BLah Blah me me me blah.

Our Sunday morning hike took us to the Brandywine River last week.

It has been a great week. Our downstairs is getting painted (no more builder grade asylum white!). The kids have been great. I got good news this week. Silly news, but good news. I was selected as a winner of a free entry to the Broad St. Run in Philly. I was already planning on running it thanks to a friend who was not able to run, but I would have been running as her, rather on the sly. Instead, I am running as myself! I was selected based on an essay I wrote. I wrote about Motherhood, and about Jake's birth, and about how running has given me back faith in my body. After writing it, however, I have been thinking about it all week. While I may have felt let down by my body for a short time after the birth, in truth, laboring for two days with Jake, enduring what I endured, pushing for an hour with a midwife trying to push an anterior lip up over his head.....well, that was some tough shit! And I did it. And my husband supported me. And Jake came out via CS, healthy and kickin.

Yesterday I was in spin class with crazy Diane. She was screaming at us to take it up another few gears, when we were all already at the point of dying. She was saying "You can do it for TWO MINUTES! YOU CAN DO ANYTHING FOR TWO MINUTES!" and I thought of labor. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, after that experience, I know full well that I CAN do anything for two minutes. Today on the treadmill I had set a goal of 8 miles. I hit it, and kept running. I kept thinking about labor. If I could do that for 2 days, surely I could run 2 more miles? And I did. I sprinted the last 1/4 mile of 10 full miles today.

I think that it took me a long time to realize the gift of Jake's birth. We planned exactly what we wanted, and we got most of it. We got to experience labor in the comfort of our home. I got to lean on my husband, to dance around the bathroom with him unencumbered by wires and stupid beeping machines and whatnot. I got to be respected, and treated as a whole person, not just a laboring uterus. And Jake came out via CS. But I did what I wanted to do. He just had different plans. And I think that rather than make me LOSE faith in my body, his birth taught me just how strong and courageous my body can be. And today, I'm reveling in that.

Jake, you gave me a gift I didn't even know that I needed. I know that it is tacky to be proud of oneself as a woman, and I don't care. I am proud of myself.

Blah blah me me me blah. Have a great weekend :)