things have no idea what is happening to them....but with older kids there is an element of preparation (therefore, fear) that goes along with it. We talked about it in advance, how the Dr would ask her questions, how she would be in her underwear but that it was okay for the Dr to look at her private parts, how she was going to get some shots. I had all three kids with me, which always makes things extra interesting, of course. The visit went well, she passed her eye test perfectly, did the colorblind thing fine, answered the Dr's questions about things like letters and numbers, then dutifully laid down for her shots. I asked her if she wanted me to hold her hand like I did when she got her ears pierced. She said, "sure, Mom" as though she was reasurring me, not the reverse. The Dr recommended that I hold both hands, as most kids tried to kick/and or grab at the shots. Not my Jules. She giggles through the first one, took the next two in stride, and the fourth one made her said "ouch" as the Dr was warning me that that one would burn going in. Not a tear. I was so proud of her. I have gone from a super anti vax fear monger to a grateful, informed vaccinator who feels that I am both protecting my children, and society in general by vaccinating my children. We still wait on some, and space a few out, but in general we follow the schedule that our Dr's recommend. We love and trust our Dr's. At 37 lbs and 40.5 inches, Julia continued to follow her growth curve and is 90% for height and weight.

It's been a good week at chez Mangan. The kids have been easy, Nate has been away, but we have our rhythm down and mix things up with quiet nights and busy nights with friends. School and the gym are our constants, and we love our routine.

Jake got his first haircut today ~ it was on a whim, Luke was looking shaggy and we had some time to kill between Julias appointment and going out to dinner with Nate. Luke went short in Spring mode, and as the barber had a second, I threw Jake up into the chair for some mullet clean up (can't stand baby mullet). He sat, totally transfixed, staring at himself in the mirror, then started giggling as the barber used the clippers. The barber (our friend, Craig, who we love and we take the boys to every time) was giggling himself, which is funny in a 200 lb bald man with tattoos, saying that he has never seen a baby sit so still for a haircut. It was adorable. We had a great dinner out at Firecreek, and put every one to bed happy and healthy.

I had a good gratitude check today, and am working on improving my general attitude. Our schedule with Nate's travel and school is rather exhausting, but I'm really working hard to try to accept rather than rail against it internally. It isn't easy, but nothing worthwhile is easy. I know that we will all come out of this better ~ literally each one of us ~ and when we have a plethora of family time again we will revel in it. Until then, we will savor the moments that we have. A busy weekend ahead and then a few days of respite at the beach with friends.....then Easter insanity. This weekend includes two egg hunts, so that should be fun. We haven't mentioned the Easter Bunny once, I think that we are officially an anti easter bunny family. That thing still freaks me out. There are worse crimes, right?

4~!

We celebrate Julia's actual birthday eve with the Reeds and some cake.

On her Birthday Mom Mom and Pop Pop took her out for lunch and to get a manicure! Pink with white polka dots, very very fancy.

Celebrating her birthday at school on Wednesday. Each child in the class asks Julia a question about herself. It is really cute.

She insisted that her little brother sit next to her. The Mother hen instinct is strong in this one.

Ice cream cups for snack! Can I admit to being thrilled when that was what she insisted on ~ no baking! :)

So, my baby girl is 4. I can't believe it, I feel like I was holding her in the delivery room but a second ago. At 4 Julia is an easy kid 99% of the time. She entertains herself easily, she can sit still whenever necessary, and she is incredibly well spoken and easy to talk to. She loves her brothers fiercely. She is definitely my one child with my intensity, and can be very stubborn on occasion. She makes friends easily and is good at sharing and working together. Her and Luke can sit and work for hours on a coloring project or a puzzle without a problem or complaint. She loves to sing, and I hear her laying in bed singing for up to an hour some nights. She is all things girly ~ picking her hair style every day and insisting on a dress 90% of the time. She got a bike for her birthday and is ALLLLL about the bike, which marks her first true interest in athletics ~ she is generally more interested in watching Luke than in participating directly. This has me very excited as I hope for her to find a sport that she loves at some point. She starts T-Ball with Luke in April and I can't wait to see how that goes.

Julia, I love your quick mind and your kind heart. I love your fire. I love how independent you are and hope that you never, ever let that independence be squashed. You know your mind and you know your heart and you follow it with passion and intensity. Thank you for being you, you funny and lovely little girl. I think that great things lie in store for you, and I can't wait to see what joys your 4th year bring to our entire family. Happy birthday, kiddo.

Really, you stupid freaking bird?

El bird, alive. In the morning. While playing baseball outside before school as we were all dressed and ready to go way too early. The kids were freaked out about this stunned bird. They wanted to help it. They wanted to, like, kiss it's mean, shiny, SHARP ass stunned beak. I held them at bay, and called my Mom. My MOM, who is famous for picking up snapping turtles and wounded birds who then peck her to death or get eaten by snakes, and other famous family incidents of "kindness". I figured that she would tell me to help the bird. She DIDN'T! She told me the bird was stunned, to take the kids to school, and that she would be gone by the time we got back. Awesome. Bird and beak freedom. So, I took it. We all were extra quiet and reverent due to the bird. I may actually buy a fake hurt bird and position it strategically around the house, now that I know what it is that I know. The power of the bird, and all.

So, the whole way home we talked about the bird. As she had moved from laying to standing before we left, I was 100% on team "better" for this freaking bird. So we talked about how the bird was probably at home talking about how she met this awesome family of baseball players and about how respectful they had been and whatnot. So as I drive my gigantic SUV into the garage I'm breaking my own neck to make sure that the bird is gone! It's gone! We all cheer! HUZZAH! El bird LIVED and is talking about our awesomeness in a beautiful happy little nest.

Except. Except that while I walked around to unbuckle Jake, Luke and Julia, (who let themselves out, now, thanks to Luke) ran into the driveway and tripped upon the dead freaking bird. Dead. Upside down. And super dead. Somehow my gigantic tires escaped rendering the dummie the final indignity of smashedness, but it wasn't pretty.

Of course, Jeannie and Henry, and the "dishwasher man" bringing us a new dishwasher, were all due in 15 minutes. No pressure, bird. Jerk.

I had to quickly shut the garage, rescind my plans of "you can play outside while I cook" and have like 30 awesome and spontanious talks about death! Because that is super fun! And when you say that you are going to bury the bird, and then throw it down a hillside with a snow shovel while your kids are eating, and they want to know where you "barrrrrried that birrrrrrrd", and you want to super stab yourself in the face for not remembering to dig a fake shallow dug up spot, you get really mad at birds. I had to explain how she died, too. It went something along the lines of "she was looking to meet a husband........" and really went downhill from there. I give my kids way too much info. If you are that parent at school who doesn't want your kids to know about where babies come out or how birds mate, don't send them to my kdis school. I don't even mean to be honest, it happens by accident. How the heck else do you explain some vain ass birds death in our driveway? Shooting? No.

Playground. Day 1. We are now in the eve of day three and I Love my life in new ways. Spring is where it is AT, baby.

Yes, that was me who accidentally dressed them all the same. Weird how that happens, literally unintended. Will say, learned a new lesson ~ At the playground (or pool) we are going color coded. As we spent 3 hours at the park with friends that afternoon it was SO easy to find my kids!

Three big kids on swings!

Three cheers to death, and to death visiting us in our driveway! Thanks, bird! Happy week over 70, to everyone on the east coast. This is some crazy wonderful stuff, and I can't believe it. The kids are already turning blonder and I have sock tan lines. Crazy.

Celebrating Julia's 4th birthday

This may be my new favorite picture of my little lady ~ about to get a manicure and pedicure before her family arrived to celebrate her.

A casual Wonder Woman in pearls opens her first present.

Cake!

Daddy helps.

The cake she chose. She was so proud of it.

These birthdays really don't get any easier, do they?

For some reason 4 sounds like a little girl to me, not my baby anymore. She really enjoyed her party and I was so proud to see her running around with her cousins all day having a good time. She even slept in her wonder woman costume. Some things just aren't worth saying "no" to.

While I love the little lady she is becoming I can't lie ~ I feel like this is all going much, much too quickly and some days I want that little baby Jules back ~ the 21 month old sitting at the table talking about her "peanut buttah doast". I get scared for the years ahead ~ she is still so sweet and snuggly and affectionate......I get scared to watch that slowly but surely slip away.

Gah, now I'm making myself cry. See why I've been putting off this post?

Escape.

I know that there are big SUV haters out there. To you I give a giant neener neener......because instead of having to take two cars ~ two runners, two running strollers, two women, and 4 kids in giant carseats (two rear facing two forward facing) and our food for three days, we happily piled into my giant SUV for some (tempered) Thelma and Louise styled getaway. Contrary to (some) popular belief, women CAN pack, and pack well.

This is love. I am so lucky to have a best friend whose beautiful son is sharing his childhood as part of our family. They adore one another. Julia and Henry may marry, for serious.

Luke wanted to go swimming. In March. In the chilly Atlantic. Another polar bear club member may be joining the ritual, sooner than thought.

Jake was simply wind and awe struck by the entirety of it.

This photo simply IS my Julia. I have never met such a young girl so sure of herself ~ my little one is firmly and beautifully her own spirit. She loves life, and the way that she carries herself inspires me to be my most authentic self, just as she is. Julia has mastered the art of independence coupled with a compliant and nurturing spirit. She could care less what others are doing, yet she mothers all around her in a caring and sweet way. She can be fierce, and tender, and seems to have a wonderful balance of both. She is an incredibly easy child to parent, while teaching me lessons each and every day. I love her exuberance and her individuality. She knows exactly what resonates with her, enacts it, yet still exhibits a willing and compliant spirit. I wish I could be more like her. She awes me.

Luke is getting more and more expressive and creative with his writing. This one made me get teary. This kid want's to learn, and loves to learn, with very little actual guidance from me.

I want to frame this picture. This was at the Nature Sanctuary. Something about the little fervently chasing the big just melts me. The best part was right after this shot, when Luke realized that Jake was trailing behind, and turned around and came back to his brother and put his arm around him. I don't know how in the hell we are doing it, but somehow we have been blessed with children who really, really love one another. They make parenting very easy.

It was a wonderful three days in Cape May. We lucked out weather wise, catching an impossibly nice few days considering it is early March. We had to get out of dodge as Jakes room and the boys bathroom are getting painted, so it seemed easiest to simply escape. Jeannie and I didn't stop talking for a second (even when we ought to have, somewhere near the 322 exit, ahem).......and our kids had a great time playing outside in the wonders that the beach provides. I will say that this is just getting easier and easier ~ my kids entertain one another, meals are less messy, the walks are long without tired legs or double strollers, and things are just rolling. We have a long Memorial Day weekend planned, a week over the 4th of July, and the last week of July into August planned at the beach. Prior to that I hope to get down a lot in April and May, given the newfound ease of it.

I feel like I've been complainey again lately, and I apologize. I am an anxious person. I am a planner. To a T. I like things neat. I need a plan. I'm not the best at just "going with the flow".......I have always gotten frustrated by these attributes in myself, but lately I am seeing the upside. The kids are on a schedule, and the schedule means that they know what to expect, and are comfortable and secure within their world. I know what to expect, and can manipulate it when necessary to meet our needs or allow for exciting adventures. Of course they can be annoying at times, the "mom, Mom, MOM!" thing can drive me mental, but in general they are incredibly easy children. I am so proud of the way that they interact with one another, with other kids, and with other adults. I'm proud of the fact that they don't need me all day long, they rely on one another more than I could have hoped. I love the way that they love their little brother, and include him in their adventures. All in all my heart is very full tonight, so full that it is quieting my anxious mind which wants to worry about tomorrow (with a sick husband with strep) and a party to host. It will all be good. And I'll tell you what, I tend to be a bit of a scrooge about parties in general, but I could not be happier that we are having this (tiny, family only) birthday party for my Julia. She is beside herself with excitement.

To share a totally stupid aside, I let her pick her cake. We love the cakes from Clays Bakery, and they have a ridiculous on line gallery of photos. I promised her she could pick whatever she wanted. I cringed as I saw the cakes. Princesses, Princesses, tiara's, and more princesses. Laying down princesses, standing up princesses. Suddenly Jules screamed "THAT IS THE CAKE I WANT! SUPERGIRL!!!!!!!!".

So my darlin has a supergirl cake. As much fun as I would have had cutting into the face of some snowy white Disney princess, instead I get to cut into a gigantic "S" with wings. Jules, you are my supergirl, and I'm proud to know you. I immediately went on line and broke our "one birthday present" rule............I'm a rule breaker after all, and ordered her a wonder woman costume. So tomorrow at her (tiny!) family celebration my girl gets her supergirl cake, and gets to open her wonder woman costume. Next week we will go pick out her "real" present, a bike, but until then, I simply feel very content with where these kids of ours are. They are doing just fine. It seems, that SO FAR, we have managed to not screw em up, in fact, they are exceeding my expectations by leaps and bounds.

Getaways are great. End of story.

My poor neglected blog.

I'm a terrible blogger lately.

I have been busy trying to decorate for Spring around here, get the outdoors pruned/weeded/composted etc, stay on top of the kids school stuff (which sounds ridiculous, but between registering them for camps/preschool for next year/kindy and things like homework "green day" "sink or float" day and more school feels like a part time job all of a sudden. I've been picking paint colors for Jakes room and the bathroom, planning Easter, planning Julia's birthday party (her family one, and then the one I am forced into doing at preschool), ordering Easter outfits, registering for T-Ball, dealing with the fact that Jake is getting molars, and, oh, trying to fit in a work out or two and manage staying in touch with all of my friends.

Not a complaint ~ I'm just shocked at how hard I feel like I've been working and how much still seems to need to get done.

Anyone know someone looking to intern for the job of stay at home Mom? I'll gladly take them on for the next three months. Or years.