Jake, playing for the first time on Friday Morning. This was the first time I saw my boy smile in a couple of days and it made me cry with happiness.

Eating pancakes on Saturday morning.

Sleeping by my side in my cot early Friday morning.

So yeah, the pictures are all wonky. Sorry.

So here is how it all went down. Luke had strep two weeks ago. We got the culture results on a Tuesday. On WEd, I took Jules and Jakers in to get tested. Because I am all proactive and stuff. They didn't have it. Great! We went to the beach. Jake was miserable. Whiney. Unhappy. Sad baby. Not eating baby. Nursing like a newborn baby.

It culminated in a Saturday night nurse all night fever fest. We decided to come home Sunday morning.

Sunday and Monday and Tuesday he seemed like he was better. Still fussy, but I attributed it to the two teeth he was cutting. No fever. Eating. Sleeping better.

Thought that we were in the clear.

Wednesday night. Super fever. Out of nowhere.

Thursday. 106 fever.

Pedi. Talk of spinal tap and meningitis and pneumonia.

Sent to do x-ray and bloodwork and urine stuff that involved taping a sticky bag to my poor sweet boys ball parts. Had to restrain Jake a lot during these tests. Restraining your baby while people hurt him is not for the feint of heart.

Dr Kienzle called me while we were still at the hospital trying to eek urine out of my poor baby.. Told me that Jake had Pneumonia based on x rays. Says we can handle it with ABX outside of the hospital.

Still in car. Doc calls again. Tells me to drive immediately to hospital based on bloodwork. Tells me that we are pre admitted.

I am sure that Jake has leukemia. Doc laughs at me.

Throw clothes in car. Kiss Nate a lot. Cry.

Walk my baby into the hospital. Think about last time, and how we parked our car in the same lot, and walked in there, in the pain of a difficult, prolonged labor. Thought about how I would do that for a thousand years before I would do this walking in for my sick baby kid thing.

Fast forward to Thursday night. Hospital crib. IV. BABY IV! Like me holding him down for the xray and the blood draw and the whole ball bag thing wasn't torture enough.

More later.