Catching up, slowly.

Playing in Mirror Lake. Our kids first time swimming in a lake.

This may be my favorite picture in recent memory. The entire series of trying to get this photo is hilarious ~ Jake kept trying to usurp his brother and take the throne, so you see me in various stages of belly laughing grabbing Jake up and putting him back in his spot. We finally had the good luck to snap this one. We had like 12 seconds to get it as we were rushing off to a boat ride on Lake Placid.

On top of the Olympic ski jump. It was.....scary. I can't even imagine the nerves those men and women faced riding up the lonely elevator shaft to the top of the jump. I have an entirely different appreciation of this sport after perching from the precipice that they depart from. I felt all, LUKE! JULIA! HANDS! HOLD MY HAND! WATCH YOUR STEP! DON'T DIE! armpity sweaty the entire time we were up there. I had no idea that the Lake Placid area would be so magnificent. Heights don't scare me. Heights with small children? The stuff of my nightmares.

I love this photo. Jules could totally be Brooke's daughter. I love my Jules, and I love my Brooke, and I don't know what I would do without wonderful caregivers like her. To say that she is part of our family would be an understatement.

Us, being naughty. We snuck into some super elite resort under cover of darkness to snap some photos. Jake was sleeping in the car. It was night one "put Jake to bed in the pack and play via tourist stuff" plan, and it went off without a hitch.

Tonight is last night eve. Last night before the actual last night when Nate starts school. He has been out of town since Tuesday, but is now home. He is off studying, and I am enjoying the song of the crickets as I sit on the deck on a lovely evening.

I had an awful Monday and Tuesday. Re-entry is so hard after vacation. Food shopping with all three kids, unpacking, laundry, tired kids (they shared a room on vacation via bunk beds ~ we sat outside their room listening to the priceless and incredibly hilarious stories they told one another....but they stayed up super late entertaining one another)....well, it was just a lot. It was hard for me to fit that transition into the simultaneous transition of solo parenting after being used to having Brooke and Nate having my back.

I cried Tuesday night. I felt like yelling Mom. I don't want to be yelling Mom.

We set some new rules. I apologized to my kids for yelling the past two days. We set objectives. Luke's objective was to keep his hands to himself. (He gets enthusiastic at the gym in spider mountain and jump zone). Julia's objective was to not destroy our home (she gets unduly creative on non paper surfaces). My objective was to not yell. We had a big meeting, the kids and I. Nate was out of town. We have achieved our objectives for two days. I am amazed at how simply setting an intention can be a great incentive. Motherhood is really hard. I think that one of the best things about it is when you can admit your weaknesses to your kids, talk about theirs, and set a plan to hold one another accountable. I can't tell you how much better I have felt in the past two days. I apologized to my kids, and they showed me grace. When they show me grace and compassion, I want to do better, to be better. I find myself allowing them grace in their mistakes, as after stating my objectives, I am more aware of my own. I am so lucky to know these little people.