Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety Jog.

I am home. Nate is still in FL, and will be until Friday evening. It was a great trip.

I was the weird person who stood too close to other travellers or hotel guests with children. I stared at all of the babies we encountered, and made up reasons to talk about the kids with strangers. Nate and I talked about them every hour or two, bringing up some funny saying of Luke's or what they were likely doing at that moment.

The first time I got teary was on the plane on the way down. I have admitted once or twice to having a slight authority problem. For some reason having to wear my seat belt on an airplane always thoroughly annoyed me. I mean, odds are that if the plane is going down, I have bigger worries than whether or not my seatbelt is securely fastened. I used to put blankets over my lap, and have actually directly lied to stewardesses in the past when they would ask me if my seat belt was fastened. Mature, eh? I really showed them. :) Anyway. We hit some turbulence on the flight, and the fasten seat belt sign came on. I rushed to fasten mine, and the realization of just WHY I hastened to do so brought tears to my eyes. I really really want to see my kids grow up. I had this one brief moment of "WHAT AM I DOING HERE ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN TO ME ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN TO THEM, THEY NEED ME I NEED THEM!". I calmed myself down by remembering that anything could happen to me, or to them, at any moment of any given day, regardless of where I am. I am not in control. It just continues to amaze me how much kids change you. In the past few weeks I went to the dermatologist to get a full body check for skin cancer, and also just both found a primary doctor and had my first physical in at least 10 years. It's about nothing more than realizing that I really, really, hope to be around for a good long time to see just who these little people turn out to be.

We talked about the kids a lot. We called home a lot. Getting texted pics of the kids from my Dad thrilled me. I loved knowing stupid details like what they were wearing or where they were going that day...........However, we also played two rounds of fabulous golf (Calusa Pines) is probably my favorite course I have ever played, eclipsing even Sawgrass). We saw alligators, a bobcat, a Bald Eagle, snakes and more. We had great meals and some time with friends. We spent an afternoon at the pool, and a full day on the sun soaked beach. We spent Mother's Day in the spa together. I read two books. We slept till past 8. We had quiet meals where I didn't have to get up from the table 20 times, or mop the entire floor at the end of them. I never forget how much I love and need my husband, but to simply have four full days to have fun with him without distraction was wonderful, and necessary. I came home refreshed.

It took all of my willpower not to climb into bed with Luke last night, but I knew my motives were selfish. Instead I heard "Hi, Mama!" at 5.45 when my warm little boy climbed into bed with me and threw his arms around me. We cuddled up in my bed and I just got to drink in the smell and feel of him as we went back to sleep wrapped up together. Jules started laughing when I went into her bedroom. She went right back to nursing, so I suppose I am not very good at weaning. She just was not quite ready yet, and I believe in following her lead. So, we nurse.

Big thank yous to Brooke, Carolyn, Becca and Rich, and Mom and Dad for your help with the kids. Thank you for loving them and for being so important to them, and to us. Clearly they thrived under your care.