My poor sweet blog....I'm back.

 This picture of my Jules freaks me out a little. Because I can see her. Not the baby her, but the girl her, which is ultimately the woman her. And WOW. I'm not ready to see the girl her, even though I catch glimpses of that girl, and ultimately that woman, every day as this wee lass mothers our Jake, or is kind and helpful to me or her siblings. I also see it in the way that she makes shrewd and independent decisions which wow me ~ this little girl is going to do great things. She proves to me, on a daily basis, what a quick mind, and a fierce little spirit tempered by a desire to help others, or empathy, that just really bowls me over. Julia is cool, sometimes shy, sometimes fierce, sometimes incredibly nurturing.....but always, ALWAYS, Jules. And I would not have her any other way. In the course of any given day she is the child who I have to correct or discipline the least. She is also the one who I have not had to entertain in about 3 years. She has her own thing going on, and she is very good at it. 

 This is Jake, inside his baby nap haven, with Brooke overlooking him. Jake would know when it was his nap time, and often time resist going in the ocean, and point to his stroller, or start saying night night to people, when he wanted to nap. He would kiss us, and Brooke (our favorite person on Earth) and go get a quick shower, get patted down with baby powder (if you are the beach going sort and don't know the magical powers of baby powder when it comes to sand removal talk to me), then get a diaper, climb in his stroller, get a towel thrown over his legs for shade, get pushed back and forth for shade by the surf, fall asleep in about 5 minutes, then get parked under umbrella #2 and sleep for 2-3 full hours despite numerous shouting kids and all sorts of various inturreptions. Jake, is awesome. We started keeping him up late so that we could fit in our long days of baseball and friends and fireworks and all....and he started compensating by sleeping till 10:30 or so. We had to wake him up to get to the beach by 11 as planned. Many nights we stayed till 7. It was blissful. 

 The Dude and his very grateful and slightly lame Mama. 

 Jules and her handsome Daddy enjoy some cuddles in the morning. 

 Powdered up baby pre-games it for his power sleep

 Luke catches his first Fluke, all by himself, His second was about half Luke's size. He fed all 6 of us, by himself, and literally caught them himself. Big thanks to Pop Pop, Frank and Daddy for making this happen. He was SO proud of it. Big moment was when a huge Mako swam by the boat~ Luke saw it and Frank threw out a leader ~ Luke, proving that Sharks are innately frightening to humans, grabbed onto Nate's leg. I love that. Love it. Just so........human. He innately knew that that really big shark was a danger to him ~ had no fear of being 8 miles offshore, no sea sickness, no issues with bait or catching fish....but he saw that big shark and his little brain said: FEAR. So cool. Our bodies are awesome. 

 Julia got her first pedicure with me. She was hilarious. She got to pick our color all by herself. Sortov. I steered her away from the really weird purple and into a lovely "watermelon" which we both are sporting. It was such a fun experience to share with my girl. As Daddy and Luke were fishing, we were pedicuring, Jake and Brooke were bike riding. It was date morning for everyone. Beach afternoon rounded the day out for all of us, then we ended the day with eating Luke's fish and mini golfing with the bigs as Brooke put Jake to bed. What a day :)

 My girl. Jules has officially come into her athletic little self. No more standing on the sidelines, Jules has firmly identified herself as a baseball player and swimmer. She is a killer little boogie boarder ~ she blew us away with her tenacity and lack of fear out there in the ocean. I was so freaking proud of her. She was amazing. 

 Luke was so proud of his catch. He could have fed the whole street. 

 Mommy tried to take on mini golf on crutches. It wasn't easy. Their smiles made it worth it. God I love these kids. This was our best vacation ever. 

 10 short months from now this dashingly handsome guy will be allllll ours. We can't wait. The kids loved having Daddy all to themselves this past week, and so did I :)

 Have I mentioned that they love each other? It astounds me. I give mad props to Jen Otto. I never thought much about the idea of really trying to endear the concept of siblings as best friends, being raised in a home where competition was a little bit ingrained. I will say that I don't have any idea how this happened, but these sweet kids love the snot out of one another, and are kind to one another, and play with one another, all day long. I could not possibly feel more blessed. 

 The 4th. 

 We were so lucky to have to Bickhart's come spent the 4th with us. We spent a lonnnng late afternoon on the beach, outside showers, a delish dinner, and gorgeous fireworks on the beach with our friends. It felt like a night where we were just lucky to be alive, and just lucky to have great friends. Life is so, so good. 

 Boogie boards! They were incredible! Our kids are amazingly adept in the water and we could not be more proud. 

Jules and Brooke. Brooke is not only our Nanny, but she is part of our family and we love her. If she had not been able to come with us we would not have been able to take this vacation due to me being on crutches. We literally love her. She is my friend, and our kids friend. She is our third hand, and we don't know what we would do without her. She enabled us to take date nights, to enjoy time alone with individual kids, and to enjoy time alone simply as individuals. When she left this afternoon I almost cried, and I admit to texting her 3 times since then as I feel like someone is missing in the conversation of our family. We are so lucky to have her in our lives. 

I haven't been blogging because I have felt like I was an outsider on my kids lives for this past few weeks.

This vacation was not only a re-entry into their lives, it was a deeper entry into their lives. I got to spend SLOW time with my kids. Precious, slow, delicious time. I got to sleep late with my husband. Late nights on the beach. Slow walks. Long talks. It was sandy, salty, and truly loving wonderful. I am back. I am back into my family, and even deeper into it than I was before, as I got to experience my children and my husband in an entirely new way. This injury got me to a new kind of vacation bliss, a new kind of depth and slowness with my children, and I can't wait to follow up on it in my blog.

So. Forgive the long absence. I was fighting demons. They are gone.

Happy 4th, if anyone is still reading this, after my long, self pitying and very personally difficult absence. I thank you for bearing with me.