Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I'm having one of those moments

Where I am sitting here weeping giant sobbing tears for a child that I don't know. I'm looking through the photos of a beautiful vibrant 5 year old local child/family who is battling a rare and aggressive brain cancer, and I can't breathe.

I don't know why things like this happen, but it wrenches my heart out. I just put my three kids to bed and now every fiber of my being longs to gather them all up and tuck them safely under my wings and sleep with them. I wish love was enough to keep everyone dear to me safe and healthy.

Sometimes this Mother's heart/love part of parenting feels like too much of a burden to bear. There is no option but to love these people fiercely and to hope and believe the best, I suppose. It hurts to love this much. It just hurts.

4 comments:

  1. JordanSeptember 8, 2011 at 10:27 AM

    Awww. :( I hear that. The love is painful at times. I'm so sorry about the little 5 year old. True devastation.

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  2. KarlySeptember 8, 2011 at 10:55 AM

    I read about her. Truly heartbreaking. It seems these stories take on such a personal meaning when you become a parent...every child is your child. A woman at my company had her high school son hit by a car during cross country track practice over Labor Day weekend. He is still in ICU with a closed head injury, broken leg and elbow. It hurts so much to imagine what can happen in the blink of a second. Life is so precious and precarious.

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  3. TamaraSeptember 9, 2011 at 9:19 PM

    I think that is actually part of what is so amazing about parenthood. We open ourselves up to the most unfathomable, inconceivable vulnerability that is possible on this earth. We volunteer to devote our lives and our very beings to these little creatures, knowing that they can be taken from us at any minute. We live on the edge of devastation, but we do it willingly, because the love of them is worth every heartache, every nightmare of every possibility of what could happen.

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  4. MelissaSeptember 11, 2011 at 5:42 PM

    Oh, Tamara, as usual, you take my words and make them better :) I love you! I am having a hard time at the moment justifying the hard time I have with these kids during the day and the emotions that I feel once they are asleep. This gig is hard. HARD. I can't justify the way that I want to stuff them in a hole at moments with the way that I want to stuff them back inside of my body all safe and sound and perfect. Motherhood is so, so hard.

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