Yes, a year apart is close. I hadn't noticed.

This was the kids tonight waiting for Mom Mom to get here for dinner. They stood transfixed at the window holding the books that they had picked out for her to read to them for about 10 minutes before my Mom called to let me know that she was running a little late. I told Luke to read a book to Jules while they waited, and they plunked themselves down right in the middle of the kitchen floor and Luke "read" the entire book to her. I have to tell you, I get/got a ton of comments about how close my kids are in age. Some kind, some worried, some bordering on rude, or at least thoughtless (You DO know how that happens, right?" or, "Wow! Your life is over!" sort of comments during my pregnancy with Jules. It was annoying, but not bothersome to the point where it actually made me angry. I got comments like "Oh I would just HATE having two in diapers!". That one in particular always made me laugh. I just don't understand the logic. If you have three kids, say, 3.5 years apart each, and each potty trains at 3, that is 9 years of wiping bottoms and dealing with dirty diapers. To have two in diapers takes years off of your total time spent dealing with diapers. I may only have, say, 6 total years of dealing with wiping bottoms due to the close spacing of my kids. I have no idea what the point of this diaper illustration is, other than to say that I absolutely love how close age Luke and Jules are, and I have no idea why anyone ever feels the need to comment on the spacing of another couples children.

So here is my random list of things that I adore about having my kids so close in age.

*They entertain one another and Luke will never remember his life without his sisters presence in it.

*There was no jealousy or regression to deal with when we brought Jules home from the hospital.

*My maternity clothes were all still in fashion ("fashion" being very loosely used here, of course).

*They are in the same phase at about the same time. They will ride the elementary school, middle school and high school bus together almost every year.

*They will have friends and social lives in common.

*They will look out for one another at school.

*Everything is fresh in my mind. I didn't have to re learn all of the infant care/fever/dosing etc sort of things.

*All of their gear works (like car seats, which expire after 5 years for safety reasons).

*They learn to share and to take turns as it is something that they do on an hour by hour basis, not just in school or on play dates.

*My kids will be off to school sooner, I won't be home living life around the schedule of a baby for years upon years on end. I will be able to work, or play golf, or volunteer, much sooner than if I had a newborn every 4 years.

*Laying in bed while two toddlers throw their arms around you in the mornings smothering you with kisses and telling you how much they love you might just be the best thing on earth.

I have no idea why this is even on my mind. Consider it my PSA for the week ~

Don't worry about how people plan their families. Some people can deal well and enjoy closely spaced kids, some would not. Some people like small families, some large. I love the fact that many people have made clear to me that they would not like such closely spaced kids. I recommend that those people DO NOT HAVE CLOSELY SPACED KIDS. YOU WOULD PROBABLY BE LOUSY AT IT. I would probably be lousy at having mine all far apart, I fully admit that. I would have a hard time going "back" to baby world after moving into school age kids. I know that about myself, so made choices accordingly. I also recommend that those people who feel the need to opine on the choices of others remember that everyone is different, and those differences are what make the world so much fun.

Big guy stuff

It was a week of firsts.

Luke's first entire week as a potty trained big guy.

His first day of pseudo school (it was actually just a meet the teachers and kids play day at his new school).

His first real haircut (as opposed to his one or two prior mullet shaping experiences).

Thursday morning was our first day at school. It was a very informal thing ~ just the parents and the kids and the teachers for 2 hours at the playground of Luke's school. I admit to being nervous. In fact, I even admit to calling my Mom on our way there and leaving her a voice mail letting her know where we were going ~ and getting teary as I left the message. I KNOW. I KNOW it's just preschool. I KNOW he is just 2.5. I KNOW that it is just two mornings a week. Yet. Yet it still feels so big. Such a mixture of excitement and pride and fear and change. We chose a co-op preschool. Which means a lot of parental involvement, committees, and relationship with the other parents and teachers and kids. I was excited/nervous to meet the other Mom's and kids. I know that I have been a mother for well over 2 years now, but the idea of me (Melissa!) as "The Mom" is still equally thrilling and unsettling. Which is strange ~ I'm hardly a "young mom".....yet in so many ways I still think of myself as a kid. So. We went.

Luke is pretty much the most easy going and independent kid I could imagine. No fear. No separation anxiety. Just a happy go lucky little dude who welcomed a chance to do dangerous fun climbing on new playground equipment surrounded by new kids. There are a total of 10 kids in his class (2 teachers and one parent aide/class)..........which meant 10 Moms standing around the playground. 10 Moms and one Dad, that is, as Nate stopped in on his way to golf to meet the teachers. Being a Mom is like dating again. The same covert sizing up of situations ~ but instead of checking out clothes or ring less fingers it is an attempt to put a kid with a Mom, and a name with a face. Its great to say that we all never judge or make assumptions ~ yet we do, all the time. Glancing around ~ seeing "perfect mom", "mom in full make up", "harried stressed mom", "nervous helicopter mom" etc...... is always just a funny moment. I was thrilled to learn that we have a bunch of great Moms in Luke's preschool. I was instantly enamored by the totally beautiful put together Mom of 5, and then equally impressed by the Mom's of one, and the older Moms, and the younger Moms. It seems like a great mix and I look forward to interacting with and forming friendships with all of them. It was so much fun to watch the kids interact and to recognize that these kids are going to become a huge part of Luke's life over the next year/s. I was really impressed with the teachers ~ they seemed kind and fun and truly interested in simply meeting and understanding the kids and their parents. Luke is in the gender minority ~ 6 girls, 4 boys in his class. He is also in the potty trained minority, being one of two potty trained kids in the class. Our official orientation/meeting with the directors is this coming Thursday, and his official first day of school is on the 15th. The first pic is of Luke and Jules right before we left for school that day. Luke is looking rather Amish with his shaggy hair, and Jules rather put out at the idea of losing her brother for two mornings a week.

To address the Amish look, Luke and I had a date this morning. While Nate and Jules went to Home Depot, Luke and I went to the barber shop. My brave and funny little man sat in the barber chair as though he had been doing it his entire life, and laughed as she cut his hair, exclaiming over and over "It tickles Mama!" as she took the clippers to his head. I can't believe the difference. I can't believe what a little BOY he suddenly is. We continued our post haircut date with a trip to the farmers market and the grocery store ~ between the picture perfect weather and my sweet boys company my heart just felt like bursting with joy. I felt positively overwhelmed with gratitude for the happy little guy by my side.

In other news ~ Julia is no longer just Julia. She is now known as "My Julia", or "My little Julia". If Luke wakes up first from his naps or in the morning, the first thing that he asks is "Where is my little Julia Mama?". Luke seems to think of his sister as part and parcel of himself. Even at the barber shop today when the barber asked him how old he was ~ he said "I'm two, my Julia is one". Jules reciprocates the love ~ and my daughter is apparently French. Her brother (to her) is Louie. Every morning when I go to get her out of her crib the first words out of her mouth are "Where Louie, Mama?".

So. Here we are. Luke is potty trained and starting pre school. Jules will likely never wean, and has decided that itsy bitsy spider is the best song on Earth and hearing it sung 3,000 times a day is insufficient ;). And Louie and Jules are the very best of friends.

Comparison ~ '08 to '09

Peas and Carrots

I have gotten the "are they twins?" thing three times this past week. Until recently, this question was usually only asked by those suffering from severe visual impairments, or those not quite all "there". It's pretty (okay, totally completely) obvious to me that my children are not the same age, but apparently it isn't to others. I am sure that this question is one that I will hear throughout their childhoods.

The second child phenomenon astounds me. I don't know if it is simply more severe in my case because of how close in age Luke and Jules are, or if it is like this in every family. Jules is a kid already, at 14 months. She does everything that Luke does. She pretty much spends her entire day looking at Luke, then doing exactly what he is doing. Jules talks, sings, dances, plays, and takes her falls like a big kid already. While it cracks me up, it also breaks my heart. My little baby, playing golf, reading books, and demanding "more music" every time a song ends during our after dinner dance parties. Luke, in turn, adores his baby sister. He never asks for something without asking for one for her. I remember feeling like I was "cheating" on Luke early in my pregnancy with Julia. I felt guilty that he was going to be an only child for such a short time. Now I just look back and laugh. I cannot possibly imagine a way that we could have come up with a better gift for Luke than sweet Jules has turned out to be. Aside from claiming our hearts, Julia has totally stolen her brother's.

In other news, we were out at a dinner party last night and came home to find that Mulligan had gotten himself sprayed by a skunk AGAIN, and AGAIN was let in the house before the realization struck. So our dog stinks, and our house stinks, and serious talks were had on the golf course today regarding the Dog's happiness, our happiness with the Dog, and so on. Negotiations continue. Anyone just pining away for a heavily scented Wheaten Terrier who has a lot of love to give? Call me.

The kids had a blast at a graduation party tonight, and fell into bed dirty and tired and slightly sticky. We are off to high school again tomorrow as the kids are going to visit Becca's class. Tomorrow is also our first official pick up at the farm. I can't wait to see the kids go hog wild in the picking garden. The week is jam packed, and to be honest, I'm already getting a little tired thinking about it, so I'm going to bed.

Buddies and Balls

Luke and Julia now play catch together, and kick the ball back and forth to one another. They just started shooting hoops together today.

I admit to being hopelessly addicted to all things athletic, and Nate is the same way. To see our kids standing in the living room kicking the ball back and forth to one another and clapping and cheering for each other made me unduly proud and excited. To see Luke hitting his (hilariously out sized golf club, thanks Aunt Jenny!) while he shouts "Go in dat hole!" makes me so excited. The two of them played basketball together in the living room today for the first time. Luke kept shouting "Ammost Julja!" as she missed time and time again.

I don't care what my kids do. I don't care if they love gardening, or cross-stitching, or playing the tuba, or painting murals. I do distinctly have a secret little hope that they love (like? tolerate?) sports, solely because they have been such a huge part of our lives, and have made such a positive impact in our lives. I (very selfishly) would love it if they play golf as I can already visualize Jules and I beating Nate and Luke on 18 someday. Could I really be so lucky as to get to see Jules playing field hockey? Or Luke strapping on football pads? Is that wrong~ to hope that, just a little bit? Are we really supposed to not hope that our kids like what we like? I will NEVER (mark my freaking words) be one of those pushy demanding sports parents who are living vicariously through their children. Ever. But, I can say that if they happen to like all things ball someday like they do now, it will be a great common ground for us to meet on.

Anyway. The No's went away today. I don't know if Luke was just out of whack from having so many different caregivers during our vacation, if he was spoiled from all of the extra hands/love, if he was secretly angry at me for being away and unable to articulate it, or (this was my deep dark nasty evil degrading thought today ~ Maybe he was angry that I was back? ;/)..........but whatever it was today the sun shone again in our home.

Nate comes home tomorrow. Enjoy the pics, Nate. The kiddos miss you. Jules walks around the house with anything square pressed up to her ear saying "Hi Da Da!" over and over and over.........and when asked, Luke says "Da Da workin, Da Da airplane".

I can't wait to see them welcome you home tomorrow.