Heavy Heart.

Mom Mom got to see the kids on her 87th birthday this past November.

4 Generations of DiLullo women this past 4th of July

I just got back from the hospital, where I was visiting Mom Mom, who fell and broke her hip this weekend. Mom Mom (Or Mom Mom and Jule as the kids call her for reasons we don't understand) is the matriarch of the DiLullo family. Only 3.5 years ago she was the very first person that I told (other than Nate) when I found out that I was pregnant with Luke. I figured I owed it to her after calling her first my entire life when I got in trouble for something :). In the years since then, she has gone pretty rapidly downhill due to Alzheimer's.

My Julia is named after her. It was an honor to be able to name my daughter after a woman who has been one of my heros for my entire life. Mom Mom dealt with anything that came across her plate with laughter and love, and to be around her was always to feel as though every aspect of your being was not just accepted, it was treasured. She loved well and without conditions. I feel like ranting, I feel like being angry, and being sad, and hating aging and hating the loss of dignity that this stupid disease brings, but there is no point. Seeing her there in that hospital bed over the past three days simply breaks my heart.

I feel like I have been in a bit of a slump lately ~ the weather is getting to me, the cold and snow and endless parade of mittens and gloves and the blow to my pride when my gigantic self tried on maternity bathing suits yesterday and just all of it. And then I go sit by that hospital bed, and hold the hand of a woman who held me when I was minutes old, her firstborn Grandchild, and all I can do is just cry. My complaints and tiredness are petty.

If you are the praying sort, I would covet any prayers for Mom Mom Jule. She is in pain, and mired in confusion, and there are a lot of decisions to be made in the next few days. I guess I just ask for prayers for peace ~ Peace for Mom Mom and peace for all of us who love her so very much.